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this is a mess.


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 16th September 2018, 6:11 AM   #1
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this is a mess.

Hey guys,


I honestly don't know where to begin...I know I'm an idiot and should just move on but I can't. Let me explain...I think like short dot points would be easier because its very complicated.


So me and my partner (which is now my ex but there's other exs so she is just know as partner) met while we were still living with our exs, in separate rooms and have kids with. Better picture


I have 1 7 years old kid with my ex, owned a house, assets ETC


My partner she has 3 kids 18,15, 3 years old 2 different dads 18 and 3 year old with her ex, owned a house, assets ETC.


We tried for a baby, feel pregnant and she miscarried which hit me hard. We were putting in offers for houses, she kicked her ex out, I stayed over every now and then while living at my parents as well. She wanted to marry me, said I was the love of her life, that I've treated her the best in the world ETC.


So the plan was we sell our houses settle with the exs and start our perfect life together...


Now I sold my house, I done everything and she kept delaying her side. In June her ex moved back in and she broke up with me. She has been talking to me non stop we've slept together since, kissed ETC she says she loves me but can't be in a relationship and every time I try to move on she's like but I love you I want you I'm so confused.


I've almost lost my job because of her because I've had a mental break down because of what she's done to me.


She said were done there's no going back 3 days ago blocked me deleted me on all social media and still calls me?


Please help me that's just a quick quick run down
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Old 16th September 2018, 7:56 AM   #2
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What's help do you need? Getting over her? You are not getting her back & you should not want her back.

You may have fallen in love. She has only ever been in love with one man -- the father of her 18 year old & 3 year old who she is back with. Look at the pattern. She's with him & has the 18 year old. Something happens & she goes off with the father of the 15 year old. She dumps that 2nd guy at some point to have the 3 year old. She again gets mad at the love her life so to punish him, takes up with you while she's still living with him. Then you & she recklessly get pregnant again. She miscarries. I am sorry for your loss but if she had the baby, you still would have lost her to the other guy & he would be raising your child.

She never loved you. You were a means to an end -- a way to make the guy she really loves jealous.

This woman is BAD news. You dodged a bullet.

Right now you need to heal. Stop jumping from relationship to relationship. Finish extricating yourself from your child's mother. Build your relationship with the 17 year old. Get your financial house in order so you can stop living with your mom & dad. Take some time to figure out who you are as an adult. Then & only then, after you know who you are & what you want, and have established a new independent living arrangement can you seriously date again.

For now, block the "partner" & take some time to heal from the emotional number she pulled on you.
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Old 16th September 2018, 8:11 AM   #3
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The title of your thread should be "SHE is a mess".

It will be hard for a while but you really need to have no more contact with her at all, and most certainly stop having physical contact with her. Surely you can see you can't trust her. You aren't important enough to her to do what needs to be done to be together. She's choosing to stay with the other guy. She's being incredibly selfish by holding on to you by saying she loves you "but...."

You've let her damage your life enough.

Again, cut all contact with her. There are plenty of threads here on LS giving advice for that.
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