4peace Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I want to know when is a good time to make contact if ever? When we spend time with someone even after dating only a short time, 8 months, when is a good time to make contact? If we spend time with someone and end it, bad or good, NC has helped put that into perspective for me, but when is a good time to make contact. To save you all from the details of my saga, it was on valentine's day this year, when it all went down. It wasn't kind or pretty. He basically exploded and well, I have moved on but I still wonder about him and his kid. A LOT!! Not wanting him back but never forgeting about them one day. Okay, what is a good bet that things have progressed beyond any reconciliation and no hope that we would be trying anything, but being friends. We haven't talked since a few days after V-day 07. He was accusing me of things then that I am putting inorder now, THAT doesn't really matter, what does matter is I was close to this guy but we aren't now. How horrible that we dismiss people in our lives that we actually considered marrying. Was I just delussional with myself about being with someone who couldn't communicate well enough to understand what we had? (he was younger and seemingly still learning several things) It sounds like I am still pining for him but I am not, in fact, I'm dating two people now, one LDR and the other near by. Guess I am feeling stronger to approach things as an adult and not immaturely, only to say ,"hey, we were close before and maybe we weren't meant to be lovers but how about friends? In the past, I've always kept up with ex's who could turn the page. But it seem to happen if I make contact or on a fluke where we run into each other, years later or something like that. Anyway, what do you guys or girls think? 4peace Link to post Share on other sites
pantheralum93 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Hi 4peace. I don't know when a good time is to make contact with an ex. I guess since your the one that did the breaking up there is no right or wrong time. It's been a few months so it's probably appropiate, but be careful as he might think you are trying to get back with him and if he has any hope of that you could end up hurting both of you. I am not saying don't do it..just be careful would be my advice. Sounds like your a mature adult and you have genuine care for this person. No harm in that. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
joriel Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I don't mean for this to come off harshly but outside of extreme circumstances (your ex is ill or experiencing some other hardship) there really is no time for you to make contact with your ex. Unfortunately IMHO one of the rights the dumper gives up upon choosing to end the relationship is the right to decide when NC should end. It's great that you genuinely care for your ex but sometimes caring manifests itself as letting the other person "take the lead". This is one of those times. As an aside, you might further consider why you have now decided to contact your ex. It might just be me but the fact that you're currently dating not one but two people might be influencing your thought process right now. Besides, your ex is most certainly not going to want to hear about your abundance of dates. That's just my opinion though. Link to post Share on other sites
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