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How many come back after G.I.G.S????

julzfromsa

By julzfromsa
in Second Chances

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julzfromsa Established Member

julzfromsa

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Just wondering. Hoe many of you guys have been in a serious relation for a long time and she leaves! out of the blue to "find herself". Do they ever come running back, i mean what are the chances? Obviously i want her to come back crying but i know its not going to happen. I was a good partner for 11 years, never betrayed her, always loved and supported her.

 

Somewhere i do hope if, if, if, she come back in a year or 2, i would have moved on and could say kindly, no thanks. What are the chances?? Pron nil?

 

Been thinking about this for a while. 1 month NC from either side.

 

Julz

livingnightmare Established Member

livingnightmare

Posted
Posted

Mine never came back after her case of gigs, looks like she's still at it 4 yrs later. It hurts to know it ended with a stranger she met in a club, was eyeing up men and making new "friends" and she rubbed it in my face then made out I pushed her away, when I was just responding to the extreme stress she added on top of the depression she caused me from cheating at the beggining, which I didnt find out till 3 yrs in and a child.makes it much harder to forgive.

 

In some strange way I want her to come back crying, realizing what she destroyed how much cruelty she inflicted at the end to me and my daughter. My daughter still gets upset about it :-(

 

Better off forgetting her and not even entertaining the thought.

 

Would you really want her back? It hurts to think of the things she's doing with other men, would you really want that? She went off for fun, gave it up so freely and easily?

 

Even if maybe I want mine back deep down, I couldn't stomach knowing she has been sleeping with multiple people and the thoughts of what they have done. DISGUSTING.

 

Still learning to let go here, cant get past the anger stage. I think its gone then BAM its back.

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Lennon Member

Lennon

Posted
Posted

My uncle went out with this girl for years in his mid to late 20's, they travelled the world together and he was great to her,

she broke up with him out of the blue, ripped his heart out,

i remember he was a totally different person for quite a while, usually fun loving and a real sound guy. He was very short and moody for a long time.

This was years ago when they broke up. He has a new girlfriend now and is living and working in London. His ex rang him up recently and told him she's married and has two kids. She told him she's unhappy and she missed him. His reply was "I don't give a ****, I've moved on" and he hung up the phone.

Dunno if thats the kind of story your looking for but its true and its not very happy ending for her.

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Lennon Member

Lennon

Posted
Posted
My uncle went out with this girl for years in his mid to late 20's, they travelled the world together and he was great to her,

she broke up with him out of the blue, ripped his heart out,

i remember he was a totally different person for quite a while, usually fun loving and a real sound guy. He was very short and moody for a long time.

This was years ago when they broke up. He has a new girlfriend now and is living and working in London. His ex rang him up recently and told him she's married and has two kids. She told him she's unhappy and she missed him. His reply was "I don't give a ****, I've moved on" and he hung up the phone.

Dunno if thats the kind of story your looking for but its true and its not very happy ending for her.

 

she rang him up like 6 to 7 years after the break up sorry was meant to mention that, i don't know exactly when it was I know it was when i was in my late teens when she broke up with him and im in my mid 20's now

emi Established Member

emi

Posted
Posted

i do not thing whether they come back or not gotta do with GIGS. They only come back when their life isnt great like they think it would turn out when they left you. Sorry to be harsh but if their life is going great and amazing, they wont give a damn about u not to mention comming back.

  • Like 5
FortunateSon Established Member

FortunateSon

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Posted

I like the quote: "never take an ex back, they tried to do better and now they are settling for you." There is a lot of truth in that if you put it in perspective.

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julzfromsa Established Member

julzfromsa

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i do not thing whether they come back or not gotta do with GIGS. They only come back when their life isnt great like they think it would turn out when they left you. Sorry to be harsh but if their life is going great and amazing, they wont give a damn about u not to mention comming back.

 

i like that. Its true. They only come back when the grass isnt greener right. Actually logically it makes no sense to go back to them then. Its sounds cruel and horrid but i dont want the grass to be greener for her right now. Maybe in years to come when ive moved on I would honestly wish her well but for now, cant say that i do.

 

Sometimes - grass isnt always greener and F That.. I prefer the idea of my life been great and amazing. Not hers!

emi Established Member

emi

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Posted

i can understand how you feel OP but however we need to put this thing behind us and move forward. What happen gonna happen, no point in worry about something hasnt happened or maybe wont happen at all

AlphaC Established Member

AlphaC

Posted
Posted
Just wondering. Hoe many of you guys have been in a serious relation for a long time and she leaves! out of the blue to "find herself". Do they ever come running back, i mean what are the chances? Obviously i want her to come back crying but i know its not going to happen. I was a good partner for 11 years, never betrayed her, always loved and supported her.

 

Somewhere i do hope if, if, if, she come back in a year or 2, i would have moved on and could say kindly, no thanks. What are the chances?? Pron nil?

 

Been thinking about this for a while. 1 month NC from either side.

 

Julz

 

Julz, the first thing that pops out from your post is this "11 years" and "good partner". Dude, were you dating a woman here? Women want marriage, they want kids, they don't want to date a man for 11 years. Sorry bro, but maybe this woman found a man who was serious, someone who she could have a family with and get married to. If you date a woman for more than 3 years and don't put a ring on her finger she will bounce sooner or later, unless you are very very young, I'm talking teens and early 20s.

  • Like 2
Kevin_D Established Member

Kevin_D

Posted
Posted
Julz, the first thing that pops out from your post is this "11 years" and "good partner". Dude, were you dating a woman here? Women want marriage, they want kids, they don't want to date a man for 11 years. Sorry bro, but maybe this woman found a man who was serious, someone who she could have a family with and get married to. If you date a woman for more than 3 years and don't put a ring on her finger she will bounce sooner or later, unless you are very very young, I'm talking teens and early 20s.

 

They met when he was 16. I don't think getting married at a young age prevents GIGS.

Softie Established Member

Softie

Posted
Posted

Not many I believe.

 

Plus there is the aspect of if they didn't have the courage to work at it/fight the first time, do you think they will stick around when getting back together will be 100 x more work at it/fight.

 

It's a tough one to call as every person and every situ is different.

vassilbg Member

vassilbg

Posted
Posted (edited)

Let me see here:

 

L****n - (I was dumpee initially though the dumper the final time) Yes, came back twice, and wanted a 3rd shot - at that point, I shot her down. It was anywhere from a month to 2 to 3 months each time.

 

Ex-wife - (I was dumpee initially though the dumper the final time) Yes, came back twice, and wanted a 3rd shot - shot her down too. It was about 6 to 8 months (We were still sleeping together)

 

J***e - Went on a few dates with this one, she backed off, then wanted to try again but I said we are just better off as friends. Going out with her on NYE... I made sure she understands its as friends only and not a date. We have a good time so I don't see harm as long as she know my intentions aren't to be with her.

 

K***a - (I was the dumpee) Yes, came back once, and I felt like she was starting to come back for a 3rd round but I was dating someone else. It took her 2 months the first time she came back, and about 6 months when she started poppin up again.

 

K***y - (I was dumpee both times, though I wanted to end it about a month before she did the final time) Yes, came back once (6 months), we just split a month ago, and she still texts me here and there. I respond. I have a feeling she'll be back in about another 30 to 90 days... maybe sooner.

 

There have been random girls who I've dated in the past and regardless of who dumped who, they do come back, and will keep coming back if you allow them to.

 

The one thing that ALL of these girls have in common is that I WALKED AWAY, regardless of how hard it was, I did it. The minute you stop chasing, amazing things happen.

Edited by vassilbg
  • Like 5
True Gent Established Member

True Gent

Posted
Posted
Just wondering. Hoe many of you guys have been in a serious relation for a long time and she leaves! out of the blue to "find herself". Do they ever come running back, i mean what are the chances? Obviously i want her to come back crying but i know its not going to happen. I was a good partner for 11 years, never betrayed her, always loved and supported her.

 

Somewhere i do hope if, if, if, she come back in a year or 2, i would have moved on and could say kindly, no thanks. What are the chances?? Pron nil?

 

Been thinking about this for a while. 1 month NC from either side.

 

Julz

 

I feel for you bud, I'm in a similar position myself... It was a 9 year relationship for me we were engaged.

 

It's only a matter of weeks since she left and started seeing her new BF. I say started seeing, she'd already lined him up but that's not important right now. At first I really wanted her to come back, now just a couple of weeks on I don't want her back.

 

I'd like her to come back so I can tell her to go **** herself, but I don't want her to come back because I want her. I couldn't after she's been with another man now so soon after leaving me.

 

You must let go of any hope of her coming back... It may happen, but it is very likely that it won't. Be realistic if someone can leave you after 11 years, how much do they love you?

 

The best thing to do no matter how hard is live your life for you now. One day she may come crawling back and you're happy with a new hot chick, now that would be a nice turnaround and the best **** you ever!

  • 2 weeks later...
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julzfromsa Established Member

julzfromsa

Posted
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Julz, the first thing that pops out from your post is this "11 years" and "good partner". Dude, were you dating a woman here? Women want marriage, they want kids, they don't want to date a man for 11 years. Sorry bro, but maybe this woman found a man who was serious, someone who she could have a family with and get married to. If you date a woman for more than 3 years and don't put a ring on her finger she will bounce sooner or later, unless you are very very young, I'm talking teens and early 20s.

 

Didnt mention we were engaged to get married, wedding was in 2 months. Venue paid. Rings paid. House Bought. Wedding dress bought. Honeymoon bought.. She wanted to play - not something serios

AlexfromBoston Established Member

AlexfromBoston

Posted
Posted

Im pretty much on par with Vassilbg in the sense that every single girl I have dated has come back after a period of NC. I truly believe that women have an easier time pulling the plug on a relationship bout have a harder time adjusting in the long run. In contrast, men may have a tougher time with a breakup initially, but move on and maintain better in the long run. I think its all in the way you handle a breakup that determines whether or not you have a shot in the future. I always follow the same formula: 1. Plead and beg(nothing crazy) for a few weeks 2. Send an acceptance email(never text...too easy to ignore and delete) outlining my feelings and positive outlook on the breakup. 3. Go NC for at least a month(each time my exes have returned around the 3 week mark) 4. set up a friendly date and act like the man that she first met. I never EVER bring up the past and I never pressure my exes into a relationship. My main problem with each relationship is that I don't put in enough effort...I focus too much on work and extra curricular activities. I am never a bad guy and most women find me attractive so I am sure that helps my cause. If you are good and shared some fond memories with your ex/es, chances are she will never forget you.

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julzfromsa Established Member

julzfromsa

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Thank you for the feedback

 

I have been strict no contact for nearly 2 months now. She has tried contacting me but always rather negatively.. Perhaps this one may require a bit more time that 3 weeks. Perhaps 3 lifetimes!

 

Dont think she will ever reach out. She is trying to get my attention through rumors, etc etc, but im at peace with never speaking to her again. I realize she isn't good for me and trying to move on as best i can.

 

If she does reach out, it will most certainly help my confidence but im not sure ill ever go back.

 

So ill keep up the NC Hardcore!!!

 

Julz

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