My decade old mistake

[onedumbguy]

Hi,

Need to talk to someone about a previous relationship/breakup I had. Or maybe just to vent to get it off my chest since there is no one I can really talk to about this.

 

 

About a decade ago I was in a relationship with a girl who I thought (at the time) was perfect. Well after developing strong feelings for her she broke it off with me, with the typical "still friends" line.

 

 

Of course that didn't work, for about a month after we broke up she would try to 'help me through the breakup' which just made it so much harder to cope. I handled it like a little bitch, cried to her all the time, we stopped talking (thankfully) and she went off to date some other guy.

 

 

No big deal, that kind of thing happens and I just tried to put as much space between us as I could, changing jobs, school classes and such.

 

 

Well one year later, to the day, she shows up on knocking on my door with her friend who lived down the street from me, I was at the end of the culdesac and she lived towards the front. I really feel this is where I started loosing it.

 

 

She tries to get a 'friendship' going with me again, invited me out on Valentines day to a 'singles party' along with her other ex who I guess she had just broken up with. Talk about an awkward event. She would send little good morning and good night texts, invite me to go hang out and not so much as look at me all night, make little remarks about how 'only loosers smoke' and 'only trashy people have tattoos'.

 

 

I smoked cigarettes and weed at the time (not now) and had 1 tattoo... She would try to find things to make me feel bad, but not say it directly about me. She was kind of like that with all her friends.

 

 

Well eventually I talked with her and asked her why she came back around and it basically came out she just wanted me around to make her feel better about the break up with her other ex. So I stopped talking to her again and tried to put as much space between us as possible. But her coming back around had gashed open that wound from the original breakup.

 

 

A few months go by and her other ex is stalking her (I didn't know this until later) so she moves in with her friend at the end of my street. One way in and one way out, I passed her car every day for a week, multiple times a day. Try forgetting someone when they are in your path all day every day. I was trying to cope with it but she was constantly in my head at this point.

 

 

Came home from a buddies wedding, drunk, lonely, depressed, and there her car was still sitting. My stupid ass eggs her car. Later I leave again and her car is there, cleaned, so my drunk ass eggs it again. I just wanted her to go home and was too ****ed up to be an adult about it.

 

 

Then that night she is still there, so I take my 5th of Jack and a screwdriver and walk down the street to let all the air out of her tires. I did not want to cause any damage that would cost her money, just wanted her to leave. I depressed the valve until the tires were flat. I felt absolutely horrible about it when I woke up in the morning. This is not like me AT ALL!!!

 

 

The next day a buddy picks me up and we head out. My exs friends brother chases us to the nearest gas station, so I get out to talk to him. I was ready for some accusations, maybe a fight. I'm feeling like **** about it too.

 

 

He says the stuff that happened and that she had her tires SLASHED and had to buy FOUR NEW tires... I'm like holy ****... They thought it was all her ex, who I then found out was stalking her, and that why she was there.

 

 

So I felt even worse. Egging and letting the air out is childish, but a quick clean and pump and she would have been no worse for wear. I never got accused or a visit from the cops or anything, but I have always felt extremely bad that she had to get new tires. A very real possibility is that her other ex came by after I let the air out and slashed em... idk...

 

 

A decade later, I saw her out and the feeling of **** came back to the pit of my stomach and has been sitting there for the past week. We haven't spoken in a decade. Which is really fine with me.

 

 

I don't miss her, I don't want her back, I don't want to talk to her. The things I have heard about her over time made me realize our separation from each others lives was 100% for the best.

 

 

I am now married, very happily I might add.

I love my wife with all my heart and our life together.

I've never acted out towards her, or any other woman I've dated, it just that one god damn screw up that I need to move past...

 

 

I just don't like that I have that one crap memory, that eats at me, because I lost my sanity a decade ago.

 

 

I'm truly sorry that I didn't handle that one like a man.

Edited February 22, 2018 by onedumbguy

[dangerous]

Great post.

Don't worry about it, you were younger, drunk and did no lasting damage. Move on.