Savannah1 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Long story short.. I met a man who was going through a divorce, we were together for 4 years. He finally got divorced...it was long and drawn out. We had a great relationship...never argued...(we were both burnt out from arguing with our exe's) , we did things together. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple! Apparentley he didn't. He had OW before he met me and he was seeing her the entire time he was seeing me. She was a family 'friend'. I went ballastic, a side of me he had never seen before, I was told he was absolutley in a full blown panic attack after I was finished with him...he had never seen me mad, he did and he ran and hid. I called the OW and told her to get tested for STD's, she was hostile towards me, (not that I care one way or the other because by this time I had thoughts that he may have been having one night stands, I know I went to my Gyno that day!) Anyway, after I called OW, I called him and told h im to expect a call from OW because I had called her...I don't think he believed me. ANYWAY, he called a left me a VM to please not call him anymore. That he was messed up in the head, he thought maybe he needed meds, he just knew he wasn't right and he couldn't believe he hurt me the way he did. (I had asked to please be honest with me if he had someone else during his divorce process and he swore and promised me didn't and didn't want anyone else other than me, all the men in my life have been users, losers and abusers, HE couldn't understand WHY I wasn't married or at least had a boyfriend until he came along) I thought he was a nice guy, he was the LEADER of users, losers and abusers, He was a MONSTER, what a fantastic false front he had put up. His message said he didn't want ANYONE in his life, he was going to 'get lost' and find himself, this was several months ago, (I did call him back and left VM that as long as people kept coming to me telling me crap about him and her that I would fire down on him twice as hard and he would not know when or where anything would happen. I think that flipped him out even more. Now several months down the road, he has been alone, he has had time to get his head together, I was told he's still a little shaky(I told the person I didn't want to hear one word about that so and so) He's asking about me. He wants to know how I am. He is to afraid to call me or contact me but he wants to talk to me. He wants me back. Since this has been months ago, 10 months, the big question is... Would you talk to him, would you want to re-start a relationship with him? would you want to start very very slowly, start dating, etc? The OW is totally out of the picture now. Your thoughts. Savannah1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 In one word. No. I would not give him the time of day. He didn't come good when it mattered and he cheated on you. When it came right down to it, he put himself first. That is not going to change. He's asking about you and such because he knows how you felt about him. Cut him out of your life and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 NO Why would you want to be with this loser again? really? Link to post Share on other sites
Shades of Grey Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 No No No. People make mistakes and can change hon but imo not to that extent. He led a completely double life and betrayed you in the worst possible way. You deserve so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 Long story short.. I met a man who was going through a divorce, we were together for 4 years. He finally got divorced...it was long and drawn out. We had a great relationship...never argued...(we were both burnt out from arguing with our exe's) , we did things together. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple! Apparentley he didn't. He had OW before he met me and he was seeing her the entire time he was seeing me. She was a family 'friend'. I went ballastic, a side of me he had never seen before, I was told he was absolutley in a full blown panic attack after I was finished with him...he had never seen me mad, he did and he ran and hid. I called the OW and told her to get tested for STD's, she was hostile towards me, (not that I care one way or the other because by this time I had thoughts that he may have been having one night stands, I know I went to my Gyno that day!) Anyway, after I called OW, I called him and told h im to expect a call from OW because I had called her...I don't think he believed me. ANYWAY, he called a left me a VM to please not call him anymore. That he was messed up in the head, he thought maybe he needed meds, he just knew he wasn't right and he couldn't believe he hurt me the way he did. (I had asked to please be honest with me if he had someone else during his divorce process and he swore and promised me didn't and didn't want anyone else other than me, all the men in my life have been users, losers and abusers, HE couldn't understand WHY I wasn't married or at least had a boyfriend until he came along) I thought he was a nice guy, he was the LEADER of users, losers and abusers, He was a MONSTER, what a fantastic false front he had put up. His message said he didn't want ANYONE in his life, he was going to 'get lost' and find himself, this was several months ago, (I did call him back and left VM that as long as people kept coming to me telling me crap about him and her that I would fire down on him twice as hard and he would not know when or where anything would happen. I think that flipped him out even more. Now several months down the road, he has been alone, he has had time to get his head together, I was told he's still a little shaky(I told the person I didn't want to hear one word about that so and so) He's asking about me. He wants to know how I am. He is to afraid to call me or contact me but he wants to talk to me. He wants me back. Since this has been months ago, 10 months, the big question is... Would you talk to him, would you want to re-start a relationship with him? would you want to start very very slowly, start dating, etc? The OW is totally out of the picture now. Your thoughts. Savannah1 You may find this has something to do with his ex, and maybe is not ready to let go of her just yet. I was in the same situation. Its a horrible thing, but sometimes people will just latch on b/c they need some1 to carry there emotions while going through something like a divorce. I would never recomend that any1 get involved with any1 that is still married or only just divorced, as they are not ready, as much as they say this or that. His head is messed up over the ex wife. I really belive this. Dont get me wrong he loved you, but you were really just an emotional support for him while going through this. I may be compleatly wrong here, and he may also after a few weeks or months come to his sences. Please forgive me for sounding hard, but i have been where you are, and you get left feeling rejected and hurt. Dont be, you did your best, and so did he. The very best thing you can do is let him go, he does need to find himself, and is doing the right thing for himself. If you let him go, you will help him and you, and if he comes back as a friend or whatever then its up to you to decied if you want that. Sometimes silence says more than words about a situation. - just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 I thought he was a nice guy, he was the LEADER of users, losers and abusers, He was a MONSTER, what a fantastic false front he had put up Would you talk to him, would you want to re-start a relationship with him? would you want to start very very slowly, start dating, etc? Come on.. Is your head on straight? What has he done to get his head on straight? Counseling or perhaps a support group? Doubt it. If you want to be hurt, live in drama or in alot of insecurity then sure go with him. If you want to live a happy life stay away from men like him. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 I agree... COME ON. Find some self worth then ask again if you should contact him. Link to post Share on other sites
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