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Living with my ex

Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 1st February 2018, 5:00 AM   #1
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Living with my ex

Me and my girlfriend had been dating for 2 and a half years. I'm in college and rent a place with her and another friend of mine. We all have our private rooms but share common areas. After months of trying to work through our relationship problems, we decided we weren't meant for each other and ended our relationship, agreeing to be "friends". It was a mutual agreement and ended on good terms. After two days of breaking up with me, she went away for a few days with this guy she always claimed they were friends but fell out with a few years before I met her. When we were together she would always mention him and situations that pissed her of she would say he did that did this, which was the opposite to what I was doing. I didn't think much of it as I trusted her. After 2 weeks she brought him to stay overnight for 3 nights. Spending all day all night in her room. I knew because I work in the common area. Even though we'd had problems I never stopped loving her and I hadn't after two weeks. I felt like a stranger in my own home and incredibly uncomfortable. I can't move out because I have to stay on for another 2 years and I can't leave my friend behind. She will be graduating in 4-5 months. I confronted her saying I'm not happy with the whole situation, could she wait a bit longer or just go and stay somewhere else when he comes to see her. He comes regularly on weekends, when I have to work but I can't concentrate. Her answer was we're over and it's none of my business. Also repeating they are just friends, but she seems to be on the phone all the time every time I see her and he drives from another city to see her. That sound a bit too much for a friend. I asked why has he suddenly appeared after three years. She said because she was single, so he came back. I knew he always fancied her, but she claimed she didn't feel the same. I want to be friends and been acting cool with her but I don't feel like she respects me and my feelings at all. I'm really upset and can't seem to find a way to feel comfortable in my own space. She's not going to move out until she graduates but I don't think I can stand in for another 4-5 months. Part of me feels really lucky I'm no longer dating such a selfish person but yet I'm still not over her completely, considering she hasn't given me much time. We still talk to each other the same way but when ever her "friend" appears or we have a conversation about him coming over, I totally break down. I know it's pathetic. I need advice on how to get through it all.
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Old 1st February 2018, 5:10 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,357
If she was still going on about things that his guy did 3 years ago that upset her, it's because she is still emotionally tangled up with him. I guessing him "coming around" started during your relationship and may have contributed to the break-up.

On the other hand she could very well be seeking this reaction from you. At either rate, she isn't even "friend" material and you should cut her off completely. I mean two weeks and she is shacking up for three day weekends in your shared home? She has no empathy for you, at all.
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