TheOnlyOne73 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) Hi there, I have been in a state of despair recently that I am finding very hard to come out of. The weekend just gone I was feeling incredibly low and seriously had no one to turn to. My family don't care about me either. I am 23, Indian (British-born but slightly Mediterranean looking), have kind of dark olive skin, have an "incredible figure" apparently, petite, I'm in my final year of study for a Biomedical Science degree (I'm investigating the effects of anti-cancer treatments at the moment) but am wanting to pursue a career in Dentistry, and I'm from a good background. 4 men walked out of my life in the space of a day: Guy #1 was an ex who I dated for a few months, is a narcissist, decided to tell me he was dating someone else now and doesn't really remember anything about our time together. I heard he was spreading stuff about me, confronted him, and he claimed this was "harassment" although it was the first time I had spoken to him in 4 months and it was me who had ended our relationship back in February. Randomly threatened to block me everywhere. He said he wanted nothing to do with me anymore and directly said to my face he didn't give a s**t about me anymore. Guy #2 was a friend of this ex who had been talking to me for a few weeks (met once in May), he said "you are smart, funny, sexy" but he would end up leading me on and getting bored if we decided to take things further and that I deserved better. He claimed he couldn't be needed or relied upon and needed to be alone, it wasn't anything to do with me. He bowed out, said "I don't think we should talk for a while" then proceeded to block me on Facebook (but not WhatsApp?? ). Although WhatsApp was our main method of communication... Guy #3 was a friend who was showing interest in me, but my heart wasn't truly in it so I severed all ties, he agreed straight away and I haven't heard from him since. Guy #4 was someone who had been trying to get together with me for a year, but his reasons were entirely shallow in my opinion, as whenever we were together I felt very little chemistry and like we had hardly anything in common. We had only met about 3 times but he knew from date #1 that he wanted a relationship with me, which I didn't understand. It was off-putting to say the least because it felt generic and as though it was merely because he was lonely. There is another guy who has gotten in touch with me once a year for the past 5 years claiming to want a relationship with me but never does anything about it. I finally blocked him when he contacted me this year. A year ago my 3 year relationship ended and I haven't heard from him at all since the day of the break-up in October 2017. He's 30 now but I clearly meant very little to him. I can't help feeling there's something wrong with me for at least 7 men in the space of a year to discard me like I was nothing and not look back once. It seems even when it's going well but something minor suddenly goes awry, they're happy to just cut the cord and couldn't care less. Someone please help me to understand this. Edited October 17, 2018 by TheOnlyOne73 Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel95 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I don't seem anything wrong with these 4 people you met. You didn't click. Dating is a game of numbers. Keep on going you'll find one. One thing I do wonder is where did you meet these guys? In real life or using a dating app? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOnlyOne73 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Thanks Daniel95 for your reply. I met them in real life, I'm not on any dating apps. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 It's hard to find one that you have things in common with and get along with well. I imagine suitor Number 2 bowed out because he was friends with the ex, which is a good thing. Shouldn't be dating his friend's ex. Just move forward. Do things you like to do and stay active so you meet someone who also likes what you like. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOnlyOne73 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 @preraph, even if I only dated guy number 1 for a month? Does that still justify guy number 2 bowing out? It was annoying because I seemed to get on really well with guy number 2, we were very similar people and the chemistry was intense, yet he still bowed out and said we would talk at a later date (but didn't specify when ). I think it was more to do with his personal issues and fear of commitment than the fact I dated one of his friends very briefly. Me and said ex now have nothing to do with each other, so it's not like guy number 2 would have that to worry about. Also, how do you explain guy number 2 blocking me on Facebook, then blocking me on WhatsApp for about 5 minutes then unblocking me? He has left me unblocked on WhatsApp . Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Yes. Maybe that's how long it took for Number 1 to find out. No one wants to keep seeing or hearing about their exes through a friend. It's just annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 @preraph, even if I only dated guy number 1 for a month? Does that still justify guy number 2 bowing out? It was annoying because I seemed to get on really well with guy number 2, we were very similar people and the chemistry was intense, yet he still bowed out and said we would talk at a later date (but didn't specify when ). I think it was more to do with his personal issues and fear of commitment than the fact I dated one of his friends very briefly. Me and said ex now have nothing to do with each other, so it's not like guy number 2 would have that to worry about. Also, how do you explain guy number 2 blocking me on Facebook, then blocking me on WhatsApp for about 5 minutes then unblocking me? He has left me unblocked on WhatsApp . I think on guy number 2 you felt insane chemistry around him but he didn't feel the same or he would have at least wanted sex with you. People are right it is a numbers game and there are so many options for people with online dating and such. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOnlyOne73 Posted October 20, 2018 Author Share Posted October 20, 2018 (edited) @stillafool, Guy number 2 did say he felt the same. He did have sex with me many months ago and wanted to again last time we spoke. Perhaps I didn't explain the situation well enough. Guy number 1 used to be my flatmate, we dated then broke up. I met guy number 2 through guy number 1. Guy number 2 slept with me knowing full well I used to date his friend. Many months later guy number 2 gets in touch, wanting to sleep together again (we didn't), we both realize the chemistry is still there. He admits that the first time we slept together he was seeing someone (at the time he told me he was single). He reluctantly decides we shouldn't talk so much anymore out of fear of letting me down/not being able to give me what I need. I should add that one of the people who is currently interested in me lives with guy number 1 (I used to live with them both last year). He has no hold-ups about dating me despite the fact he is kind of "friends" with guy number 1 because he still lives with him. Guy number 1 doesn't mind this either. Edited October 20, 2018 by TheOnlyOne73 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Honey, do yourself a favor and don't date friends. It's way too messy. Link to post Share on other sites
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