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19 steps back


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

 
 
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Old 30th December 2017, 7:26 PM   #1
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19 steps back

Been around 5 months now since my breakup.
I was extremely heart broken in the beginning, and still really am.
For around a month I felt like I had really turned a corner and was finally beginning to get over him. I managed 3 dates, 2 of which were not for me but after the 3rd date, which was a really good one, I feel like I have taken 10 steps back. I came home after the date and went back to crying myself to sleep for a week. Back to thinking about my ex all the time! Is this normal to feel this way? Why after meeting such a great person?

Last edited by SarahT1; 30th December 2017 at 7:41 PM.. Reason: Spelling mistake
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Old 30th December 2017, 7:53 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahT1 View Post
Been around 5 months now since my breakup.
I was extremely heart broken in the beginning, and still really am.
For around a month I felt like I had really turned a corner and was finally beginning to get over him. I managed 3 dates, 2 of which were not for me but after the 3rd date, which was a really good one, I feel like I have taken 10 steps back. I came home after the date and went back to crying myself to sleep for a week. Back to thinking about my ex all the time! Is this normal to feel this way? Why after meeting such a great person?
Yep it is. Can take well over a year to heal. There's no time limit though there are things you can do in your life to help with the pain. Getting over heartbreak is like digestion. You just have let it do it's thing until it's done.

I'm with you on this. 5 months since my break up. My ex went back to her ex like 2 days later. I was in pain for a week until my brain numbed me out. Became preoccupied with my own life. Landed a new job, started studying part time. A few other things. Met some cute girls. I felt like I was picking my life back up. Then I hit about 2 and a half months in and my mood deteriorated badly. Lost my job at the start of November. I didn't even care about it. Went into a hard depression. Pulled out of it around early December but my mood sunk again in the past few days.

It's not my first rodeo but it hurts just the same..I'd say one of the worst post break-up recovery's for me. As your thread title describes, it feels like I've gone backwards by numerous steps as well. Ups and downs all the way.

You're not alone

Last edited by Beachead; 30th December 2017 at 7:55 PM..
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Old 30th December 2017, 8:46 PM   #3
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Unfortunately healing is not a linear process. I took a huge slide back at about 1.5 years when I felt as bad as I did at 3 months post.

However, the lows donít last as long as they used to so I can say Iíve gotten better.


I would venture to say most people have similar experiences.

The only difference with me is I feel worlds better when Iíve (thought) I met somone great (she was not).
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Old 30th December 2017, 8:57 PM   #4
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My ex and I broke up 3 months ago, but technically it was around 4/5 too where we were rocky.

For me, I am no where near ready to date, despite being 25 and wanting children in the next couple of years - I still am NOT ready to date and won't push myself.

You need to ask your self, are you ready to date? Do you have unresolved thoughts from this relationship? Maybe you need closure - which youll have to give yourself. Maybe write a journal about your feelings etc, find and learn to LOVE and adore yourself first.

Just because some people would be over it in 5 months, doesnt mean everyone would be, please dont rush yourself.

Some people do rebound well, people like us I guess don't, we need to be stable and at least partially over our exes.
Wish you well.
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