Sugarkane Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Considering the odds of actually getting back with an ex is so slim. Like someone said on here 0.005% or something? And 9/10 if there is a recon, it quickly falls apart. Link to post Share on other sites
BoredAgain Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Hah, I don't know where that percentage came from but I'm willing to bet whoever said that just completely made it up. I actually don't think reconciliations are that rare. Two of my friends are currently dating people they've reconciled with. In fact, ask a dozen couples that have been together for 10+ if they had ever broken up, and I'd be willing to bet that a good percentage will say 'yes.' Or ask yourself, would it bother you if your current BF/GF started hanging out alone with an Ex? If reconciliations are so rare, then why? ... I could go on, but you get the point. Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Sugarkane, don't look at it in such a depressing way. No reason. Second chances happen all the time,. the porblem with this forum is that many people leave these forums by the time they get a second chance and recognize it, don't bother to dwell around here anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 BoredAgain I get what you mean. Yet when anyone on here tries to "be friends" with the ex, they usually get friendzoned. Why is this? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 This section exists due to the fact that there are cases where both people grow up, address their issues, and find that they still want one another. Most second chances fail as only one person has done the growing... or both have and one decided that they would be better off not pursuing a relationship with their ex. From a financial standpoint this section is a goldmine. The more threads and posts here = more ad revenue for the owner. Seeing that "get your ex back" items also draw a ton of interest as many cling to the past rather than growing... it is only natural that this section be so active and such a money market. But when both parties grow and address their past issues, a second chance can work. Will it last forever? Who knows? But if both people have worked on themselves they at least give themselves a fair chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayerjay Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I'd say close to half the married couples I know have broken up at some point during their relationship. Pretty common to get back together. Granted, I'll give your point that a lot of reconciliations come back full circle and don't work out, but I think your numbers are greatly exaggerated. I do believe that most people who have a second chance don't need the support and are too occupied to come on here and post. You will sure hear from them again if their second chance fails though! Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I do so adore how random statistics are taken to heart or heard as gospel despite no accompanying proof. My folks split up and reconciled after a time. My brother and his wife separated and seriously considered divorce before reconciling and finding happiness again together. I have reconciled with past boyfriends. My current SO and I split up for a bit before coming back together. Friends have similar stories of starts and fits followed by smoother going the second time around. These stories, and many others, are why this forum exists. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 Well obviously I wasn't taking these stats to heart, but you get my drift. If getting back with an ex works so well and easy, then why does it hardly ever work for people on the breakup and coping forums? Link to post Share on other sites
BoredAgain Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Well obviously I wasn't taking these stats to heart, but you get my drift. If getting back with an ex works so well and easy, then why does it hardly ever work for people on the breakup and coping forums? Because most people don't generally stick around these forums for more than 3-6 months. Among the people that do, many are the types who are unable/unwilling to move forward with their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 Ate you insulting me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 Most people still don't get successful recon. And if they do it's only weeks/months and then they breakup again. Link to post Share on other sites
fallenenvy Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 OP you sound bitter I think that often when things do work out people don't get back on here to write about it...They are too preoccupied with their rekindled romance to come back on here and tell about it. On the flip side, when people are feeling hurt and alone (dumped for example) they come on here to get their feelings and thoughts out there and get some support and validation. Some are trying to move on but find it hard to so they continue to post and look for support.... So that being said if you look at these forums alone you are going to see more pain and breakups than reconciliations. Sure.. a lot do fall through after a short amount of time but im not going to say all or even most. My bf and i were split up for almost 3 years without so much as a word... we ended up back together.. will be 2 years this week. Happy endings and reconciliations are out there, but it depends on what broke people up in the first place. If the issues are not recognized and changed; then yes, it will fall through again; usually in a matter of weeks or months. If the issues are no longer there or at least addressed and compromised on, then i think theres always an excellent chance for round 2 to go better. Point is i don't think you can base any stats off only what people write on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 So why do most people get friendzoned on here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 I mean the only ex that has asked for me back, stood me up and then blamed me for everything and then verbally abused me by text. Could someone be more of an Ahole? So much for recons! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 I mean the only ex that has asked for me back, stood me up and then blamed me for everything and then verbally abused me by text. Could someone be more of an Ahole? So much for recons! Well it seems that you've had immature ex's who either did not take the time to properly heal, or did heal and realize that they do not want to try again. If both people heal and want to try, it is possible to make a successful attempt at trying again. But odds are that you wont get back with that person because there are billions of people on this planet. You know what you got with the last person and it failed, but someone else might be able to provide you with all that you need from a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I recon'd and this board helped me quite a bit, so... Yeah. Link to post Share on other sites
yzyzyz325 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 OP you sound bitter I think that often when things do work out people don't get back on here to write about it...They are too preoccupied with their rekindled romance to come back on here and tell about it. On the flip side, when people are feeling hurt and alone (dumped for example) they come on here to get their feelings and thoughts out there and get some support and validation. Some are trying to move on but find it hard to so they continue to post and look for support.... So that being said if you look at these forums alone you are going to see more pain and breakups than reconciliations. Sure.. a lot do fall through after a short amount of time but im not going to say all or even most. My bf and i were split up for almost 3 years without so much as a word... we ended up back together.. will be 2 years this week. Happy endings and reconciliations are out there, but it depends on what broke people up in the first place. If the issues are not recognized and changed; then yes, it will fall through again; usually in a matter of weeks or months. If the issues are no longer there or at least addressed and compromised on, then i think theres always an excellent chance for round 2 to go better. Point is i don't think you can base any stats off only what people write on this forum. oh, another sweet get back story Would you mind sharing more of your story, fallenenvy? How did you guys break up in the first place? What did you guys do in that 3 years apart? How did you guys get back tgt? Sorry, i am just so interested in those successful stories! Link to post Share on other sites
fallenenvy Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 oh, another sweet get back story Would you mind sharing more of your story, fallenenvy? How did you guys break up in the first place? What did you guys do in that 3 years apart? How did you guys get back tgt? Sorry, i am just so interested in those successful stories! How we broke up in the first place is a very very complicated scenario that i don't feel i can quite explain. It's easiest to say we were young (17) and he was stupid and there was another scheming deceitful woman involved who wasn't what she said she was (lied about her age.. marital status.. children etc) One day he was there.. the next he wasn't and i didn't hear from him again for 3 years. He moved in and stayed with her for those 3 years.... initially i lost myself in grief and spiraled outa control. I dated an abusive man for 7 months.. slept around.. failed outa college... you name it i did it pretty much. One day hed had enough packed his things and moved back home and away from her. It was at this time that he decided to contact me.. not to get back with me... but only to apologize for hurting me and dissapearing on me the way he did. It started as a blocked number phone call.. he'd somehow remembered my number after all that time.. all i heard was breathing when i answered.. i was creaped out.. hung up. A few days later.. he popped online.. and thats where it all started back up again. he got the courage to say to me in type what he couldn't mouth over the phone. Id always missed him and continued talking to him.. wanting to know about his life while he was away.... He was.. so different.. spirit broken.... not the same as i remembered... but i found myself falling for him all over again even though i knew i had never really moved on in the first place.. he asked for another try and i said no. I needed him to heal first.. to shake off what she'd done to him (yes she really was that evil and he really was that messed up) I watched as the life returned to him and he got himself back on his own 2 feet. We continued to see each other until finally he asked me again when i was ready to say yes lets give this another try. No longer is he that stupid selfish boy he was back when we split. Hes matured and his eyes don't wander. I'm content in my relationship. We celebrated 2 years together today.. since our recon. We moved in together about a year ago and things have been good. Will this last forever? Who knows.. i can't see the future.. but i believe i am happy that we got back together and i wouldn't ever change a thing. I hate to admit there was a period where we argued a bit.. i verbally beat up on him for what had happened to us before...i blamed him for all the bad things in my life (which wasn't necessary as he already blamed himself more) I'm not proud of how lousy i was to him during that time but we got past it. So yes.. happy recons do take place and theres my story:o Oh yes.. of course i'm no longer out of control. I got my college degree and have a stable job and living situation.....I also got older and no longer think and act like the silly teenager i was when this all began. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 Still don't agree with you people at all. I've always been the good gf, never cheated, never treated someone like garbage. So why have I only ever heard back from one ex? And even then he was full of BS. For all his nagging and begging [and you guys say we nag] he didn't even show up when we were supposed to meet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 So why haven't I heard from other exes? Link to post Share on other sites
Lis007 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 There needs to be a strong love and attraction for people to get back together... Only you really know why your relationships have broken down and why they cant be resurrected... Sometimes what will be will be but the truth is in the journey... Have you contacted your ex's? communication flows both ways for it to be effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 No I haven't contacted them coz I've either lost touch and they were the dumper so they should be doing the crawling. Or they completely played me and betrayed me when we brokeup. And all I got was verbal abuse and no answers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 The way I was treated by them really stopped me ever contacting them. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Still don't agree with you people at all. I've always been the good gf, never cheated, never treated someone like garbage. So why have I only ever heard back from one ex? And even then he was full of BS. For all his nagging and begging [and you guys say we nag] he didn't even show up when we were supposed to meet. Still sounds like you've picked immature boys who have a lot of growing to do. Work on your people picker and aim for someone who seems more well rooted. If you were treated poorly by these guys why in the world would you want them to contact you again? That's like choosing to go through further pain. Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Still don't agree with you people at all. I've always been the good gf, never cheated, never treated someone like garbage. So why have I only ever heard back from one ex? And even then he was full of BS. For all his nagging and begging [and you guys say we nag] he didn't even show up when we were supposed to meet. Because everyone is different and no one has a similar experience. You can't base what a person will do off percentile and others experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
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