How does exercise heal breakup?

[hope86]

Most of the sites etc say exercise heals breakup. But if you're a normal person you'd exercise an hour max in a day. Fine you get an hour or two hours of relief which is not bad but how exactly does it cure a broken heart?

[carhill]

Been a long while but I recall getting a lot of anger and hurt out on the road. It was possible to exhaust it physically and emotionally. Some days it would be 3-4 hours and 50-70 miles of riding full-on. Released a lot of endorphins and the successes of completing rides or winning races shifted focus onto other things. Mostly did it solo but joined others in club rides and races. The human contact helped too. While exercising, I could go for hours on the road and never see another soul, maybe a tractor or farm truck but that's it. Solitude. It helped.

 

There are other ways of healing, sure. Experienced a number of them. Main commonality was refocusing one's mind off the breakup or divorce (in my case). With time, things worked out.

[hope86]

Been a long while but I recall getting a lot of anger and hurt out on the road. It was possible to exhaust it physically and emotionally. Some days it would be 3-4 hours and 50-70 miles of riding full-on. Released a lot of endorphins and the successes of completing rides or winning races shifted focus onto other things. Mostly did it solo but joined others in club rides and races. The human contact helped too. While exercising, I could go for hours on the road and never see another soul, maybe a tractor or farm truck but that's it. Solitude. It helped.

 

There are other ways of healing, sure. Experienced a number of them. Main commonality was refocusing one's mind off the breakup or divorce (in my case). With time, things worked out.

 

Thank you for sharing and I can see 3-4 hours helping. But I was thinking like can just doing 1 hour workout everyday heal such a big thing as a breakup ? Cause I get 1 hour relief and then its back to the pain.

[Daniel95]

Thank you for sharing and I can see 3-4 hours helping. But I was thinking like can just doing 1 hour workout everyday heal such a big thing as a breakup ? Cause I get 1 hour relief and then its back to the pain.

 

You could do exercise as well for the sake of being in shape and healthy. I understand that feeling good for about an hour and then going back to feeling like crap doesn't sound so tempting, but believe me the sadness/dissapointment will be lessened.

[divegrl]

We hold emotions in our body. Exercise will help release those old wounds and build new pathways in the brain.

 

You might want to add in some breathwork and meditation.

 

Good luck my friend.

[ExpatInItaly]

Working out is not going to heal a broken heart in and of itself. I don't recall ever seeing it touted as the cure-all to pain from a breakup, but rather one of many things people can do to mitigate it.

 

It is fabulous for boosting endorphins and confidence. It's a great tool to physically and mentally release stress. The effect lasts longer than just the duration of the workout, and provides a distraction and new set of goals to work towards.

 

You need to make sure not to pin all your hopes on a fitness routine, though. Healing from a break-up is so much more than that, and I say that as someone whose number one hobby is fitness and who has been through a couple big break-ups in her day.

[FMW]

As has been pointed out, it's not a cure-all all by itself, it's just one tool in the arsenal.

 

The feel-good endorphins after working out can make you more likely to get involved in other activities and hobbies that will make you happy because you'll have more energy and a more positive outlook.

 

Working out will probably make you look better physically so you'll feel more confident and attractive, which is great on it's own, plus will lead to attention from other people that will boost your self-esteem.

[Borntoelevate]

I was somewhat fit when the break up hit me 7 months ago, but after the break up, I hit the gym extremely hard (went 4 – 6 days a week). My diet also became laser focused (protein and vegetables from Monday to Friday only). I also began intermittent fasting. The biggest thing I gained from the break up though was being very consistent with my training and diet. Even on days where I was so tired from a sleepless night before (say from thinking about my ex), I would drive to the gym, take an hour nap in the car, then wake up and gym. Other times, I would take a caffeine tablet, and go gym. I was determined to pummel my misery in gym, but not only that, I was stuck on auto-pilot and just brainlessly gym’ed at every spare moment I had. The alternative would be to go home and feel ****. During this time I didn’t get much external approval of my body, I just noticed I was looking fitter (ie. toned arms with veins popping out, broad chest, four pack, thicker legs).

 

What I’ve noticed in the last month though is that people have been complimenting me on my body. At the gym, I’ve had other guys say I look very lean. I was in the supermarket and a kid walks by and said “wow! So muscular!”. I was at a club a few weeks back and girls were feeling my arms and challenged me to an arm wrestle that they filmed on their phones. I went to a rave concert last week, took off my top and had girls feeling my chest and other guys complimenting me. I noticed people at the concert also stood out of my way when I walked around (respect maybe?). Girls that I’ve been seeing have also felt my arms whilst we’re in bed etc. I’ve had friends ask me about my gym routine and what my diet is like when they never did before.

 

Whilst I am still very much hurting from the break up (I’d say I am not even 50% healed), all the above definitely has helped me feel valued. I still doubt I can meet anyone as good as my ex, but, I definitely feel more confident (especially in the dating arena). The attention from other girl’s helps (though I generally have gotten attention from girls regarding my physique, only this time, I notice I am getting more of it). Summer is approaching here too so I am in a good position to exploit the beach weather.

[Young mind]

I believe it’s only propagated so the intended party,looks the best from the breakup, ego booster at best.

[Blanco]

I believe it’s only propagated so the intended party,looks the best from the breakup, ego booster at best.

 

This is not true. It's a "feature," I guess, but it's not the main reason it's universally recommended. Others in the thread have pointed out why it's recommended, so I won't retread there.

 

I will add that in addition to the listed reasons, physical activity ensures that we are not neglecting a major aspect of self-care. It's an important aspect for anyone, but especially important during times of distress (i.e. a breakup) as it can be easy to neglect that while we're in turmoil.

 

Personally, I've noticed that besides the obvious benefits of physical activity, I just feel better during everyday life. I find myself fatigued, cramped, and ornery if I've not been getting some sort of physical exercise.

[LauraXX]

I don't think exercise is a cure for heartbreak and I don't think that anybody really believes that.

 

 

 

However, it does help a bit on some level. For me personally it was always a relief to get my mind off the breakup for at least an hour a day. And to somehow prove to my brain that it IS possible to not obsess over that guy every single second.

 

 

 

Then there's the added benefit of getting in shape and feeling better about yourself in general. And I sleep better at night when I had a good workout and that's of course better than lying awake for hours and throwing pity parties in bed.

 

 

 

It's still just a drop in the ocean of course

[Beachead]

Most of the sites etc say exercise heals breakup. But if you're a normal person you'd exercise an hour max in a day. Fine you get an hour or two hours of relief which is not bad but how exactly does it cure a broken heart?

 

It won't cure your broken heart but you'll find during your workouts and even a few hours after, it'll alleviate the intensity of some of your symptoms. If you train, leave your phone at home. The phone will distract and cause you anxiety. Your workouts can be anything you want it to be. If you enjoy training for sports, then find routines for that. If you enjoy more cardio based workouts like swimming, running, or biking, then find routines for that.

 

I used the gym a lot to help me clear my head. My workouts were more weight training based and I'd micro-manage the h*ll out of them to get results.

 

A typical weekly routine for me was : Day one was Chest and Biceps, Day two was Back and Triceps, Day 3 was Legs, and day four was more cardio focused with abs. I'd take a rest on Day 5 and start the whole process all over again. After 3-4 weeks of cycling like that, I'd take a week off to recuperate. Depending how my body was holding up, I would adjust the schedule accordingly.

 

A typical daily exercise routine would be bench press, 4 sets, 8-10 repetitions per set with a 1 minute rest in between each set. No more, no less. I'd do about 4 exercises for my chest and then I'd move onto biceps and do the same in a similar way.

 

Let me tell you, when I have a 155 pound barbell over my head, it's important not to think about how your ex left you because that bar will crash right onto your head and kill you. So my routines always forced me to put my thoughts aside and focus. Consistently is important. If they were too challenging, I'd break my mind and body and I wouldn't go back again. If they were too easy, I'd have no results. So, I made the routines challenging enough to make me want to come back to the gym. I knew what I wanted from the gym and I made a plan to achieve it. The way I did that was through daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals.

 

So I attacked my training at the gym the way I went at my life. Learning focus my mind on the task at hand while thinking about the end goals. Finding out my weaknesses and strengths and working on them accordingly. Learning to ease up and take a rest when my body felt worn out. Learning when to change something in the routine. Learning about balancing. In many ways, it was training for my mind as well.

 

My first days in the gym, I started off doing about 40 minutes of exercise, 3 times a week and slowly built up to the current routine and became stronger.

 

There is a lot of merit in exercise but like anything, it should be done with goals in mind. This way you do things with focus and it helps you take your mind off of your pain.

 

- Beach

Edited October 24, 2018 by Beachead

[sorano]

You can do a search on my name and see what I posted about aerobics and weight lifting combined. Also, pick up the book SPARK. You will see how certain things can alter the brain and how they use it to treat certain medical conditions and used on kids instead of medicine.

[Normm]

A person can experience a boatload of anxiety and depression post breakup.

 

When a person exercises, tons of those "feel good" endorphins are released throughout the body and offset the effects of the stress hormones that result from the anxiety and depression.

 

So rather than feel really bad, you can feel not so bad, or even good. The effects of a one hour workout can last all day.

 

Plus you've got the added benefits of improving your physical fitness, your mind will be clearer and you'll be able to more easily and effectively process your thoughts and feelings.

 

The alternative is to sit on the couch and watch bad sports and TV and feel badly about yourself and get into a downward cycle of ever worsening depression and misery and poor health.

 

 

I believe it’s only propagated so the intended party,looks the best from the breakup, ego booster at best.

 

 

No.

[Nukem]

I did something like Borntoelevate. I began intermittent fasting. It is easier to count calories intake. At the gym every time when I had enough sleep. Never exercise when I am tired or sleepy.

Meanwhile I began doing sprints 60, 100, 200m. They are very energizing.

I alternate sprint workouts with interval and long runs, recovery runs.

 

I am also very strict with my diet. And it reflects on my appearance.

 

Speaking of this I have to admit that when I got that my ex is dating again the same OM 6 years after the divorce my heart rate jumped high. The first two days I couldn't sleep. Now I am ok. Heat rate perfect.

[Samsara555]

Most of the sites etc say exercise heals breakup. But if you're a normal person you'd exercise an hour max in a day. Fine you get an hour or two hours of relief which is not bad but how exactly does it cure a broken heart?

 

One of the main things about exercise helping is not the immediate results, or the 60 minutes blasting your muscles at the gym, it's the afterglow of it all.

It's coming home with the dopamine and endorphins, looking in the mirror and seeing yourself radiate positivity and progress. It is getting into the routine of doing something beneficial and constructive, to better yourself as a person physically and spiritually.

 

This all ties into your becoming a better version of yourself, and that is what is needed after a break up. To take that anger, the frustration, the sorrow and hurt, and to learn from it and better yourself in every way that you can. You can research brain plasticity on Google, as I don't think I can post links here. It is the literal physical rewiring of the brain, which can be a result of exercise and meditation.

 

Exercise, along with meditation, saved my butt from prescription med addictions, and also from my most recent breakup, which was the worst one of my life (age 31 now)

Edited November 6, 2018 by Samsara555