angello Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 (edited) My ex of 15 months broke up with me about 6 weeks ago, said her feelings for me weren't as strong as mine for her, and she interpreted this as a warning sign that I wasn't right for her. We're at different universities so it's been a long-distance thing for parts of the year. We didn't have any contact after the break-up until a few weeks ago, cos we were both back for Christmas and have the same friends at home, so I can't really avoid her... Anyway, to keep it as brief as possible... I bumped into her in a bar the other night, she asked if we could be friends, and I declined. This upset her. She then saw some other girl trying it on with me on the dancefloor and she went absolutely crazy, screaming at me (!!) and saying the thought of me with anyone else makes her sick. We left the place to have a talk, I couldn't understand why she was so bothered about what happened - SHE dumped ME! In a bizarre twist of emotions, in the taxi home she started kissing me and saying she wanted to have sex (we were both quite drunk at this point). So, the next day we met up for lunch to straighten things out. At first she said she just wanted to be friends, but eventually she admitted that actually she does often think about getting back with me but is worried she'll just change her mind again and mess me around even further. Fair enough. Of course I really wanted to press for a reconciliation here but instead I told her it probably wouldn't be a good idea because whatever problems pulled us apart are probably still lingering. I also told her I don't think I can do the friend thing so we probably shouldn't stay in touch, at least for a while. She was upset, but eventually agreed to "time apart". There was a bit more kissing in the car (sober this time!) but we decided it was a bad idea and I drove her home. Anyway, she's now told me on MSN that she "doesn't think she can handle not talking to me"! I don't know what to say, really. I just want this girl to see sense and realise that I'm right for her, but she's not confident enough in her feelings to give things another go. At first I thought the break-up was about a loss of "spark", but she does seem to have SOME feelings for me, what with all the emotional outburts and sexual advances etc.! Should I just stand firm on the 'no contact' thing? Or should I stay in touch and try and build on the feelings (however small) that she seems to still have for me? On one hand, the romance doesn't seem to be completely dead yet and I'm worried NC could kill it. On the other hand, I really don't want to stay in contact if it's gonna result in me being 'friendzoned'. I just want to do whatever has the biggest chance of increasing her attraction and desire for me - any ideas? Edited January 2, 2008 by angello typo in title Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Go LC since you both are at different universities. Finish your studies. Yes NC can kill the chemistry. Sometimes LC works better than NC. It is not like you two see each other all the time. Some time apart during the day maybe good for both of you. You two catch up later in the week, keep your options open. You are both young. Link to post Share on other sites
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