escapedmelody Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 I just had a thought about NC: If your ex is contacting you, but you ignore them, wouldn't that prompt him/her to stop trying since history has shown that if he/she sends you a text/email/chat that you won't respond? So, our ex's might start following our lead. Sure, they might miss us because we're not giving them attention, but they might also be thinking, "Well, he/she doesn't want to talk to me, so fine!" But (if) WE decide to end NC and text THEM, we might not get a response. They're doing to us what we did to them, and now WE don't like it. (Assuming that our ex hasn't moved on). Personally, if someone was ignoring me I wouldn't keep trying to get them to hang out or talk to me. Does this make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 The only time I broke NC was when my ex reached asking for a reconciliation. NC is a tool for you to heal and move on. It is not used to play games or to manipulate a response. If an ex wants to reach out with communication about rekindling, then that's a different story. But if they're communicating to you because they want to hang out, say hello, alleviate their guilt, keep you as a fallback, etc. then you should stay NC because communication is only going to keep you in limbo and hurting. And you have all the right to make it clear to your ex if he/she continues to reach out that any communication outside of reconciliation will not be entertained because you need to heal. And if they care about you but have no intention of reconciling, then they will leave you alone. The ones that break that boundary usually do not care and will continue to reach out for selfish reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) I just had a thought about NC: If your ex is contacting you, but you ignore them, wouldn't that prompt him/her to stop trying since history has shown that if he/she sends you a text/email/chat that you won't respond? So, our ex's might start following our lead. Sure, they might miss us because we're not giving them attention, but they might also be thinking, "Well, he/she doesn't want to talk to me, so fine!" But (if) WE decide to end NC and text THEM, we might not get a response. They're doing to us what we did to them, and now WE don't like it. (Assuming that our ex hasn't moved on). Personally, if someone was ignoring me I wouldn't keep trying to get them to hang out or talk to me. Does this make sense? Hey OP, Yes, it would stop them from contacting you. Depending on the reasons for breaking up, you might want to just ignore them and forget it. Such reasons might include cheating, leaving you for someone else, abuse etc. Don't bother responding to texts or calls at inappropriate hours 10pm onward. It's a booty call, drunk call or text. If the reasons for breaking up aren't so cut throat (Ex. Distance, a rough time in their life) then you might have some curiosity. In that case you can respond to see what they want. Keep it short and to the point though. You don't want to end up heartbroken again so don't waste time conversing via text or IM for too long. After a couple of back and forth exchanges, tell them you have to run because you're busy at the moment but would love to catch up in person. If they unclear or nebulous about meeting up, return to NC. Don't give them a chance again. If they're interested, they'll agree to meet up. When you guys meet in person, you can feel the situation out and believe me, you'll find out rather quickly what they want. It's a good way to knock them out in the first round if they are full of sh*t. How you approach their attempts to reach out depends on how you feel and the reasons you broke up for in the first place. There's no one size fits all solution to NC. It depends. That's how I would deal with your question. - Beach Edited June 13, 2018 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Don't respond, block, change your number, whatever you choose to do, Once you make the decision, you have to see the whole thing through. It's a tried and proven method to be able to allow yourself to move on, For many people are unable to control their emotions as well as their brawn. Link to post Share on other sites
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