Trying to keep NC but she wont leave me alone

[Tippytoes]

I have been broken up with my ex for 2 months now. I have a discussion with her on multiple occasions saying that I want to get back together. But her response is she just needs time before we work on things. So I told her that if she wants to be single than we cant talk. But she seems that every day she either texts me, likes my status on facebook, pokes me, or mantains some type pf contact.

 

How do I go about this, I want her back really bad but I dont want to just be her safety net while she goes out and is single.

 

I have been respoding only to direct text messages with 2 or 3 word answers being kind of cold. Should I just ignore them all together, go into an actual converastion, or just continue what Im doing..

[markyx1]

we have the same situation. the only difference is that my ex admitted to me that she is already seeing someone else just after the break, though at the time of the break up she said that she is not bent on dating anyone.

 

If such was the case, she might be after someone already. hate to tell you that part, but that could be the real score here.

 

i guess you just have to leave her alone at this point. don't beg and plead like what i did. that will do you no good.

 

NC might be a bit hard for now, maybe continue with limited contact as you are doing. and then make a graceful and gradual NC.

 

this is just a suggestion. of course, everything is up to you. i believe as long as you let her do what she wants and don't beg and plead, you well be okey.

[Frank13]

I have been respoding only to direct text messages with 2 or 3 word answers being kind of cold. Should I just ignore them all together, go into an actual converastion, or just continue what Im doing..

 

Go NC. Ignore everything unless she says she wants you back. You are nothing but a safety net. She dumps you but you are still there for her, letting her have her cake and eat it too. What next, she texts you and tells you how great it was screwing another guy? Then you will give a 2 or 3 word answer. She isn't going to miss you enough to come back if you keep answering her.

[Chi townD]

you need to take it a step farther, you need to de-friend her on Facebook. SHe chose to have you out of her life, that's EXACTLY what you need to give her. She ended it, you didn't. All you're doing is following through with her wishes.

[KathyM]

I have been broken up with my ex for 2 months now. I have a discussion with her on multiple occasions saying that I want to get back together. But her response is she just needs time before we work on things. So I told her that if she wants to be single than we cant talk. But she seems that every day she either texts me, likes my status on facebook, pokes me, or mantains some type pf contact.

 

How do I go about this, I want her back really bad but I dont want to just be her safety net while she goes out and is single.

 

I have been respoding only to direct text messages with 2 or 3 word answers being kind of cold. Should I just ignore them all together, go into an actual converastion, or just continue what Im doing..

I would suggest taking her calls, if you really want to get back together, but don't put your life on hold waiting for her to come back. Start dating others and getting involved in other activities on your own. Don't pressure her to get back together. You've made it clear that is what you want. Now it's time for her to see what she is missing out on. I think if she really doesn't want to lose you, it will bother her when she sees that you have moved on with your life and are having a great time on your own. It might compel her to want you back. In the meantime, you might find someone you like better. So it's a win/win. Move on with your life, start dating other people, but allow her to keep in contact. I know a lot of cases where people do get back together after a separation. Sometimes it takes a separation for people to really see what it is that they want. So keep the door open, but don't put your life on hold waiting for her to walk through it, because it may never happen.

[Tippytoes]

I had a day of weekness today. Last night at 4 in the morning I recieved text messages from her saying that she is sad and that she is sorry for what happened to us, and that she has been missing me a lot lately. I foolishly went to her house the morning and tried talking to her, but all I got was I do miss you and I am sorry but she does not know what she wants yet.

Im really getting fed up and am just gonna move on and if she happens to come back than she comes back.

I really want her back but I dont know what to say or do anymore. I have never been more frustrated in my life.

[betterdeal]

Delete her phone number, change your phone number and block her on Facebook. Have a real break.

[Tippytoes]

Your right and I understand completely, its just not easy when I am contacted I feel that is a chance for me to move back in, but I know I need to cut all contact until she actualy emails me or texts me that she wants to work on things. Any other form of her contacting me should just be ignored completely? But until then I have to somehow get the mind set that it we will never be together again and just try and let go of the hope of possible reconciliation. Its just not easy because its what I want more than anything.

[EgoJoe]

No matter what the situation is, until you and your partner (ex partner) or potential partner say hey I want to set egos aside and be in a deeply commited partnership. You're in the game. It happens in the power struggle stage and breakup etc. etc.

 

Do as betterdeal and chitownd say or embrace alot of pain and rejection. Once she gets "over you" by using you or finds someone else, those calls will stop. So, don't help her get over you.

[betterdeal]

Your right and I understand completely, its just not easy when I am contacted I feel that is a chance for me to move back in, but I know I need to cut all contact until she actualy emails me or texts me that she wants to work on things. Any other form of her contacting me should just be ignored completely? But until then I have to somehow get the mind set that it we will never be together again and just try and let go of the hope of possible reconciliation. Its just not easy because its what I want more than anything.

 

How can you POSSIBLY know what you'll want in 1, 3, 5, 15 years time? You don't. No-one does. What you want right now is to not be in the right now. Why? Because it sucks. Why? Because you've lost a loved one but she keeps reminding you of that by contacting you all the time. It's like hearing, "Here's what you didn't win!" day in, day out.

 

And YOU are the one replaying that bit of the game-show over and over. You do this by letting her call you, text you, email you, status update you. It's one punch in the face after another, with your own fist and her hand on your wrist.

 

You have broke up. It is over. No more. Gone. Finished. What you had is now past tense. What you have now is a choice: you keep punching yourself in the face or you stop it. You move on an recover, and therefore get a step closer to finding a relationship that lasts longer than this one and is more enjoyable than this one was, or you linger around the scene of the dead relationship for a bit longer.

 

NO MORE CONTACT.