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Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 2nd November 2017, 6:32 PM   #1
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I'm scared I won't find someone else. I'm scared I'll never heal and never be able to invest myself in another person the way I did with him.
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Old 3rd November 2017, 12:51 PM   #2
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You can't focus on a negative thoughts.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford
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Old 3rd November 2017, 1:24 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Broken183 View Post
I'm scared I won't find someone else. I'm scared I'll never heal and never be able to invest myself in another person the way I did with him.
That's normal. It is usual to have feelings of hopelessness after an ending. It all seems bleak and dark. But it won't stay this way forever. Change will happen. It takes time and what you do with that time. Healing will come and you will begin to see life in a more optimistic manner.
One regret, my dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough ~ Hafiz
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Old 6th November 2017, 1:44 AM   #4
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You’re not alone.

Today started well, but later in the evening the emotional triggers started coming in one after the other.

Right now, I feel that I want to contact her and just send her anything. It doesn’t have to be some long message, just any form of contact.

Because tonight I keep telling myself, “even though she cheated on me, I know that she regretted what she did.” And I’m scared ****less thinking and wondering if someone else will ever love me or show me love or make me feel the way she did when we were together, early on in the relationship.

I was on cloud nine. I could move mountains. And now all I have left are beautiful memories. I tried to remember the bad experiences so as to get out of the rut I’m feeling tonight. But it didn’t help.

I’m a completely different person today than the person I was during the relationship. I don’t know who this cynical person is that I have become.

If I do contact her, I won’t have the luxury of undoing that. And I’m afraid I might regret contacting her and be mad at myself.

I feel lost. I’m surrounded by people who care about me and like me and some who love me, but I have no female companionship and I feel all alone in this world.

When things were still going well with my ex, I felt alive. Now I feel like a functioning person, filled with sand and dust on the inside.

It’s as though the world went from appearing in full color to black and white.
I go on dates, but I don’t enjoy them, even though I used to.

I got over her, but now I’m starting to wonder that I might have other things to overcome.
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Old 6th November 2017, 7:41 AM   #5
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Everybody feels off balance after the end of a relationship. You are sad & upset. Your ego took a hit. All you can see is doom & gloom.

Several years ago I went out to dinner with some GFs on the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. One had recently been dumped. Like you she was crying that she'd never meet anybody & whoa was her. We all tried to reassure her that she was overreacting & of course there would be other men, other dates & eventually she'd fall in love & get married. She wasn't buying it. Finally I said, OK, fine. Since it's the end of November I'll give you that you might not have another date this year & you might spend New Years' Eve alone but that wasn't the end of the world or the end of her dating life. My friend still seemed skeptical. After dinner we moved to the bar to have a nightcap before heading home. The owner of the place ended up buying our drinks because he was enamored with my friend. She ended up having a date that next week & was with that guy for about a year. Her break up from him wasn't as dramatic. She's been happily married for almost 15 years now & has a wonderful son.

You will date again. You just need to lick your wounds & finish healing.
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