Inspirational quotes

[thora-tiki]

I found all these wonderful quotes the other day,

and I wanted to share them with you guys.

 

Feel free to share your own quotes on this thread.

 


- Act like its over, because it is

 


- Master the breakup before it masters you.


- Every time you see him or think of him

just think of him as the attempted murderer of your heart.

 

- You are not the gift that keeps on giving. So just stop!

You are pouring yourself into a black hole.

 

- Give him a new and final experience of you. Your silence.

 

- Have some self-respect. You are worth more than text messaging or emailing –

that’s all he’s got for you, and it’s no use to you.

 

- You gave him your everything, he gave you nothing.

Now return the favour, give him nothing

 

- Stop doing the same thing expecting different results.

Do something DIFFERENT. Like shut-up!

 

- Give yourself some peace. Any contact with him does not create peace or tranquility or

better understanding;

it only perpetuates distress and confusion. It never solves anything for you.

 

- Contacting him will only remind you of how unimportant you are to him.

Last thing you need right now is someone showing you how much you don't matter.

Don't give it the space.

 

- Remember: He will speak to you if that is what you want;

but only under the terms of his own self-serving agenda,

only if he sets the topics and you abide by his unreasonable boundaries –

that’s his deal, you can have it or you can fu*k off.

Don’t go along with it any more. Choose fu*k off.

Choose you.

- I think its more of a mental game we are playing with ourselves to let go of the ex.

We have to defeat whatever is in our head and win this.

 

- You cannot change him; you cannot get through to him.

The only thing you can change is your own behaviour.

So change it.

 

- You wouldn’t put up with his crap arrangement from anyone else –

what reasons do you think you have to put up with it from him?

 

- He does not want what you have offered him.

He has turned you down,

time and time and time and time again.

Why are you still offering him anything at all?

- He is not going to care about you. You need to care about you.

Be your own best friend. Do what you know is good FOR YOU

- Remember: you are not in the same relationship.

He is not in this with you.

You are riding solo to Miseryville via Miseryville. Get off the horse.

 

- He is neither emotionally nor physically available for you.

He is somewhere else, on some other planet.

So long as you remain emotionally and physically available for him

you are burying and abandoning yourself in a loveless tomb –

all by yourself. Why would you do that?

 

- Because after all, «If you don't fight for your happiness, who will?»

 

- As long as you don't give up - you will succeed.

 

- Healthy can't date unhealthy.

 

- Every day is not a make or break day.

[lindsay1990]

From Leslie Braswell's great book on the Art of No Contact:

 

 

- Silence speaks louder than words

 

- Stand your ground now, play your cards right and reap the rewards later. Remember to always think of your long-term goals and plan backwards.

 

- The hardest part about a break up is controlling your emotions, which is why silence is golden. It camouflages your emotions, it hides your (temporary) crazy.

 

- By not allowing him to know what you're thinking, you transfer those feelings of insecurity and rejection he's made you feel back to him.

 

- A strong woman doesn't allow a man to make her messy.

 

- Respect yourself so much that he won't have any choice but to come where you are... on your pedestal.

 

- Mr. Ex is one step ahead of you. He's had plenty of time to prepare his exit well in advance of informing you of his decision to do so. That's why he's handling the break up like a champ... he's had ample time to prepare himself mentally and to detach himself emotionally.

 

- No contact hides the fact that you may be falling apart.

 

- NO DAMAGE CONTROL REQUIRED. (Basically that you can start No Contact at any point, it's never to late to implement even after you've begged and pleaded). You need not offer any apology, explanation or excuse for your behaviour. You were going through an emotional time which is only to be expected. It only shows you loved him. By going silent he'll slowly forget about all of the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. (Let's really hope this one is true!!!)

 

- There is a reason why marriage vows include "for better or for worse". Even if you acted in a way that you are not so proud of a man that truly loves, cares for you and adores you will be more than willing to handle you with delicate gloves when signs of trouble arise.

 

- Make him feel the loss of your presence. Just... like... a death.

 

- Lets silence speak volumes for you. Now is the time to let your quiet strength shine. Show him (show, not tell, I say) that your live is going forward and functions quite nicely without him.

 

- When he broke up with you, it was his decision that left your heart shaterred. You weren't given the opportunity to fix what was broken. But when you take away the emotional control he has over you by implementing No Contact, you win.

 

- Always remember this: love doesn't hurt.

 

- There were probably red flags waiving like torches of red-hot fire you ignored. Did he stop making plans in advance? Maybe he acted indifferent towards you when you were around each other.

 

- It is no longer your job to fix "this".

 

- When you can finally let go it when you will be at peace with yourself.

 

- It takes four to eight weeks for a man to realize what he has lost. (...) If he hasn't contacted you within eight weeks he's definitely moved on and you should do the same. Don't give him another thought. Don't let it consume your mind. Move on and be marvellous.

 

(I know this isn't very encouraging for many of us but it may help to have this kind of artificial rule after which we "give up" and have to force ourselves to give up hope, no?)

 

- How a man treats you when no one is watching is the best test you can give a man.

 

- Don't waste any more of your precious time seeking closure because he has already provided it to you.

 

- No Contact is exactly what you need to think with a clear mind.

 

- There is a reason behind the "we can be friends" line delivered during a break up that only feeds his ego. It makes him feel like less of an ass that he is. He feels guilty for breaking up and believes that by offering friendship he is being a great guy.

 

- Just because Mr. Ex wants to sleep with you does not mean he loves you, wants a future with you or wants to reconcile with you.

 

- If he doesn't step up for you, accept the fact that you have dodged a bullet and be thankful you didn't spend more of your time.

 

- If you have to wonder where you stand in a relationship, how serious he is about you or how he feels about you that is a big, flashing neon warning sign.

 

- The only time you'll ever be satisfied and obtain closure with a break up is when you're the one breaking up. Accept the fact that unless a break up ends on your term any break up you experience will end in pain and heartache.

 

- DO NOT curse at him or tell him he will never find someone better. First, it's not a nice a look and if you do, he will make a point of finding someone better. And you're only showing you as*.

 

- What your ex does from this point on is none of your concern.

 

- Don't act as if you have a full life, actually have a full life.

[lindsay1990]

- Your only job is to show him/her that you can live without him/her.

 

- Word will get back to him/her that you've either smeared his/her name or that you spoke complimentary words. If you choose the first option it only confirms in his/her mind that the split was in his/her best interest.

 

- "He's so lucky to be going out with me." ~ Kate Middleton

 

- When you respond to calls and text messages from Mrs./Mr. Ex after a break up, you're rewarding with attention his fragile ego.

 

- Redirect all the attention you were giving to him/her back to YOU.

 

- Getting your emotions under control while in No Contact will allow your brain to catch up to your heart.

 

- You can't choose your emotions but you CAN choose to let them consume you or to get out of that dark place quickly.

 

- When dealing with matters of the heart, your first reactions are always wrong. You have to resist the urge to fire off a text or an email.

 

- You simply cannot control who comes and goes in an d out of your life, but you can control your reactions and your behaviors, and ultimately, your happiness.

 

- We have to be our own source of comfort and stability, this should not be (not then, not now and not later) a job for Mr./Mrs. Ex.

[lindsay1990]

From Carol Mills' Get Over Your Breakup Without Going Crazy

 

- Realize that you can't turn back time so regrets will not be productive and only add to the pain.

 

- AVOID:

-- Denial: "Maybe he/she will come back". It is your personal responsibility to face the truth.

-- Idealism: "He/she was The One". If they were The One they would be with you right now and they aren't.

-- Obsessing: "I can't stop thinking about him/her!". ¨Psychologists call this repeated circuitous thinking 'rumination' and it is founded on the faulty misbelief that if you think REALLY hard about something you will find answers and clarity. Typically, this is not the outcome and rumination only causes further distress and worry. If rumination is prolonged, the condition can lead to bouts of depression and even phobias.

-- Self-doubt: "I will never love again/no one will ever love me again". You will!

 

- You don't put your hand on a hot stove because you know it will burn. Similarly, staying No Contact keeps you away from something that can and will still hurt you.

[lindsay1990]

MODS: Could this be moved to the Coping section? Thank you!

[lylat333]

I had been meaning to share this for a while, remembered it today and also this thread which I think is an appropriate place to put it.

 

I have never seen the movie but my cousin recently watched Swingers (1996) and said he thought of me when he saw a scene towards the beginning and he showed it to me. Here is the dialogue... seemed very appropriate:

 

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?

Rob: You don't call.

Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.

Rob: Right.

Mike: So I don't call either way?

Rob: Right.

Mike: So what's the difference?

Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.

Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?

Rob: Right.

Mike: Well that sucks.

Rob: Yeah, it sucks.

Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?

Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.

Mike: What do you mean?

Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.

Mike: Well what if she comes back first?

Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.

[thora-tiki]

This is from a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, I found it fitting for no contact:

 

«We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go.

 

For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.»

 

Have a great week fellow no contact warriors!

[Art_Critic]

~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~

[MoooOinkBaaa]

If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best ― Marilyn Monroe

[Sasa123]

Quotes helped me through the toughest time. Everytime I heard something I wrote it down. Today I can still feel better after reading some of the quotes.

 

Here are some of them. The rest of them are Danish, so I guess not very useful for you

 

Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

 

Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Missing is just a part of moving on.

 

Silence is the most powerful scream.

 

You can't make homes out of human beings, someone should have told you that already, if he wants to leave, then let him leave.

 

Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.

 

Sometimes, you have to give up on people. Not because you don't care, but because they don't.

 

The past can hurt. Either you can run from it or learn from it.

 

Sometimes you have to care less to see if they'll care more.

 

The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to.

 

Struggle isn't fun, but it's an opportunity to be brave.

 

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

 

Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one.

 

Everything will be okay in the end. If its not okay, it's not the end.

 

Don't lose yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn't care about losing you

 

Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it will crush. Hold it too loose it will fly.

 

Let no one become your everything, because if they'll walk away, you have nothing.

 

Sometimes the fastest way to go there, is to go slow. And sometimes, if you wanna hold on, you have to let go.

 

You can't see the future with tears in your eyes.

 

It only ends once. Everything else is just a progress.

[thora-tiki]

Well, I won't back down, no I won't back down

You can stand me up at the gates of hell

But I won't back down

 

Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around

And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down

Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down

Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out

Hey I will stand my ground and I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just one life

In a world that keeps on pushin' me around

But I stand my ground and I won't back down

 

Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out

Hey I will stand my ground and I won't back down

No I won't back down.

[thora-tiki]

Life has chucked us both a bit of a lemon.

 

He/She/The ex-hole can continue to suck on it if he/she wants,

it'll only make him/her bitter.

 

I'm gonna squeeze the bastard and make lemonade.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

 

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you win then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” | Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

 

((Questions can “have a life of their own” and must not be rushed to answers. If a question has come to us from an honest perplexity and desire to understand, then that question itself is already a great achievement, and Rilke suggests we cherish it. If we are “living” the question, not just as an intellectual problem or puzzle that we are curious to solve, but as something that truly matters to us, then we are already on the road to understanding. Rilke invites us to see this not as a problem, but as a deep necessity of life, since “no human being anywhere can answer for you” those ultimate questions of life. Even if you could be led right to an answer, still it would not do you any good, and it would not be your answer, unless you could see it with your own eyes--answers "cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them." So until the time when we are ready to find an answer ourselves, the best we can do is to contemplate the question. ----I didn't write that by the way.))

 

A friend told me, "The wise are never answered and in that, that’s when you find yourself and become a stronger person."

 

“Just to be clear I don’t want to get out without a broken heart. I intend to leave this life so shattered there’s going to have to be a thousand separate heavens for all my flying parts.” ~Andrea Gibson

 

Accept what you can't change and love all the rest.

 

“Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being. (109)” - Jean Yves Leloup

 

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.” -Mandy Hale

 

“One of the best times for figuring out who you are & what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.” -Mandy Hale

 

“Don't throw your life away because of one man. Don't make yourself something he will always be glad he was rid of. Make yourself something he will wish he had kept.” -Lael Morgan

 

“How satisfying will it be to know that no matter what happens to your relationship and no matter where or with whom he ends up in his life that you taught him everything he knows...? Catty? Maybe, but that’s a fun thought.” -Robert Hogue

 

LOVE THIS THREADDDD!!!!! <3

[Canadiangirl78]

Thank god you posted this. I literally had the phone in my hand to call my ex but decided to come to LS first and found this and thought I would read the quotes before I called him. Thank you everyone for these quotes, I will NOT be contacting that aHole after reading through this thread. He doesn't deserve to see my number, hear my voice, or be lucky enough to engage in a conversation with me..

 

Thank you everyone, just trying to stay strong over here.