3 months after dumping me, he tells me he misses me and loves me, but doesn't want me

[flow15]

I posted here at the beginning of september completely heartbroken as my ex had broken up with me after being a year together. His reason for ending it was that we couldn't be together as we were too different.. I didn't believe we were so different as otherwise we wouldn't have been together for a year. I believe there are other reasons why he ended it, but I never found out.

 

I was devastated and heart broken, and when I came across this site I went NC, a month after NC he contacted me to see how I was we had a brief conversation and we went NC again. And then a month after that he contacted me again to see how I was again. By this time I was already seeing someone else and had him completely out of my mind, I didn't think about him as much and didn't get upset anymore. I had moved on.

 

This weekend he knew I was in town and he got in contact asking to meet up, but I told him I was too busy. I went out with my friends and saw his friend, his friend obviously told him where I was because an hour later he turned up.

HE looked really happy to see me when he turned up and he hugged me, and it was soo good to see him and all the memories came flooding back. I had blocked him out of my mind for the past 3 months and I didn't realise I still loved him and still cared about him.

 

He was pretty drunk as was I, and he told me he missed me and he started to cry! (the second time he has cried with me), he told me that he had dreams about me that he still loved me... He also kissed me and said he never felt this way about anyone. IT was so amazing, it felt like we had never broken up, the passion was still there, the chemistry.. the fire the connection between us was still there... But when I told him I had been seeing someone for a bit of fun (and mainly to take help me take my mind of him) he said it really hurt him.. and I told him but you broke up with me, did you expect me to stay single forever! and he said, if you had a boyfriend who cared about you and treated you right I'd b really happy for you. This is so confusing because how can he say he would be happy if i had a boyfriend, and then say he still loves me, and kisses me etc.

 

But he said don't take this the wrong way, I'm not hitting on you we can't be together, I don't want you back. I didn't want him to think I was desperate for him back or anything so I said I know we cant be together.

 

But I am left so confused now..... why did he tell me he loved me still, that he missed me, why did he kiss me, why did he cry.... and then tell me we can't be together.

 

I don't know if I want him back, but I do know that I miss him now and I want to hold him and kiss him like we were, the connection is still there. I just want to spend time with him, but don't want to get hurt again.

But I am so confused as to what he wants. He told me we can't be together, that he needs his freedom and wants to do what he wants when he wants.

But he obviously still has all these feelings for me.

 

I don't want to go chasing after him asking him what it is he wants. Cos I don't think he even knows, but I am left so confused now...

Edited November 21, 2010 by flow15

[coltsfan1]

you already answered your question in my opinion.. IF you're like me I ask the same questions over and over just to hear the same answer, I need the encouragement to move on. Your ex does still have feelings for you and you still have feelings for him. However you are confused more than likely because he doesn't know therefore you cannot either, you just need to spend time with the new guy and have fun. if your ex comes back you will have experienced life with him and without him so you can make the best decision you can..