Kaiten Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My gf (of 7 months) and i broke up about 3 weeks ago. When she broke up with me she was extremely upset and when i asked why we were breaking up she said "Do i have to have a reason? Maybe this isnt what i want" As you can imagine my heart sank when she said that. She was upset with me and would barely reply to any of my attempts to contact her after she left. I decided to pull out all the stops and surprised her by leaving flowers in her room and wrote a pretty good letter of apology, asking if i could see her again. Apparently she loved it. She called me and told me we could hangout. I figured the ball was in her court so i wanted to see if maybe she would want to set up a date. She didnt. I guess she was busy? I then called and tried to talk with her and i asked if it was over and she said "I dont know, I think so" After doing all i did for her and getting that response i decided it was time i gave up. I didnt try to call, text, email, facebook, or anything. I just moved on. After a while of complete NC she eventually texted me "Hey! hope all is well! Just checking on ya!" ... Of course in my mind when i got that message I thought "Dafuq?" I didnt reply for a day becuase i didnt know what to think. When i replied i said After a week of NC her: "Hey! hope all is well! Just checking on ya!" me-- a full day later: "That was nice of you but you dont have to check on me." her: "I know i dont have to i was doing it because i wanted to" (This is my 1st serious break up, her 2nd) I decided to reinitiate contact and we talked about a week or so as friends. I pursued her again. I asked her on a date and she agreed to go when her schedule clears up this summer. I asked if we had a chance to get back together and she said "We'll see". We began talking a little bit and i tried to get back with her but she strongly pushed me away even though she said she still loves me and she misses me. I am getting a little confused. I asked her to just tell me if it was completely over and she said "Im not saying that. You can say it but im not". After a while i thought maybe if i begged she might come back. That didnt work either. Actually the more i pursue her the more defensive she gets and the more she ignores me. I think i have made things a lot worse since we broke up. I told her i didnt want to lose contact with her and grow apart and she agreed. I asked her if we could spend some time together soon and she said she wanted to but then cancelled saying "Not this weekend but itll happen soon". I got upset and it kinda hurt. It seems like im not a priority to her at all anymore. One thing she told me she hated was monosyllabic responses and now thats all i get from her. At this point i think its best that i just pull back. I dont know whether i should be patient with her or just move on. I told her that i was going to not be talking to her. I didnt give a time period. I just said i dont think we are working...goodbye...etc. She said she understands. Its like she doesnt care AT ALL. I told her i was done trying but if she wanted to get back together then lets talk. All she said was "ok". Our last time talking was today. And i have left it at that. Our relationship was great. Over the last 2 months we had a lot of minor arguments that we always settled. But she says that bothered her a lot. She said she doesnt like my smart mouth and i told her i would change. A lot of people tell me i have a smart mouth but in a laughing way. She doesnt like it, i guess. But I never cheated or was even tempted to, honestly. Her family loved me and we got along great. Im actually a good looking guy and have no problem attracting girls. I have a lot of charisma and self-esteem. I love this girl but i dont know if i should move on or what to do. She says she loves me but then acts like she doesnt care at all. What do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 You have to stop being her friend and start moving away. She needs to lose you. Either she fights to keep you or she doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kaiten Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 I have messed up and i know we had our minor arguments. I cant believe she wants to quit this after all we have done and said. I have shown her love in some creative and surprising ways. I cant believe this. Link to post Share on other sites
steveT95 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Hi, I am going through a fairly similar thing although it's over a shorter amount of time. Same basic story though. Step back, it's the hardest thing to do but trust me it makes her text and question what really is going on. With a bit of luck she'll stop playing games. And if she doesn't text back? Good. Clearly then she isn't interested and you don't want to be with someone who isn't interested in you. I know its much easier writing this than doing it as I am still trying but it really is your best option. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kaiten Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Steve, you are right it is hard. I am going to hang in there this time. I have kinda been suspecting her of playing games with me. If/when she does text me or tries to contact me, what should i do then? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwlSoul Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 If you want her back, move on. Exes return back usually when the dumpee is over. If there is no hope, still move on Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kaiten Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 I last talked to her yesterday. when i asked if she still cared she said "What does it matter? We arent together you're free to do what you want" I told her that i still cared and asked her again if she did and she said the same thing. Every time i talk to her she never says she wants it to be over but always tries to get me to move on. Why is that? As of today, i am initiating full NC 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwlSoul Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Every time i talk to her she never says she wants it to be over but always tries to get me to move on. Why is that? It's just her way to say it is over. From my experience, never ever ask how does the other person feel about you, unless it is the very beginning of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kaiten Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 I feel you OwlSoul. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kaiten Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 She told me she still loved me. I said i missed her and she said she missed me too. When we last talked i asked her about us maybe trying again in the future and she said "We'll see". Does she really feel we may have a shot or is she just trying to lessen the blow? I dont want to give up prematurely but if she already has then... Link to post Share on other sites
germain Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 You've got to step back a little and give her space. If she wants things to really work she has to be putting in the effort to see and communicate with you too. Otherwise I just wouldn't believe they were really interested in mending things but rather looking for attention. Stop begging her and asking her if she'll get back with you as you've shown that doesn't work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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