Friends with Ex Girlfriend I still care about??

[getbackwithex]

Before you read this, I will come out and say that I do think about the possibility of a reunion now and again, but I stopped trying a long time ago and have moved on. It just got a little confusing recently and I'm hoping someone who is in a similar situation can shed some light on the matter, so here it goes.....

 

back story:

 

I broke up with this girl because I was seeing my life crumble because of some legal trouble I was in (DUI) I felt it wasn't fair to her to have to deal with it all being she just moved to the city and was meeting new people, having fun. She knew about the DUI before we got together, but then I messed up and thought I was headed to jail. I couldn't bring myself to tell her so I called it off instead, thinking it was only fair to her.

 

I saw her almost everyday because we worked together. I thought about her everyday, and it really helped me get through the depression I was in. Then 6 months later I found out jail was not going to happen, thank god, and that's when I lost it and spilled the beans, told her I loved her, everything. She of course had moved on and didn't feel the same way, but after a short time we started talking once in a while, but that turned into almost never since she left the company about 4 months ago and I didn't really think we would stay in touch.

 

Currently:

 

A few days ago after a couple months of not seeing/talking to each other, I saw her at my friends parents house (they love her) and we talked for over an hour. Usually they are short and sweet, like 15 minutes to quickly catch up and tell each other how great our lives are, nothing too personal. But this time she started telling me she was in a funk, falling into a routine and not really going out much and not sure what was going on with her life. I got confused because I know she has been dating a guy (A guy I also work with) on/off again for a few months that she really likes. She never mentioned him to me, but I heard about it a while back and was happy for her.

 

But this last meeting was different. It was her venting, telling me what is really going on with her life right now, not the casual conversations we normally have. Nothing came up about the new guy, which I feel is her needing someone to vent too and she didn't want to do this with the current love interest for obvious reasons.

 

I know she is not interested in me romantically, but why did she chose me to be the one to vent too? Why now? I mean, we aren't really "friends" so why tell this stuff to me? Why not one of her close friends? We have mutual friends and we are bound to run into each other once in a while, but I wasn't prepared for the conversation to get as personal as it did.

 

Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated....Thanks everyone.

[LovesHangover]

Hi G,Meditate. Do some soul searching. Figure out what you really want for your life and if you want her in it. Why do you object to being friends? What is in your way about having an insightfully straight conversation with yourself and her. You do not need advice as much as you need to authentically express yourself and your feelings and maturely deal with outcome. Be intentional and clear. You care about her that will resonate with her and your being honest will give you the comfort of being known and understood. Give her the same thing and she appreciate being known and understood as well.-LovesHangover

[boogieboy]

You cant be friends with her since you still have feelings for her. Its going to torture you.

 

She is venting to you because you are letting her. Plus she doesnt see you as anything romantically which is why shes venting to you. She wouldnt tell her problems to someone she is interested in.

 

Theres nothing in this for you. Forget about her.

[Thaddeus]

Classic emotional tampon behavior. (No offence intended.)

 

Boogieboy is right. There are too many unrequited feelings in the background here to truly remain friends.