What are the chances he'll come back?

[hmmansfield]

Long story short:

 

1) Met a wonderful man one year ago. He was divorced and a single father to a 13 year-old daughter.

 

a. He is ex-wife... they dated 7 years... fought for 6... married six months and she left him for another man.

 

b. he never married his daughter's mother... it was an accidential teenage pregnancy.

 

2) We fell IN LOVE. From the very beginning I was included in his family life... me and his daughter built a good relationship, we were happy, and his family loved me for Kevin. Everything was wonderful for 7 months and we were discussing getting married this summer or fall. Then:

 

3) His father died in early February. He was deadbeat that abandoned his family when my bf was 14. They hadn't seen each other in 7 years, but spoke on the phone regularly. When is father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the brought him here in December and he was gone by early February. My bf kept all his grief inside and through himself into launching a new company:

 

[COLOR=#800080]http://www.zeitgeistproductions.com[/COLOR]

 

4) When we met he had a high paying job that he hated. When we discussed our future, I did not want him to do a job he hated just because it paid well. I encouraged him to start his dream business. But what happened was unexpected... I knew there would be some nighttime working, but it has turned into 5-6 nights a week. He's flat broke and now bartends Friday and Saturday night to make a quick $400 to keep his daughter clothed, food on the table, and a roof over their heads. Our schedules became opposite... we saw less and less of each other and started to grow apart and bicker.

 

5) The bickering freaked him out because it reminded him of his last miserable relationship/marriage. He started to get fearful about marrying me... and distancing himself. I sensed it and started pressuring. I had told him from day one "I am getting older and want to be a mother." Are you ready for that? Yes, yes, yes... let's go for it! So, when he started distancing, I got scared... but also pressured because I had to know. I am 35... I can't waste time.

 

6) We broke up on Monday. He's just completely overwhelemed by this business, getting his daughter through the next five years, broke, and living in a construction zone. His fears about failing in marriage again surfaced... because he knew I didn't really want to marry a man that worked in the bars at night (I was raised by a single parent bartender). He wanted to stay together, but he couldn't commit to marriage anytime soon (maybe in two years). I know myself and being a mother is too important to risk losing my fertility waiting for a "what if". So, I said I have leave you and move on with my plan to be a single mother by choice. I love you and if I was younger, I could give you the time, but this is too important to me. I told him I am going to take 3 months to get over him... and then start looking for a donor. If he changes his mind, he can come back. In the meantime, I have cut off all contact.

 

With all his divorce baggage, a teenage daughter that wants him all to herself (I grew to really care about her), a new business that requires him to work nights for at least the next six months, any chance at all that if he has time to get his life in order, that he would come back? Any of you been in this situation? Broke up over she wants to marry, he doesn't... so she leaves... and miraculously he comes back to marry her?