No Concept Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 So the other day I was talking to some friends from work. My ex works with me and it's been hard getting over her because of it. But I've been doing pretty good, going out, talking to friends. Well while I was talking my co-worker she mentioned something about her, my ex and her date are going out this week. Then she stopped and looked at me and said "You did know she was dating someone else?" I told her no and I was kind of shocked since it's only been a month since our break up. The thing was even though I was shocked and hurt it wasn't that bad. I was sad but not crushed like I was when the relationship ended. I've been exercising more and running alot to better myself. After running and thinking about alot of things I feel alot better and realize what areas in my life I can better myself. I will be buying a new car very soon and trying to switch jobs from where I work at another branch. I don't think it's healthy for me to be talking to her at work. I do smile and laugh with her but it just reminds me how much I miss her. And it's hard to do NC when I want to pick up the phone and call her but I haven't. So hopefully once I enroll myself back into school and find myself again I'll be locked and cocked and ready to go Link to post Share on other sites
UT_longhorn Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 No Concept, I heard that my ex was seeing someone about a week and a half ago. In retrosect, it was the best thing to happen to me. It made me realize how stupid I have been pining for her. For some reason after that day, my recovery rate has been exponential. It just made me realize, shes completely moving on while I'm in the hole of unrequited love. Something ust clicked. I hope that this is the case for you and hope you a speedy recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No Concept Posted May 3, 2006 Author Share Posted May 3, 2006 Definately. When I heard that I realized it was sort of like "The last Nail in the Coffin" for me. It hurts bit more because I work with her like very close quarters at a library but I've learned to get into my work and ignore it. I'm pleasant to her when we're around each other but yeah that's the gib of it. I've decided to move on and get my life back together. I've sacrificed too much for this relationship that now I have to pick up the pieces. Either way it'll give me something to be pre-occupied over for a couple of months. Link to post Share on other sites
malcontent Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 My ex was seeing a new guy a week after we broke up. She had been laying the groundwork for months prior to the actual break up, however. I think it definitely made the experience more painful, but it also made it so that we both could move on. Seeing her with the new guy is still something that makes me uncomfortable, but the situation is improving. Like you, I've also been exercising a lot and I can't imagine there's a healthier way to cope with something like this. Sure, I'm still introspective about things and I want to understand more about myself, but my primary concern right now is my physical well-being. I feel like a lot of my emotional strength comes from there anyway, so I'm aiming to get that house in order first. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 Well when I heard about my ex dating some one else a week in to our break up, I was indenial I laughed, but walking over there told the truth and that made the experience 10 x more painful than it had to been, I wish to never experience pain like that again but no concept you seem like your pulling through really good with exercising and all, and switching jobs would be a great idea! you do not need to be around your ex right now Link to post Share on other sites
Spitkicker Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I'm part of the club as well... My ex started dating someone new after a month of us being seperated... It hurt SOOO MUCH.. I just can't take it sometimes, but what else can I do yah know? Doesn't it just make you realize how guarded your heart should be the next time around? I wonder how many more of us have had their ex move on pretty fast after the break up? Link to post Share on other sites
2020vision Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I had to deal with almost the same thing. A month after our breakup, I ran into his mom and she informed me that he was with someone. It hurt like hell (and to this date, it still hurts to think about it, although less, it still hurts) however, it helped me diminish all hope that we would get back together. So I could start focusing on my life. Then I found out they moved in together, that one stung for a while. No Concept, I thinking moving as far away from any information/contact is the best, that way you don't have to hear about any details. I think it is a good closure tool that you found out the ex is dating someone else, however, no need to hear any more details than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Numbheart Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I would agree, knowing your ex is dating so soon after your split is a permanent closure for me and helps like theres no tomorrow....if I knew that about mine, I'd be in a much better place right now with coping with things. Link to post Share on other sites
batesal Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I am also in the same boat as you guys. My ex was talking to the guy she with now 2 months before our breakup and a month later she was dating him. She cheated on me with him on New Years Eve, and lied to me telling me that I had nothing to worry about, when actually I did. I hurt my self esteem and I didn't know what to do. What I felt was so painful, I felt like I had been shot and didn't know if I was going to survive. But I did. I have began the healing process, and although it has been 4 months, it actually doesn't feel like it. Keep in mind we were together for 3 years, with NO problems. I had to deal with almost the same thing. A month after our breakup, I ran into his mom and she informed me that he was with someone. It hurt like hell (and to this date, it still hurts to think about it, although less, it still hurts) however, it helped me diminish all hope that we would get back together. So I could start focusing on my life. Then I found out they moved in together, that one stung for a while. I had to endure this as well. It really did bother me that she was at this guys house 5 out of 7 days of the week, days nights, whenever he was there. My reason of why it hurt me so much was a week before our breakup we had signed a new lease and I was soo happy that we had been proving everyone wrong. When I found out all the cheating that had been going on and lying, it really bothered me. I have made a slow recovery to back to the same person I was, but it hurts to know that someone has moved on and left you in the dark with unanswered questions. I will never in the LIFE forget what she did to me. But I would give her a second chance if she asked me for it. This stiuation has actually helped me to understand that a relationship is about 2 people not one person doing everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Numbheart Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I may be soft and believe in second chances, but NEVER with a cheater. My first serious relationship for 6 years actually ran off with me from her ex!.....then she did it to me whilst I was blissfully unaware, then did it to the guy she ran off with, I pity who ever she is with now, poor guy I have had my heart broken and broken and now ripped out, this sort of pain is near on impossible to deal with, if I found out my last ex had gone back to her ex, or to someone new, I'd be back to my old self in the click of my fingers, to me, it makes everything easy to deal with, that sort of person to me deserves not one bit of respect or emotion. Link to post Share on other sites
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