idontknow98 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Me and my ex broke up around 4 months ago. She recently started texting me again and asking me if I would like to go to the movies, going on a walk, and taking me out for ice cream. I'm not sure what this is all about because it's so sudden. When we talk its just like old times, we joke around and laugh a lot but also talk about serious stuff every now and again, like her telling me whats going on in her life and what not. We still have laughs about stuff we did and said while we were still together. She doesn't seem to mind bringing up our relationship either. She also talks about her best friend and her ex working things out (I don't know maybe she is trying to hint at something). She tells me when she is free and that she likes going out with me. Should I take it slow and see how it goes from here or what? any advice would be appreciated.
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 No, she doesn't want you back. She has 'freind-zoned' you. THis is what's known as 'breadcrumbs'. (Read the No ContactGuide in my signature). She has turned you into a friend to relieve her guilt for breaking up with you. If you're happy just being a buddy, then the impact of the break, can't have been that bad, can it....? Friendship now is mainly for her benefit not yours. It's to make her feel better. Not you. If you're ok just being a friend now, carry on. If your heart is invested, and wants more, i suggest you back of and go No Contact. Others are going to have to deal with all your questions and objections. I have to go to work! 1
Author idontknow98 Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 No, she doesn't want you back. She has 'freind-zoned' you. THis is what's known as 'breadcrumbs'. (Read the No ContactGuide in my signature). She has turned you into a friend to relieve her guilt for breaking up with you. If you're happy just being a buddy, then the impact of the break, can't have been that bad, can it....? Friendship now is mainly for her benefit not yours. It's to make her feel better. Not you. If you're ok just being a friend now, carry on. If your heart is invested, and wants more, i suggest you back of and go No Contact. Others are going to have to deal with all your questions and objections. I have to go to work! I still want her back. I broke up with her and regret my decision terribly.
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Well in that case, if you want to do the 180, read the guide and see how to do it. Right now, she's getting her hopes up. Time to be clear and let her know where you stand. but don't either of you make the same mistakes you did last time. Otherwise this will just go the same way down the line. 1
Author idontknow98 Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Well in that case, if you want to do the 180, read the guide and see how to do it. Right now, she's getting her hopes up. Time to be clear and let her know where you stand. but don't either of you make the same mistakes you did last time. Otherwise this will just go the same way down the line. The 180? What guide?
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Ok, you don't read posts. You skim.... The No Contact Guide in my signature. the 180 is turning round and going back in the previous direction. here's what it says in the Guide: If they really want you back, then you have to listen out for the apology. The complete 180. "I'm really sorry for what I did. I don't know why I did it, but all I know, is that it was the most stupid thing I've ever done. I want to try again, and will do whatever it takes to make it up to you, prove I'm deadly serious, and regain your trust. Please, can you find it in your heart to try again?"
elle2012 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 well that makes freakin sense. state that nxt time. the fact u dumped her make much more sense. well obviously for her to be talking to u, she is still interested!! u better be clear about ur feelings and tell her soon because she wont wait for u all her life. and also get over urself, just becaus she is contacting u and inviting yiu into her life doesnt mean ur all that! she sounds like a pretty awesome chic, ud be lucky to have her. if u dumped her and now feel like its time to gt back together u better be righteous and stop playing with her feelings. u sound like u could be confused if u like her tell her, and see where it goes from there. but for real, u need to let her know straight up. grow up please and this time stop with ur nonsense. 1
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 elle2012, abbreviations are unnecessary and extremely irritating to many members. These aren't texts. They're posts. Please write words in full...And it's a multi-national site so some members may not comprehend abbreviations. It's in the guidelines, hun.... As a global community, it is important to recognize that not all participants are native speakers of English, nor are they all acquainted with colloquialisms popular in your particular area of the world. We expect that our community participants use language that not only reflects proper terminology...... Thank you so much.
Author idontknow98 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) well that makes freakin sense. state that nxt time. the fact u dumped her make much more sense. well obviously for her to be talking to u, she is still interested!! u better be clear about ur feelings and tell her soon because she wont wait for u all her life. and also get over urself, just becaus she is contacting u and inviting yiu into her life doesnt mean ur all that! she sounds like a pretty awesome chic, ud be lucky to have her. if u dumped her and now feel like its time to gt back together u better be righteous and stop playing with her feelings. u sound like u could be confused if u like her tell her, and see where it goes from there. but for real, u need to let her know straight up. grow up please and this time stop with ur nonsense. I'm not sure how to tell her because I'm still not sure how she feels. I've been trying my hardest to take hints and look at signs that she is waiting for me or something. Maybe we are both scared to ask each other. How would I go about telling her how I feel? And also I'm not sure if she's just 'friend-zoning' me... Edited June 9, 2013 by idontknow98
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Nobody ever leapt a ditch in two small steps. Sometimes, you just have to take your balls in both hands and take a leap of faith. Come right out with it: Ask her - "How would you feel about us taking a second shot at this? How about us improving our communication skills and having a bit of trust in one another to work on this together?" 1
Author idontknow98 Posted June 10, 2013 Author Posted June 10, 2013 Nobody ever leapt a ditch in two small steps. Sometimes, you just have to take your balls in both hands and take a leap of faith. Come right out with it: Ask her - "How would you feel about us taking a second shot at this? How about us improving our communication skills and having a bit of trust in one another to work on this together?" TaraMaiden, This has only been going on for a week. Should I wait longer before I ask her? I don't want to move too soon.
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2013 Posted June 10, 2013 If you dumped her, and she is making overtures, then as far as she's concerned, no time is too soon. Be tentative, but don't lead her on. If you want to try again - say so.
Author idontknow98 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 If you dumped her, and she is making overtures, then as far as she's concerned, no time is too soon. Be tentative, but don't lead her on. If you want to try again - say so. One problem. After the first time we started talking again, I asked her out but she said no because it was too soon. Soon after that we went back NC. Fast forward to a week ago she started talking to me again just like before. That is why I am hesitant to ask her for another shot again because I don't want to go through the same thing as I did the first time.
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Then just play it cool. Make suggestions for outings, evenings out, take her places, buy her little gifts. Woo her. Court her. Be a gentleman. Old-fashioned terms that still make hearts flutter, even in the 21st century.
totallylost5040 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Romance the crap out of her, make her feel special. Get your swag on.
Author idontknow98 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Then just play it cool. Make suggestions for outings, evenings out, take her places, buy her little gifts. Woo her. Court her. Be a gentleman. Old-fashioned terms that still make hearts flutter, even in the 21st century. We haven't talked in over a week. We were around each other today (because we had to) and she didn't say anything to me but I still caught her looking at me several times. Still not sure what's going on.
Author idontknow98 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) We haven't talked in over a week. We were around each other today (because we had to) and she didn't say anything to me but I still caught her looking at me several times. Still not sure what's going on. Edited June 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TaraMaiden Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 There's no point. One, you're repeating yourself, out of desperation, and two - we're not 'there' so it's almost impossible to comment. Look, are you really so helpless and indecisive that you need your hand holding every step of the way? YOU broke up with her - YOU work out an approach to get her back!! We've helped you quite a bit - but you've got to take the steps! Sometimes you have to finally take the bold steps. Even the hulk can't leap over buildings in 2 steps. If she's willing she'll say so. If she isn't - she'll say so. But don't be surprised if after all your hesitation she hasn't just friend-zoned you because she's got the impression you're not interested in rekindling anything. 'He who hesitates is lost', remember?
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