can't seem to separate myself

[Michael Waldon]

my girlfriend and i are broken up, but i'm having trouble dealing with the fact that our lives are separate now. I'm always wondering what she's doing, and when she hasn't talked to me in a while, i feel hurt. It's an alien concept to think that it isn't any of my business, and that she doesn't actually have to keep me updated.

 

It's just strange. We were so intertwined...we were living together, and so much of our waking time was spent together. Now...nothing? I still find it hard to care more about myself than her. It sounds lame, but it's true.

 

I mean, i have a life, but...i don't know. I guess she was just a huge part of it, and now there's a void where she used to be.

[johan]

I don't have any advice. I just know how it feels. I lived with a girl once. When she left, I took it really hard. I sunk so low that it took me years to climb out of it all the way, and I didn't do it alone.

 

What did me in was taking the entire blame for the breakup. I got to be so hard on myself about it that I couldn't forgive myself. But I hated being alone, so I ended up having relationships I shouldn't have. And that didn't help.

 

So I guess that's my advice: don't get too down on yourself about it. If you can think of things you could have done better, that's fine for next time. But try to be fair to yourself and her, and maybe you'll be able to come to terms with it sooner. Misplaced blame or anger at her or yourself will have to even out before you can really move on.

 

Just speaking from my experience. Hang in there.

[Drivetildriven]

I feel your pain brother. It's foreign to think that you don't get to know what or how she's doing anymore. And i'm sure it hurts that she's not asking about you. The only thing I can say is keep busy. Make yourself a better person in every way you can. And it'll probably take many months, maybe a year to fully get over her.