Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Second Chances

Reconnecting with ex... how to ask him what's going on?

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 22nd September 2011, 9:41 AM   #1
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 367
Reconnecting with ex... how to ask him what's going on?

So for the past 2/3 months my ex and I have been talking/seeing eachother again (rarely, because it was summer and we were both always in different countries on holiday).
We are both back in the same country now.. the other night we were talking on skype for 3 hours on webcam just being really silly and talking.. last night we spoke again and I told him I would be going to his city at the weekend to see a friend.. and he suggested meeting up. (his city is 1 hour away from me, I go there quite often as we went to uni there and I have friends there- he's gone back to uni to do a masters and i'm now working in a different city)

For 2/3 months we've been talking/meeting up after 6 months of No contact..and its got to a point now where I just want to know whats going on with us. (He broke up with me and he reinitiated contact, and after 6 months once I had healed I responded to him)
We haven't had any arguments seen we've reconnected.. and we've been getting along great, when we meet up we've slept together though. Last time I saw him I asked him if this was just sex for him and he said no, that I mean more to him than that, that hes been having an amazing time with me and that we've been getting on better than ever, but to not have any expectations as he doesnt understand relationships

If he doesn't want me to have any expectations why does he still talk to me, and still ask me to meet up?

Should I ask him what is going on when I see him? Whether if he only sees me as a friend or something more? How can I say this without sounding needy/desperate? Or should I just not say anything.


Last edited by flow15; 22nd September 2011 at 9:44 AM..
flow15 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2011, 11:54 AM   #2
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 173
after reading your seemed like everything was going great for you in the area of reconciling. Until you mentioned one area....


for me being a guy, doing this would fall under 2 reasons:

1. I am very comfortable with you and the sex is great so why not go back to where i used to get it on a regular basis since it is freely being given to me (kind of a intentional/unintentional string along method to always have you as a safety net)(i do not ever condone this)

2. he does indeed enjoy being back with you and doesnt want to jump to fast into "titles" or "categories" for fear that things will end just as they did before

if i were you i would not have physical intimacy with him until things are further established as to wear things are going.

by doing this you will get to know each other even closer and if indeed they blossom into a relationship again, the physical intimacy will be that much more intense and enjoyable for the both of you.

as far as what you should say to him....i would try and bring things up casually about doing things together in the future - if hes receptive to that than he might just need time before being in a relationship again.

hope that helps!?
othersideofthepillow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd September 2011, 7:54 PM   #3
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 367
Thanks so much for the reply... it does indeed help to have a male opinion... I know the sex part is pretty bad and doesnt really help me see the situation clearly... ill try what u say and not sleep with him, and just see what happens..
flow15 is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
reconnecting with ex?! lillypolo Second Chances 3 23rd September 2011 10:01 PM
Reconnecting razin Dating 3 11th September 2011 5:52 PM
Reconnecting again? drjones5225 Second Chances 3 21st December 2010 12:29 AM
Reconnecting BobSacamento Dating 1 20th December 2010 3:17 AM
Reconnecting.... Guest The Other Man / Woman 2 30th November 2006 6:21 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:24 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.