brigit87 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 I have a long history of neglect, abuse, peer bullying and undiagnosed learning difficulties that haunt my mind. Right now, I can feel the back of my shoulders bristling with fear. It's like a slow creeping under my skin that alerts me that all is not well. The job could have been good but wasn't. It's the same story, I suppose, and I'm sure I'm at fault somehow. But right now all I can feel is terror and it's knocking. It's crawling. And I want to feel better but I don't know how. Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 Sorry you're feeling so much discomfort. I will give you kudos for your sensitivity and being able to identify where in your body you are feeling the fear. A somatic psychotherapist would be able to help guide you through those sensations and help you find the counter movement to release that energy. Yoga and breath work or any body movement would help release some of that, journal what comes up. These practices can help you manage your nervous system's response to your current circumstances that no doubt are being triggered from past trauma. the body remembers. look up the vagus nerve and somatic psychology and how breath work can help calm down the nervous system and help you to self regulate. i wish you well on your path to wholeness 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 I don't know what to say b87 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brigit87 Posted November 15, 2018 Author Share Posted November 15, 2018 Sorry you're feeling so much discomfort. I will give you kudos for your sensitivity and being able to identify where in your body you are feeling the fear. A somatic psychotherapist would be able to help guide you through those sensations and help you find the counter movement to release that energy. Yoga and breath work or any body movement would help release some of that, journal what comes up. These practices can help you manage your nervous system's response to your current circumstances that no doubt are being triggered from past trauma. the body remembers. look up the vagus nerve and somatic psychology and how breath work can help calm down the nervous system and help you to self regulate. i wish you well on your path to wholeness I'll take that advice. My new job is triggering past memories of being bullied. It's all girls and no real clear leadership or protocols are in place. Plus, I was hired for a particular job that is now being taken away from me because of jealousy. I was originally hired when certain people decided to rebel and not help. But then I came in, did a great job, make it look fun and now the rebels want the job back and got it. Every day I walk in hoping I'll get fired. These girls are really rough and tumble too. I totally don't fit in. I don't know what to say b87 You don't have to say anything. Just you posting on my thread makes me feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Calendula Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 It sounds to me like you need to find a new job if you can. The fear of being unemployed, of not having work or money, has got to be less than continuing to exist in the kind of environment you are describing that is negative for you. And if you quit, then at least you have the opportunity and time to go find something better for yourself instead of continuing to suffer through something that you know isn't healthy for you. Believing that you can obtain something better for yourself, believing that things can improve, is the first step towards such improvement. The next step is making a plan. And the one after that is taking action. One step at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 I'll take that advice. My new job is triggering past memories of being bullied. It's all girls and no real clear leadership or protocols are in place. Plus, I was hired for a particular job that is now being taken away from me because of jealousy. I was originally hired when certain people decided to rebel and not help. But then I came in, did a great job, make it look fun and now the rebels want the job back and got it. Every day I walk in hoping I'll get fired. These girls are really rough and tumble too. I totally don't fit in. The cream rises to the top, as you did. Just remember that when you start to feel those triggers. I feel for you. I have always worked better with men than with women. Many women can be catty and petty. Take all the experience you can from this job. Stay strong. Don't let anyone walk over you or take credit for your hard work. Speak up for yourself. A good manager can normally see through the bull crap and will reward you fairly for your hard work. If the manager is just as catty and petty as the other girls, then it is time to look for a new opportunity. Also, I would find a way to put this job experience as a good quality on your next resume, something like "Problem-solver - took a difficult situation and turned it into a positive learning experience for co-workers." You go, girl! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brigit87 Posted November 18, 2018 Author Share Posted November 18, 2018 The cream rises to the top, as you did. Just remember that when you start to feel those triggers. I feel for you. I have always worked better with men than with women. Many women can be catty and petty. Take all the experience you can from this job. Stay strong. Don't let anyone walk over you or take credit for your hard work. Speak up for yourself. A good manager can normally see through the bull crap and will reward you fairly for your hard work. If the manager is just as catty and petty as the other girls, then it is time to look for a new opportunity. Also, I would find a way to put this job experience as a good quality on your next resume, something like "Problem-solver - took a difficult situation and turned it into a positive learning experience for co-workers." You go, girl! It's such a complicated place. I'm going to keep moving forward and trying to do good work. I freaking hate bullies. Link to post Share on other sites
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