JerryG Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Hello again, This actually my second time posting. I'm really glad I found this forum. Ok, I will try to keep this short. Basically, there was this girl that I was friends with, we both (around last summer) admitted we had feelings for each other, but she said she just got out of a relationship and wanted to be friends first. For the complete long back story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t111260/ Since the "rejection" (in Feb) I handled myself well. Didn't cry, beg, plead, yell at her or anything. We took a two week break from each other with no contact, and since we've hung out in groups of friends and each time we've done this, I've been fun, laughing and confident and she's taken notice of this. Also, I did "move-on" and have started to become closer with a girl I have classes with. I"m not sure if it will progress into a relationship, and I am more guarded about developing strong feelings for her until I know they will be reciprocated, but we shall see. I"ve been more busy with school and other things lately, and so I've become less avaliable for my friend. Also, I think word (as well as pictures on facebook w/ this girl) has gotten to her that I have moved on. There have been two weird episodes. On St Patty's day, my friend got really drunk and blacked out out-of-town and made out with a random guy at a club (a pic was posted on facebook) That night, I recieved a drunk dial from her but we couldn't hear each other cause she was in a club. I've noticed lately that she was been much more upbeat about trying to see me, and flirting with me more (winking, touching etc). She is a flirty person to begin with, so I just kind of blow off, but still. I don't give her as much attention as I did before, have become more detached, and I can tell she's trying to get it. This past thursday we were at a club. She was vying for my attention all night, like winking at me when we finally made eye contact and such. Around 2:20 me and my two close friends wanted to leave, while this girl was upstairs with another friend of hers dancing and talking to random people. When my friend told her we were leaving, she said she wanted to but her other friend was really into a guy and she was staying at her house so she couldn't. I didn't end up saying bye to her (forgot too) and just left. I then recieved a text at 3 saying "Heading to Kat's house. you guys ok?" She was obviously drunk. In retrospect, I know she might be unnerved that I've moved on (yet still remained friends with her). She is young 22, and just got out a LTR last june (and is some-what commitment phobic). I get the feeling she just wants to get out there and meet different people and not commit to anything. This is fine, I want whats best for her, but why then does it seems she's being real flirty again? I still sometimes experience anger over what happened, cause I feel she was sub-consciously using the attention/affection I was showing her last fall to make herself feel better after her LTR ended, and when she had no intention of being ready for me. Hopefully I have painted a picture of her as a bad person, she's not, she's quite nice. Thanks in advance for your thoughts?? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I can't comment on what she is thinking or feeling because well, I am not her (or a girl for that matter). All I can tell you is that the more you stay true to yourself and move on with your life, the more it's going to bug her. That's not to say she will come back to you, but don't stop your life and wait for her. For every one woman that turns you down there are literally hundreds more that would go out with you. You just haven't met them yet. I like what you're doing though. Wanted to comment on that. Be confident, secure, happy and fun all the time. Nothing says "come talk to me" like a happy smile. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 forget this girl shes good for nothing but a one night stand you cant trust her emotions over the long term and it would be a real headache to always worry about losing her. How old r u? just go after other girls and dont make the same mistakes you did last time you see that initial spark throw yourself into it women love passion and usualy dont reward the slow and steady thinker how doesnt rush into things. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 you seem to be evaluating the situation pretty well yourself. I can agree with you often there are girls that upon getting out of a LTR, wind up just wanting to stay single and have fun or test the waters with other guys before jumping into another relationship so soon. Wouldnt be surprised if your friend was commitment phobe for the reasons stated. so yea just have fun and live your life as she is living hers. If something's going to happen down the line with you and her i wouldnt be surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
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