pd8mxq Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I come to realise that if you really want the second chance to work out. You really need to give it time for the two of you. I am talking about months or years. Because I knew too many couples who got back together after weeks or one month ended up breaking up again. If you really cherish this person, and this person happens to give you another go, then you really should cherish the chance without making the same mistakes again. So you need months to work on yourself before you two can love NEW again. and with the hope and believe that it will last Link to post Share on other sites
nowwhatnow Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 hey, i also believe this. it has been almost 8 months for me and even though he dumped me, i have reached a stage where i am gonna ask to try again for a fresh start. i wont be seeing him for another month or so because i am away - but i truly feel i am ready. i just have no idea where his head is at because i have been NC for 7 months. it scares me a little. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) I come to realise that if you really want the second chance to work out. You really need to give it time for the two of you. I am talking about months or years. Because I knew too many couples who got back together after weeks or one month ended up breaking up again. If you really cherish this person, and this person happens to give you another go, then you really should cherish the chance without making the same mistakes again. So you need months to work on yourself before you two can love NEW again. and with the hope and believe that it will last It's not just about the time and space apart, it's what you do while you're single. Too many people want to just immediately get back with their exes, but why do they want that broken relationship back? A true reconciliation isn't a make up/break up/make up/booty call/break up/hot mess of a scenario. And yes, some second chances do work out. Just because it hasn't happened to me or most users here doesn't invalidate others' experiences where their reconciliation has worked out for keeps. H*ll, if I could ask my aunt and my uncle for details on how they managed to work theirs out (broke up, lived in separate countries, got back together, and are now married for 10+ years with a super awesome daughter!), I would but it's an awkward subject to try to bring up with her, especially since we don't talk about this stuff to each other now. I do know my aunt had a serious relationship with another guy before ending up with my uncle again and she was so in love with the other guy. She gave up so much to be with him. Almost caused a permanent rift between her and her dad. They broke up anyway and she got back with her ex. Her ex - who's now my uncle. Can't help but laugh when I remember that. Anyway, the point of the story is... it really is what you do with that time. Most of those people? They never waited around for their ex. They kept living their life. They stopped caring about whether they're going to get back together or not. And during the time they were apart, they were able to work through resentments, bitterness, their anger, and forgave. You want to grow during the time apart. Something was broken the first time around and whatever it was, you can't control the ex's part but you can control yours. And if the ex comes back around for a second try? You may even find that you're not on the same page as him/her anymore because of that growth and your changes. Step 1 on how to get your ex back: Let your ex go. Get out there, get living, heal, meet people, and if you meet someone new and you're ready, let yourself fall in love all over again. Edited May 10, 2011 by 0hpenelope Link to post Share on other sites
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