My Ex just emailed me after many years

[StevenAR]

Hey. I know I can't read minds but I'm just curious...I used to date a guy-and there was a lot of passion between us and I don't know-things just ended badly. I don't know if he was seeing someone else and wanted to end things or if he just had issues-I just know he started distancing himself and things ended finally with a big argument and him saying he never wanted to see me again. I tried emailing and sending letters to ask why he just started treating me badly and ignoring me and never got a response. So eventually I gave up.

 

now, after 5 years (!!!!) he emails me and tells me he doesn't konw why he decided to write me-just that it's been a long time and he hasn't heard anything about me and would like to hear about me and that he hopes everything is ok.

 

I suppose I can respond and just say "hey, everything is great and hope you are well too". It's just weird to me. If i had done that to someone I would say "hey-I want to apologize for how i acted in the past..." but there was none of that-it's weird. I don't know what to make of it, although i have a tendency to overanalyze things.

 

i guess it could be that he's really just curious about me but he wasn't curious for the past half a decade so why now? But i don't want to email back and say "wtf? why r u emailing me now!" because i want to respond like a mature adult.

 

i won't lie-i am flattered to think that he's still interested (in any way), because of course it feels better thinking someone thinks nice thoughts of you instead of hates you for no reason.

 

I know him emailing after all this time doesn't mean he's necessarly interested in getting back together but there must be at least some level of concern or he would never have emailed.

 

any opinions or have others experienced this?

[Dexter Morgan]

I sure did. I caught and xgf, high school sweethearts, kept dating through college, in bed with another guy. Needless to say I left her immediately.

 

fast forward 4 years later, she used the death of a family member as an opportunity to write me a letter. she was now married, but in the letter told me she wished things were different and that she thinks about me often.

 

so what did I do? I sent the letter back to her, but addressed to her husband, and on a post-it note wrote, "tell your wife to leave me alone".

 

never heard from her again.

[Cantcope]

so what did I do? I sent the letter back to her, but addressed to her husband, and on a post-it note wrote, "tell your wife to leave me alone".

 

never heard from her again.

 

Ok....that's f*cking AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dexter Morgan]

Ok....that's f*cking AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

under another circumstance I might have just threw the letter in the trash immediately. But she used a painful time in my life as an excuse to write me that letter.

 

Wrong guy, and wrong day to be pissin' me off. I'd just love to have heard the conversation the night her husband opened that letter.

[StevenAR]

Hey. I know I can't read minds but I'm just curious...I used to date a guy-and there was a lot of passion between us and I don't know-things just ended badly. I don't know if he was seeing someone else and wanted to end things or if he just had issues-I just know he started distancing himself and things ended finally with a big argument and him saying he never wanted to see me again. I tried emailing and sending letters to ask why he just started treating me badly and ignoring me and never got a response. So eventually I gave up.

 

now, after 5 years (!!!!) he emails me and tells me he doesn't konw why he decided to write me-just that it's been a long time and he hasn't heard anything about me and would like to hear about me and that he hopes everything is ok.

 

I suppose I can respond and just say "hey, everything is great and hope you are well too". It's just weird to me. If i had done that to someone I would say "hey-I want to apologize for how i acted in the past..." but there was none of that-it's weird. I don't know what to make of it, although i have a tendency to overanalyze things.

 

i guess it could be that he's really just curious about me but he wasn't curious for the past half a decade so why now? But i don't want to email back and say "wtf? why r u emailing me now!" because i want to respond like a mature adult.

 

i won't lie-i am flattered to think that he's still interested (in any way), because of course it feels better thinking someone thinks nice thoughts of you instead of hates you for no reason.

 

I know him emailing after all this time doesn't mean he's necessarly interested in getting back together but there must be at least some level of concern or he would never have emailed.

 

any opinions or have others experienced this?

 

 

Well, I didn't really get any help/input from anyone so I waited a couple days and then emailed him back. He dumped me years ago and even though I sent many emails and letters asking why I never got a response.

 

So when he sent this email saying he didn't know why he was writing (not sure what that means) but he wanted to know how i was doing...part of me wanted to say "well, i'm still waiting for you to explain yourself" but if I did that then he would know that he still has some kind of power over me.

 

soooooo...I responded after waiting 2 days and just said "hey. I'm doing very well. thanks. I'm still working at X (company) and Y & Z (my sports/hobbies) keep me pretty busy. I hope you are doing well too".

 

I thought it was a nice way to take the high road & yet keep it short & sweet.Just hope I did the right thing! It's so strange to me. If I had dumped someone and then wanted to contact him six years later the 1st thing I'd say is "Hi-I know it's been a long time but I wanted to apologize for how I acted". Maybe he has too much pride. I don't know. People are so strange sometimes!

 

Now we'll see if he responds again...although I didn't give him much to respond to..only the "hi i'm fine thanks how are you?" at the beginning.

 

well, thanks for listening everyone. just been trying to wrap my head around this blast from the past.

[AlwaysConflicted]

He was having a moment of nostalgia and reached out to you. It doesn't necessarily mean anything other than he was thinking of you. That in itself is flattering; however it doesn't mean he wants to date you again.