scotter Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 hey everyone.....I'm new to this and I need some help. My gf of 2.5 years recently split. We are on great terms we see each other once a week and talk almost everyday. The reason for the break up is all on me. I was careless with my spending habits and wasn't being the responsible person she needed to be with and live with. She warned me time after time that she could take it and if I want this relationship to last I need to make changes. Well I thought the changes could happen on their own. But it didn't. 2 weeks ago she left. I'm so pissed off and angry at myself. I had all the warnings in the world and did nothing. She has told me that she doesn't want to end what we had(other than my money issues things were fine). But she can't live in a stressful relationship. I so understand what she means. Once I get my act together and pay off debts and prove to here that I can be and want to be responsible she would love to get back together. I'm very motivated to do this. I've gotten a second job cut cost on utilities. Trying to sell my baseball collections. Just anything to get what needs to be done. She wants us to start over. We are in the "seeing" each other thing. I'm happy to have that. I'm so lucky I didn't lose her all together. But how do I cut the feelings off and slow down. I mean I screwed up big time. I have alot to prove to her. But it's so hard to contain my feelings. We both moved to MN last winter. We have no family and really no friends here. Well she has few friends at work who she can vent to. But I have nobody so when I see her it's like I have to tell her how I feel and how I'm sorry and how I'm gonna take care of the problems. But I don't want to push her away by smothering her. I want to give her space. Someone help me here. I've lost alot in the past 2 weeks I don't want to lose anything more. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Tell her that you need her support. Also, you have to be completely open to her suggestions and criticism if she sees you regressing. If you fight her over this stuff, you will lose her for good. Try to establish a team bond with her where you both work together to solve the problems instead of fighting each other. (that doesn't mean borrow money from her) Link to post Share on other sites
Author scotter Posted August 1, 2004 Author Share Posted August 1, 2004 Today has been hell for me.....I'm really feeling alone and missing A.....I feel like I'm taking on the world.....I have never loved anyone like I love her.......I so want to make it all work.,...I know what I have to do...and she is supporting me.....not finacialy. I make enough money to pay for everything....I just didn't save money. there is nothing to fall back on if there was something to happen to myself my dog or her. I have 3 debts that she wants me to take care off........and save money and prove to her that I am a resposible person who just tried to have to much. I don't know......I'm gonna use this as a vent. I have nobody to vent to I don't wanna vent to A because that may push her away.....anyone with advice please feel free......in advance thanks for the help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scotter Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 So A came over today for dinner....We've done this everyweek since she has moved out. It was nice....we talked alittle.......It was just a good time.....but the shocker is when she left she hugged me......and this wasn't just a hug.....she squeezed tight and didn't let go........I don't want to get my hopes up....but it's hard.......like I've said before she does want things to work out where we can get back together...........Of course I want it now........but I understand where she is coming from...............BLAH.......I should just take things as is and not looking to it shouldn't I......I hate all this......some days I'm great focused and positive atleast once a weak I'm down and felling bumbed........trying to stay busy but I can only go to the gym for so long.........anywho.......I would love advice......... Link to post Share on other sites
TRICIA1273 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Don't worry so much I understand where your coming from I been dating my boyfriend for over a year now of course one year less than you but I am so in love with this guy but we have some major problems we need to really deal with and right now we are just friends. I am like you I want to work things out with him really bad but I am not sure where he is at right now with everything. But just have faith and hang in there ok. I am bummed out hella bad at times but I am trying to tell myself if it was meant to be it will work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scotter Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 How do I keep myself from being a broken record.......it seems as though everytime we talk it's turns into the same topic....the same topic of how I still feel for her or her lack of feelings for me.........That's not what I want to do......I'm so freaking lucky to get this 2nd chance i don't want to blow it......Her general response is "I've heard it all before".....what she means by that is everytime she would threaten to end the relationship unless I made some changes and proved to her that they weren't for only 2 weeks and then back to the same poo. But this is all for real.....I'm done with it all......I'm doing what I need to do what I should have done from the start. I wish she would give in a little....But I know she can't......I know it's gonna take time and effort........and I'll do it......It's been a couple weeks now since A left....I miss her more everyday. I'm still sad but showing it in other ways.....I had two really low days...........But the rest have been not so bad.....I'm focused I want and she wants what we ahd in the start....and there is no reason we can't........... Link to post Share on other sites
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