chickenleggs13 Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 I was dumped about 8 months ago now and the great people on this site helped me no end to get through it. I have been getting back on my feet recently and was just starting to forget her. By the way she left me for her married boss with 3 kids! I havent a clue how its going as i wont ask. The strange thing is she is always texting me and wanting to meet me for coffee. Then suddenly today i bump into her in mcdonalds whilst im having a coffee. She knew i ususally went in this certain mcdonalds near my home most mornings for a coffee and was waiting for me. She has just started a new job and has a new car and wanted to show it off to me, i think she wanted me to see how well she is doing for herself. Made me feel crap as there i was unshaven and scruffy fetching a coffee, whilst my business is really struggling to make it pay. Then she just asks how i am and i tell her im fine and am thinking of moving to cornwall. She talks to me patronisingly and says yes i think it would be good for you.I guess i still have feelings for her but im trying to move on. I never text her or offer to meet her but she is desperate to meet me all the time. I know what i should do i.e change my mobile number etc but still after all this time find it too hard. Why do you think she is keeping in contact with me? thanks for listening Link to post Share on other sites
bendit Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 She wants to feel superior. I think my ex does this but I stopped communicating with her. The real issue is what is in it for you? Obligation? What are you getting out of this? As I see all you get is PAIN. She is using you, draining your energy and using it to maker herself feel better. I would cut it off and rebuild man. She is doing you no good and it is keeping you mired in the mud. let go. You don't need that crap. Accepting contact from her is like intentionally hurting yourself. I hope you choose to not allow this any longer. regards Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 Why do you think she is keeping in contact with me? thanks for listening Ask yourself: if she was really over you, why would she want to stay in touch? So what's the hold you've got on her? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 Ask yourself: if she was really over you, why would she want to stay in touch? So what's the hold you've got on her? I dont think i have any hold on her, i never text her, phone her or meet her. The only thing i can think is all is not well with her married fella and she is not telling me. I guess he cant get away from the wife as much as she wants him too. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 I dont think i have any hold on her, i never text her, phone her or meet her. The only thing i can think is all is not well with her married fella and she is not telling me. I guess he cant get away from the wife as much as she wants him too. Hi I didn't mean that you are actively doing something when I asked what hold you've got on her. But for her there's obviously a reason why she won't leave you alone. In my experience when people move on, especially when they find new happiness with someone else, they don't engage in the kind of behaviour you have described. Yes, maybe she's not happy with the new man. If he's still with his wife, then she's basically just his bit on the side. That can't feel good, but would it be a reason to keep in touch with you? I don't know why she does what she does, but it's not normal behaviour. Maybe you can just ask her why next time she contacts you again? And maybe make it clear to her that you don't want anything to do with her anymore? Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Solachica Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I think she just wants to rub it into you how well she's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Why do you think she is keeping in contact with me? thanks for listening It's absolutely pointless trying to figure out why she is doing somethng. Look, unless this women comes to you and says 'I'm sorry. Forgive me. Can we start over?"...everything else is just plain B.S. And if it is B.S. why get yourself reimmersed in it? The only result of that is distraction from your road to recovery and endless hours trying to figure if her relationship is going well. Why concern yourself with that info? Make life easy for yourself and avoid mess. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 She's stringing you along as her back-up guy in case the thing with her boss doesn't work out. Let it go. You're far better off on your own than with someone who makes you feel like s*** all the time. And you'll be far, far better off when you're with someone who looks at you with a warm sparkle in her eye, and not a calculating glint. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Agree, I'd ask her outright, "Why do you keep getting in touch with me?" if she wants you back that will give her the opportunity to say something, if not, you catch her out, and tell her to sling her hook. I'm surprised you're not more pissed dude. She not only has the audacity to dump you coldly and without a care, she now wants you to see her doing "so well" too, man thats harsh! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 the only thing i can think is that we always used to go on hliday to Cornwall every year sometimes several times, she loved it there as do I. She is always texting me and asking me when im going again and that she missses it! Well i cant do anything about that, she made her choice , im moving on. I am nearly over her im 80% there now and it doesnt bother me so much now, it just got to me last week when i bumped into her. Im ok now, still think about her but i think she is in for a rough time with her new bloke reading between the lines when she texts me. I dont think she likes the fact i am moving on, in fact i find it quite amusing she cant leave me alone. She made her bed and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
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