drums4life06 Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 So this is kinda long, but ill try to shorten it as much as possible. long story short, i found out i still have very very strong feelings for an ex. we dated for 2 and 1/2 years straight when we broke up in july about 2 years ago. i moved on, she moved on and we're both in serious relationships now. ive been dating my current girlfriend for about a year and a half and shes been dating her boyfriend a little longer. our friendship was on the rough side because of how i took the break up, but we were able to patch things up and become good friends again, only for me to run my mouth and ruin it again. so the majority of bad things between us happen because of me, and i realize it, dont get me wrong, i do and i feel horrible. the odd thing is, from the time i started dating my current girlfriend, until now, i had no issues with falling for my ex, regardless of how much we talked or hung out. recently though, this past saturday, me, her, and a few more of our friends all went to an amusement park for the day. it happened to be the same place that my ex and i went together on a school function trip when we had first started dating. so of course memories start rushing back to me and the next day i found out that i had feelings for her again equivalent to mabey right before we broke up, which were pretty strong if you ask me. the only problem is, im almost positive she has no interest in me whatsoever, which hurts in a way but i guess is a good thing. theres just this part of me that wishes i could get a second chance with her, ive changed so much becaused i realized all of my flaws and everything i did wrong the first time in our relationship and i just wish she could see that. i just dont know what to do. should i tell her my feelings? should i stop talking to her? do i just deal with it? someone please help. sorry if this confuses anyone, ill try to clarify if you have a problem understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Icantletgo Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 The situation is really messed up. Think about your current girlfriend. Stop thinking about what if this..or what if that. If you are not happy with your current girlfriend or if you think you want your ex back, you have to break things off with your current. It is not fair to her. As someone who's gotten cheated on...your post is severely irritating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author drums4life06 Posted April 28, 2007 Author Share Posted April 28, 2007 you obviously didnt understand i never said i was gonna cheat on her, im not that kind of person, before i would get involved in ANYTHING with another girl id be sure to break things off first. ive been cheated on too, it aint pretty. and its not that im not happy with my current relationship either. all i said is i hung out with my ex one night with friends, realized i still had feelings and what i should do. i know there has to be someone whos been in a similar situation, and i just wanna know how they handeled it Link to post Share on other sites
loveratud Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Don't break things off with your current girlfriend to go back with your ex. It's simple logic: why would you give up on something that works in order to take a second shot at something that doesn't? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 It is obvious that your ex still has control over your feelings. She broke up with you two years ago and, unfortunately, you have remained friends with her. If you were to get back with her she would only be in the driver's seat the whole time. The others are right. Please appreciate the one that you are with now. She did not leave you as your other girlfriend did. My advice is to stop all contact with your ex and concentrate on your new girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
littlebopeep Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Don't break things off with your current girlfriend to go back with your ex. It's simple logic: why would you give up on something that works in order to take a second shot at something that doesn't? Hmmm.I agree in 1 sense but if hes even thinking of his ex while hes with some1 else then hes not 100%commited to his present girlfriend.I would hate to be with some1 thinking im happy but for them to be thinking at all about their ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Hmmm.I agree in 1 sense but if hes even thinking of his ex while hes with some1 else then hes not 100%commited to his present girlfriend.I would hate to be with some1 thinking im happy but for them to be thinking at all about their ex. I agree..its not fair to her.. Link to post Share on other sites
loveratud Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Hmmm.I agree in 1 sense but if hes even thinking of his ex while hes with some1 else then hes not 100%commited to his present girlfriend.I would hate to be with some1 thinking im happy but for them to be thinking at all about their ex. Gah, that's the kind of ridiculous logic only a woman can come up with. People think about their ex's. They were important people in their lives. I think about my dead uncle sometimes. He's gone, never coming back, but I still think about him now and again. If you're with someone, and you're happy, that's what matters. Maybe they're thinking about their ex, maybe they're not, but if they're making you happy, they're doing their job in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Loveratud, You are right when the thoughts of your ex don't cause you an emotional distress or anxiety, then so be it as it happens. But in this case the poster is honest enough to say that it is affecting his day to day life. Get real.....it definitely shows he is not 100% committed to his new girl. Totally unfair not to just her, but to both of them. Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Hi Drums, It sounds like staying friends with the ex prevented some sort of real moving on, though I'm sure you didn't realize that until now. Don't beat yourself up, because it doesn't sound like this was intentional. I understand that you were blindsided with the feelings and that it's awful and upsetting. Just learn from it. You know in your head, if not your heart, that it's over and you've both moved on. Just take the experience of longing for what it is; unfinished business of the heart that you didn't realize was unfinished. It takes a long time to give up hope, though we often don't realize it until something like what happened at the amusement park happens. For now, maybe it's best to stay away from your ex. I don't think it's worth sabatoging your new relationship by taking these feelings too seriously; there is room for both. Loves can sometimes overlap, despite what others have posted here. Love and life is not really linear in my opinion. If I had a lover who suddenly and unexpectedly had the feelings for his ex, I'd probably feel a little hurt, but I'd be philosophical about it... life is messy, but not unmanagably so. Don't know if I'm making any sense! Link to post Share on other sites
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