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How to move on from him when I have to see him everyday

Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 22nd February 2019, 11:16 PM   #1
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How to move on from him when I have to see him everyday

I thought I was fine.That I was slowly moving on but thins happens and I have to interact with him everyday. Everyday I am reminded of just how much of a fool I am. I feel so stupid and now slowly my confident is fading. I feel so little of myself.

I loved him, I really did. I believe everything he says. I thought he was at least a lonely man but knowing that he wasn't all that lonely makes me angry.

I am trying to avoid him like a plague and only talk to him when it's needed for work. Not even looking at him in the eyes.

I thought I am fine and no longer affected until one of my coworkers showed some old pictures of his wife.

His wife... is very successful career woman. Even at her age I can say that she is very pretty... and very sexy... even sexier than me. She has a lot of friends. Respected. There was even a picture of her wearing such a sexy clothes which she wore doing a pole dancing for the "girls party". I cannot help but wonder if she never cheated on him since she seems to have so much free time and with her beautiful body and face... how can no man be interested on her aside from him? Still wonder why he had to lie and cheat.

What a jerk. I am so full of hatred. Feeling so little of myself. Embarrassed of myself thinking that he will ever like me when he got a good wife. I am terribly hurt.

I do not know how long will this last. I do not know what to do when I am always reminded of what he did. I wanted to move on and pulled off that NC thing but it seems that life wants to hurt me more.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 9:05 AM   #2
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Where do you have to see him? If it's at work, try staying in your office / cube & changing what time you go to lunch. If you can change your start & end times do that.

If it's somewhere else, just avoid going there for a while.
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Old 25th February 2019, 3:22 PM   #3
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I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling--I know it all too well because I work with my xAP--but I think you need to look at the bigger picture here.

He may have lied to you and misled you (and I really understand how this hurts--it happened to me too) but you also played a part in this, that you need to acknowledge if you are to move on. He was married, and unless he lied about that, you willingly got involved with a MM. You have to accept some blame too.

No one likes to feel duped, or played, or foolish--believe me, I know. But if you wallow in the anger and bitterness of that you'll never move on. It sounds like you are single--try to look at the positive that you are now able to date men who are available that you can trust.
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Old 25th February 2019, 9:36 PM   #4
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How happy could his wife really be if her husband cheats on her? She may look happy on the outside but inside she may be dying. Consider yourself lucky you didn't get stuck with him because if he will do it to one wife, he'll do it to another. GL
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