How do I get my exgirlfriend back when she has says she has no feelings for me anymor

[UNDFTGIRISHWDW]

I met this girl named Amanda back in November. After she went through a short relationship with a guy named Mike, we started to date in January. Things started out good at first. Then my problems began to hurt us. I have ADHD, obsessive compulsive disorder, and I am bipolar. I wasn't very good to her. I didn't get my drivers license unit May and before that she did everything for me, drove me everywhere, was there for me no matter what. I have had alot of problems at home and it made out relationship bad. She gave me so many chances to change and to start treating her better. I would call her names. When she was around I didn't pay much attention to her. After the first time she broke up with me, she told me she thought that she liked another guy. Well we worked things out and I changed temporarily to get her back. After a while I started going back to my old self. She was upset because I was immature, didn't have a savings or checking account, and that I need to do something with my life. I work at a grocery store and go to college, but I she said I have no motivation....she is right....I don't. For my birthday, she did all kinds of stuff for me, and that was the night she told me she loved me. I didn't know what I loved or if I loved her at all. I knew that I cared about her. I let my mind wander about other women. I never cheated on her but I worried more about this girl I met in Florida than Amanda. Amanda was cranky and crabby sometimes, but she truly cared for me like no other girl has before. Things kept getting worse. In the middle of May, my father passed away. Amanda stayed at my house for 5 or 6 days nonstop to be with me. She lost her father when she was 11. She was there for me and wanted to be there for me to talk to. I pushed her away during this time and payed little attention to her. Whenever we went out during our relationship, I was always unprompt and late all the time. She began to get fed up. A month ago, she moved to Columbus because her stepsister told her that their place was hiring. She got the job and moved in with them. I went up to see her a few times, but things weren't going good. About 2 weeks ago, Amanda broke up with me. I am not saying that I didn't treat her good at all, I just didn't do it very often. I went to see her last weekend and instead of listening to what she said, I ended up locking us out of her sisters house. She was infuriated and preceded to tell me that her family was happy she broke up with me. She said that her family liked me, but that her mom was glad that she could have someone who didn't need babied. Now I am in the worst depression of my life. I can't quit calling her. It is to the point where she says I am harassing her and I am psycho. She told me all she wanted to be was friends and be single. She said she has no feelings for me like that anymore, but that she does care for me as a friend. The more I call the more I push her away. At this point she has even said she doesn't want to be my friend if I act like this. I asked her if I changed myself and got some help if maybe she would consider it in the future, she said she can't tell what will happen in the future. I need some advice. I love Amanda with all my heart and I don't know what to do. Right now, I have no other interest in any other women. I want her. I have even considered moving to Columbus to be nearer to her. I made the biggest mistake of my life and I can't live with it. I had a great girlfriend and I blew it. Do I have any chance at getting her back even though she said she has no feelings for me anymore? Has anyone else been in this situation? I really need advice. She told me last night that she met a guy named dave online from Columbus and they started to get to know each other. Right now she wants nothing but friendship from me and told me that I will get over her and to move on and quit trying. I still have feelings for her and miss her, but she doesn't miss me or have the same feelings for me. She told me the other day that she doesn't miss me because I don't give her the chance to. Now she doesn't want to hear me talk about me and her anymore or where I messed up. I don't know what to do. Last weekend I went to see her in columbus where she moved to. We were already broken up. When I got there we kissed and hugged....and she asked me if things were going to change. We were getting ready to go to the mall and she told me to lock the deadbolt on the door. I locked both locks. When she shut the door, we couldnt get back in and she didn't have a key for that one. She became very angry with me and was mad because I misunderstood her. She cried. She told me that she wanted me to leave when we got it unlocked. We had to drive an hour or so away to get the key from her brother-in-law. She got a ticket on the way up there and started crying. I calmed her down and everything and by the trip home we were ok. When we got to the lake where they were staying, she said it was a nice lake and we should come out here sometime. I told her this was a road that takes you to my grandfathers house, and she said she would remember that so if she ever comes to see me there then she knows how to get there. We were ok on the way home and when we got back she made me dinner and then we made love twice. She said she still had feelings for me. When I talked to her on the phone the night I left, she said she missed me. We talked that night on the phone and then before we got off she told me to try not to call her tomorrow unless I have to. I told her I want to be with her, and she said just give us time. A few days later she said that she meant that we need time to get over each other. I want to get her back somehow, someway. Even though she said she has no feelings for me anymore....do I have any chance at all. I can't understand how she can have feelings one weekend and by the middle of the next week, not have any. It just doesnt make any sense. Yeah I have called her alot, and have pestered and harassed her about the same ideas, but I dont understand how she can just not care about me anymore like that. She said her feelings wont changed. I have alot of issues and I asked her that if I get my life in order, would she consider it in the future, and she said she cant read the future. I want to change and I called a psycologist and set up an appointment. I need to go on medication and I plan on that. Is there anything I can do to get her back. Any advice anyone can give me. Please help me. She used to love me and have feelings for me and I want them to return someday. What can I do to get her back? Thanks.

[supermom]

Don't call her for at least a week. She's right, she hasn't had the chance to miss you. Give her that chance. I know I'd be wondering what happened to you if I were her.

 

Be strong and do it, do it for the sake of your sanity and relationship. Keep us posted.

[UNDFTGIRISHWDW]

I am schedule to see her today because I have some money for her and because I have 2 gifts for her. I miss her so much. She has to have feelings. Last weekend she wanted me to come and see her so bad. They couldn't of gone away in a week, could they? I mean I keep calling her....last monday after I got back she told me she missed me. Then wednesday she blew up on me and said she had no feelings for me. I don't understand what is going on. Her exfriend told me that there is a 95% chance that she has feelings for me, but that she is subduing them adn that she wants to get over me. I want her in my life. I love her. I schedule to go get some psycological help, but I want her to see that I am trying to change. She told me to change for the next person. That she never wants me back. I asked her if I changed would you consider me in the future, and she said that shouldn't couldn't tell what would happen in the future. So I don't know what to think. Please help me.

[UNDFTGIRISHWDW]

Well, I met her saturday. Two days before we got in a big argument and she told me to just mail the money and stuff I got for her to her. Everything went pretty good. She said she made up her mind and is not taking me back. I told her that I was going to show her that I could change and I wasn't calling her anymore and I said that I know she would call me when she was ready and she said yeah. I told her she had to have feelings, she said she had some. We ate lunch together and she kept rubbing her foot on my leg and when we walked around the mall she kept flirting with me, bumping into me and trying to trip me. Our mall has these back massage chairs and I paid for us to use them. When we were in them, she told me thanks and put her hand on mine. Before we left, she hugged me and put her head on my shoulder. I had asked to kiss her earlier in the day and she said no....I tried again and she kinda pulled away at first but we ended up kissing a few times. Then I got in my car and as I was pulling out she told me thanks for everything. I kissed her again and then I told her that I love her. It almost looked as if she was about to say it when she stopped herself. I got in my car and blew her a kiss and she blew me one back and we left. She told me she would be online that night but not to call her unless it was about this school in columbus I am looking at. I got online and started talking to her and asked if i could call her. She said no. I was dumb and called her anyways. She was mad. I got off and later I asked if I could call....she said no....I called her anyways. Before that we got in an argument online and she told me that it was friends or nothing. I told her today(hugging and kissing) felt right and she said yeah. I asked her if she felt anything when we kissed and she said no. I asked her why she flirted with me then if she had no feelings and she said she was flirting as friends(that doesn't make any sense). I asked her if I got myself help and changed, would she consider me in the future, and she said said "what did I tell you before". I told her "you didn't know and said you would have to see". She said "exactly". Well we ended up fighting and she hung up. I tried twice to call her back to no avail. The third time I left a voice message. The next day I tried twice and the third time she answered. I told her I wasn't calling her anymore, that she would call me when she was ready, and she was irritable and said ok. Then we got off. I called her the next day and made the big mistake of telling her that I met another girl and asked her if she could give me any advice and to tell me what I did wrong to her so that I wouldn't do it to this girl. She got mad, said I was rubbing it in her face. I told her she was my best friend and I asked her if I was her best friend....she said no because you don't listen to me when I tell you not to call. We argued. I made the big mistake of asking about the guy she was seeing. She has not met him yet from what she says. She told me it was none of my business that he would treat her better than I ever did. Then she told me that there are a few guys and that she is dating around. I made the dumb mistake again asking if they were all white and she blew up and said what does it matter, its none of my business, and that a guy black as night would treat her better than I ever did. That pissed me off. I kept saying all I want to be is friends and she told me that if I keep it up she was going to have guys come up and beat my ass. So I told her I wont call and she said get ahold of me when you get your head fixed. Well, I tried to get me to tell her about the guys she was seeing and she got mad and said she had to go and hung up. She was also mad because I called her before that and her sister called and I waited on the other line a while and called back....and she told me I was rude and she got mad at me. Well, I got online. She was online and I told her that I would just talk to her on here. She said "k". Well, I tried asking about her mom and dad and she said I was buttering her up, I tried to say I wasn't. I asked her what I can do so that we can just be friends and she told me to leave her the hell alone right now. I told her ok and she said she didn't want to talk to me right now and told me to say bye or she would block me. I told her bye and got off and haven't talked to her since. A few people told me to leave her alone for a couple of weeks and I plan on it. It will be hard but I am going to do it. I don't want to harass her, its just its almost like I can't help myself. I miss her and want to at the very least be friends with her, but I need advice. I don't know what to do. I am not going to call her for a long time and I wont have any contact with her for a few years unless she gets ahold of me. Please give me any advice that you can. Thank you, just be honest with me on what to do.

[kutenkooky]

Number 1 You need to take care of your health first. That means getting to the Dr. and regulating the Bipolar disorder. It will not only help you feel better but to think a little clearer. Your mental health is the most important thing. No contact means no contact. Just try for a couple days and see if you can do it. Just try and stay busy and make yourself your first priority. After that then start worrying about her. Just remember it will get better if you give yourself the attention you deserve. Take care of yourself!

[faux]

You need to stop pursuing this girl. You need to stop talking to her, to any of her friends or family, and you need to stop contacting her. No email, no IMs, no notes, no phone calls, no letters, no telling a friend to tell her something. No nothing.

 

You're freaking this girl out, and she's telling you that you are freaking her out. She most likely does NOT want to be your friend, and is simply attempting to spare you your feelings. The relationship is over and you need to realize this. She claims that she feels you are harassing her, and from what you have described I agree with her view point. I would be frightened as well if I were in a slightly similar situation with anybody.

 

You have problems that you need to be focusing on which involve your health and stability. This girl is not what you need to be concerning yourself with. I recommend leaving her alone and breaking off all contact with her immediately. Things will come to a point where she can and will get the police involved, and you won't do to well in that sort of situation.

 

Walk away now while you still can. I think that would be far better than being escorted away by police and having a restraining order placed on you. Try to stop obsessing over this and work on yourself.

 

Get the Bipolar and OCD under better control by getting professional help. And you know, in order to help you get over this breakup, counseling would help in that area as well.

 

Additionally, the next time that you say you are not going to call her, you should mean it. You told her you wouldn't call and the next day you call her. This really has to stop before she gets driven so nuts that you'll dig yourself into a load of trouble.

[UNDFTGIRISHWDW]

Faux,

Thanks for the reply. I haven't made contact with her since tuesday and I am doing fairly well. I am going out with a girl tonight and I have met another girl that I like and am planning on seeing her again. I do want to be friends with my ex still and I think that backing off is the best bet. In about 2 weeks or so I will probably email her just to see how she is doing....just a short email....but until then I will have no contact. Maybe that will show her that I am giving her space. If it happens in the future, it happens. She told me to get my head fixed first before I get ahold of her again....and that is what I plan on doing. So until then, I will worry about myself then try to form a friendship. Calling her 7 times a day will not help me. I asked her if I get help would you consider me in the future and she said she would have to see, so if it happens it happens. I am going to have to prove to her that I am getting help for myself first and dealing with my bipolar, OCD, and ADHD. Is it possible for me to still be friends with her....and if we begin to talk normal online again....when is the best time for me to ask her if she minds if I drop by and say hi? Any advice you can provide I would appreciate. Thanks alot.

[jw32802]

Wait, so the reason she broke up with you is because you didnt treat her all that well right? she asked you to change you wouldnt right? is it that you never thought she'd really leave for good? I think this is a good lesson for you to learn not to play with others emotions, but i do feel for what you're going thru. i think my ex is bipolar too....u realized you loved her this much AFTER she was gone right?

[UNDFTGIRISHWDW]

Yes, I know I was bad to her and I doubted her when I knew deep in my heart that I could trust her. I did love her now I am not sure. I still care for her very much, but I can't talk to her right now because I have upset her. I don't know when is a good time to call, IM, or email her again. I will probably email her in about two weeks just to see how she is doing....that is all. I learned a great lesson and someday I want to thank her. I have a counseling appointment on tuesday and after that if I need medication for my ADHD, bipolar, and OCD then I will go on it. My health is my top priority and right now I am not happy with how I have treated her. That sums it up. Goodday to all!

[UNDFTGIRISHWDW]

I had my first counseling visit today and everything went pretty good. I emailed her early sunday morning and I talked to her on the computer monday morning for a few minutes. She told me she was too tired to email me back at the time. I am guessing that she was out somewhere the whole night. I haven't recieved an email yet from her....so I don't know what to think. I wish she would call me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I have ruined the best thing that ever happened top me. I can't quit second guessing myself. I keep thinking "was there someone else....was she cheating on me....". She told me she didn't believe in cheating, that she would never do it to me, that it just wouldn't happen. She got upset because I didn't trust her. Her ex friend even told me that she wouldn't cheat on me, but for some reason I still have my suspicions. I am insecure about myself and I got help to try to get me through this and help me deal with my problems. I was abusive to her and she was such a good girlfriend and a good friend....not perfect but she was there for me when I needed her. Now she lives 2 hours away, we aren't together anymore....and I miss her dearly. I want to get her back somehow.....but I don't even know where to begin. I have tried to date around somewhat, but I can't get my mind off of her. I keep thinking "she is not Amanda". I can't correct my mistakes now. I have to live with them. She was a good person and I wish the best to her. I haven't called her in a week. If you read my previous entries, you will see that calling her all the time only made things worse. I just don't know if I can wait a long period of time before hearing from her again. Will she ever get ahold of me again....to see how things are going at least? I am doing everything in my power not to call her although I have wanted to a couple of times and came close. Her business is not mine anymore and I am trying to realize that. I know she is a good person and I expect her to make good decisions in her life. I have prayed for her twice already. I feel like I let a good thing go and I will do anything to have another chance, but right now she won't even talk to me because I have called and harassed her so much. I never threatened to hurt her or anything, but I would keep asking the same questions over and over and I know it was getting on her nerves. Does anyone have any good advice for me. Is there anything I can do. I know I need to take care of my problems first, but is there any other way I can try to make her realize that I am trying to work on myself? She stayed with me so long and told me that she was still around because she loved me and cared about me that much and I honestly believe that. To have her back as a good friend would be fine for me if I can't have a relationship. Any advice you guys can offer would be good. Thanks.

[miggsbucks]

UNDFTGIRISHWDW

 

can you please break up your posts into paragraphs, my eyes are hurting too much to read it anymore