He'll be back tom and I'm freaking out

[datingmum]

Guys,

 

Some of you may have read my post 'stop me before I do something stupid', so I will not go into the whole long-winded story again.

 

But my (ex)fiance of 1 week will be back in town tomorrow - he's been at his father's 60th birthday. I know he'll try to come here and see me. He will show up on his lunch hour or something.

 

What do I do? I can avoid phone calls, but I am only human!

 

I have a few questions about the whole no contact strategy in my situation.

 

If he decides he wants to 'talk' over the situation, should I listen? My friends think I'm insane to hope that he'll just show up and propose to me again. Sometimes, at night, I think maybe he'll drive up and serenade me as seen in cheesy 80's flicks. Other times, I'm so f*cking angry that he's left us in this position, I want to hurt him. I know that people will say 'then you both need time and space to find out about what you want' but the practical realities dictate that I come up with some sort of plan.

 

If he shows up - knocks on my window and sees me, should I just not answer the door. Last time, I made him speak to me on the doorstep until he said 'it's raining, can I come in?'

 

When instituting no contact, for either the purposes of healing and moving on or for serious introspection regarding future reconciliation, how do people know if the other person has grown or changed their mind?

 

I guess he'll just hunt me down if he wants it bad enough. I'm just rabbitting on here, I know, but I can't sleep and I'm so confused...still. All the girlfriend sleepovers, bottles of pinot grigio, relationship books, breakup forums, and still, I'm wanting our dreams to come true.

 

 

Am I in some stage of grief, like denial or bargaining or something?

 

I'm fairly certain he'll be back again, but what do i do? I'm really starting to lose my cool (NOT my nerve) and not a single one of my friends can offer any advice. SEe, they have different perspective here in England, for the large part. Some of my mates went for 16 years before they married. (??!?!?!!) They think my American attitude, my 'agenda' as it's fondly termed is what has caused this guy to run. But that is such utter bs.

 

So guys, please help if you can.

 

Thanks for listening.