jason830 Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 Hello, my name is Jason, i just went through a breakup and i would like to get back with her. She broke up but not on bad terms when she left she was touching my face and i told her to let me know when she got home and i have never heard her cry like that before. It has been 3 days so far of No contact, the last time i talked to her was at her house and she asked if i could not talk for about 2 weeks and i said yes, i have almost broken that rule and it is so hard for me not to call her. I asked if i could get a second chance and she said yes but not right now, when i left her house 4 days ago we kissed twice, eyes closed and held hands and i told her that i loved her and she replied the same. She is my first love we had alot of first's together such as first kiss, we both lost our virginity to eachother. I really really want to get back together with her and i just want to know if there is anything that i can do by the next time i talk to her, anything i could say or present to her i could use advice. Another thing is that i had really bad problems with my family and she wanted to know about my dad and what he was like but i couldnt tell her what he was like because he did so many things to me that i just couldnt do it, i know now what it was that i did wrong. I didnt talk enough to her and we didnt get out alot with eachother, i have thought about therapy for myself about my dad and am going to try it but i used to tell her everything about my problems and she would help me in everyway possible. But like i said i need someone's help out there and if anyone can that would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Here's an action plan: First, you need to understand why she broke up with you despite her obvious love for you. It takes a lot of pain (often repeated doses of it) to make a girl who feels that for you leave. What has hurt her? Did you know it at the time? Why didn't you stop doing it sooner? Can you guarantee you won't hurt her in that same way again? How can you guarantee that? Second, these aren't only thinking questions. They are the questions to which you will need to give her real, believable answers if you want to win her back. Third, you could take a big first step by going to therapy now, as a way of demonstrating to her and yourself your commitment to healing. You should also rack your brain for ideas about how to show (rather than tell) her things are going to be different. Are there, for example, some self-destructive habits or behaviors you indulge in that you could give up? Is there some plan for the future you've meant to pursue and talked to her about that you could take some steps toward? Fourth, write her a letter telling her why you love her. Not why you love how she makes you feel or what she does for you. Write a letter that describes how you see her as an amazing separate person who is worthy and deserving of love. Describe what makes her beautiful, what makes her shine and give her that when you see her. Don't read it to her or talk to her about it. Just tell her that no matter what happens you want her to have that so she'll always remember how special she is. BTW, I want to praise you for respecting her 2 week boundary. That shows you do respect her -- it will help to make her feel safer with you. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts