online cheating husband

[nineyearsgone79]

Hi, So my situation is a bit long. My husband and i dated for 6 years and married for 2. Overall we had been happy but there were times he seemed distant and dismissive. I'd ask him to help out with the house and he said he would get to it but never did. Our sex life was also unpredictable.. sometimes very good but other times when I was away visiting family and I would return he couldn't get "into it". He said he just needed to get use to sex again which seemed weird. Anyway, I never had been on his computer but one night over an argument over cleaning the garage I sat at his computer for no real reason and he wanted me to go to bed with him. I told him no i was going to surf. He goes why not at your computer and I said i just want to sit here. He turned it off 6 times before removing the power cord. The next day when he left I couldn't help it and I had to look at the computer. I ended up finding out he had been chatting with women during the majority of our relationship on this site called "mirc".. some old microsoft type chat site. Anyway, he had been telling them he's single or divorced. He was very flirty in the chats telling the girls they were hot etc. Anyway.. I looked further and also found thousands of screenshots from live cam girl sites. I have no problem with porn and he knows i'm fine with that but didn't realize the extent of his interest. He had gone on every morning before i woke up so around 7:30am - 9am .. and when i was out of town. Anyway i confronted him about it and he denied chatting online with girls. I finally brought up specific convos and he admitted it. Anyway.. he wants to just move on and says he will delete the app and that's it. Any recommendations?? I just don't understand what he was missing out on so badly that he was into this so much. He was even chatting on their days before and after our wedding. I'm so disappointed. Thanks.

[Zahara]

I’m sure he was scanning other women during your years of courtship/dating as well.

 

This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. I would leave. His response to you wasn’t even remorseful and just wants you to move on from it. That in itself tells me he doesn’t care.

 

Unfortunately, he’s still going to do whatever it is he’s been doing but now that you’ve caught him, he’s going to find ways to better hide his activities. He’s not going to stop. The thing with men like him is that, when you forgive and put it behind you, it only translates to them as a sign that they can continue pulling the wool over your eyes. If there are no consequences, then there’s no incentive to do anything differently.

 

I’m sorry you are where you are — please think hard as to whether you want to waste the rest of your years living in doubt and misery.

[d0nnivain]

If this has any hope of being fixed you may need marriage counseling & a lot of transparency.

 

Best wishes.

[coolheadal]

Hi, So my situation is a bit long. My husband and i dated for 6 years and married for 2. Overall we had been happy but there were times he seemed distant and dismissive. I'd ask him to help out with the house and he said he would get to it but never did. Our sex life was also unpredictable.. sometimes very good but other times when I was away visiting family and I would return he couldn't get "into it". He said he just needed to get use to sex again which seemed weird. Anyway, I never had been on his computer but one night over an argument over cleaning the garage I sat at his computer for no real reason and he wanted me to go to bed with him. I told him no i was going to surf. He goes why not at your computer and I said i just want to sit here. He turned it off 6 times before removing the power cord. The next day when he left I couldn't help it and I had to look at the computer. I ended up finding out he had been chatting with women during the majority of our relationship on this site called "mirc".. some old microsoft type chat site. Anyway, he had been telling them he's single or divorced. He was very flirty in the chats telling the girls they were hot etc. Anyway.. I looked further and also found thousands of screenshots from live cam girl sites. I have no problem with porn and he knows i'm fine with that but didn't realize the extent of his interest. He had gone on every morning before i woke up so around 7:30am - 9am .. and when i was out of town. Anyway i confronted him about it and he denied chatting online with girls. I finally brought up specific convos and he admitted it. Anyway.. he wants to just move on and says he will delete the app and that's it. Any recommendations?? I just don't understand what he was missing out on so badly that he was into this so much. He was even chatting on their days before and after our wedding. I'm so disappointed. Thanks.

 

He has a hidden lifestyle he's a perv and you can't change his idealistic ways my dear. You clearly seen what he's into. Are you into this sort of lifestyle? Ask yourself that? If not then you have to decide what you should do next. He knows you know and might even like the fact that you know makes it more fun for him to know that his woman is aware of this extra activities..Being naughty, flirting, teasing for now. Hope it doesn't go off the computer into your bedroom without you in the bed with him. Then you really have to worry! That's a form of cheating physically. What he's doing now it emotional cheating.. You can be the best thing under the sun but he wants it all to fulfill his ego! Your not enough for him. He wants it all he can get from the naughty nasty women online. That world is the worst to me I not into that just I am aware of such a world. He's into it 100%.. If your not and he can't help himself, just because he delete things he can re-install them back without you know it. Sneaky behavioral issues he got! Kinky deep sex type. You married him you can stay married or drop him. That's something you have to decide? Why I said it that way because he won't change because it's something he likes to do way before he met you. Now your just finding out the secret pass-time he's into..