Anxiety/Panic attacks -- for the first time ever

[notmakingsense]

I can't believe it has come to this. It is at the point where, if I think of her, and the fact that I have lost her, my body reacts by freezing, my heart rate goes up, and it feels like I'm going to just keel over.

 

But the worst is waking up in the middle of the night -- unable to breathe. This has happened to me twice now. I literally had to get out of bed, breathe deeply, do pushups and walk around in order to calm myself again.

 

Someone once posted that you should embrace your darkest thoughts, fears, etc. about what is going on in order to get over it -- but now I'm not so sure!!!

 

I've had friends that have been diagnosed with anxiety issues / panic attacks -- and have taken medication. I really don't want to do this. Has anyone out there gotten to this extreme, and did it get better?

[debs]

it does get better!

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to rely on anti-anxiety meds, especially the benzodizapines! Highly addictive over a long period of time!

 

Do you have anyone you can call who can talk you down from the anxiety?

 

My child in her early 20's would have these and call me at 2am to have me talk her down!

 

Just remember your not going crazy! Allow these feelings to happen and learn your coping mechanisms well!

[notmakingsense]

Thanks Debs -- It is quite scary feeling like you are out of control.... I don't really have anyone I can call at that hour... so I'm going to just have to suck it up and cope, I guess.

 

When you say "allow these feelings to happen" -- do you mean just letting yourself think about it -- even though they are the thoughts that brought on the anxiety?

 

In both cases -- what I tried to do was to think of something else.

[debs]

During your conscious hours of the day YES!

 

Your not the first or the last who has anxiety over a relationship going south!

 

If you try to avoid the feelings your anxiety, it will continue to the extreme it is now!

 

Scream, cry get those feelings out and deal with them!

 

And find a sympathetic ear to rely on at times of severe anxiety!

 

This will be a great time of self discovery and you will be a stronger person emotionally afterwards!

 

Let me say "failing" at a relationship is hard to accept but we all have a "notch" or 2 on our own belts!

 

We have lived through it and we came out more emotionally intact due to self discovery!

[notmakingsense]

Thanks again Debs -- those sound like words of wizdom to me.

[dgiirl]

One of the things that has helped me with my panic/anxiety attacks is to figure out what exactly I was scared about. To pay attention to my body, and the sensations that it's going through, allow them to come over and embrace the feeling, and then figure out what exactly I was nervous about. For me, the attacks would come during the day when I was shopping or in line at the bank, and it all came out of fear. I was scared I didnt find the perfect clothes, and somehow my mind associated that finding the perfect outfit would make my stbxh come back. Or being in line at the bank, I was scared to talk to the person, and I wanted my ex to do it for me. I had to realize that all I was doing was asking a simple question. I had a lot of fear about being alone, and not finding someone to love me, and so I would rather remain in this relationship. I came to realize (and still need to remember) that it's ok for me to be alone. I dont need my ex to help me through the day to day things. In fact, the more I've done, the more impowered I'm becoming. I'm not 100% better with crying, but I havent had an attack in a few weeks (month?).

[moon]

You read my mind. Yup, I just had my second panic attack of my whole life a few days ago. I was driving in the car when it happened. You know if you are having a real panic attack. You literally feel like you are going to die. You can hardly breath. Panic attacks signal to me that there is something deep inside that I am not dealing with. Mine is what made me decide to break no contact with my ex-boyfriend today. I realized that there was no dialogue what so ever after that break up and I never got some needed post closure. I couldn't have gotten it right after the break up, but I just needed to say a few parting words because my break up was so painful and nasty and I bottled up a lot of those emotions....plus I am supposed to be leaving the country again soon.

 

I did talk about it with my therapist and she said I need to think (in my sane times) what makes me anxious. I have been thinking about that. I had one other panic attack almost five years ago. MAN they suck. Valium is the only thing that really helps or get on anti-anxiety medication. I am not on any medication, but I did some reading about it today.

[notmakingsense]

Well, all I can say is that this is no fun. If they don't decrease with time, then I'll see someone about them. I'm almost afraid to go to bed tonight, but I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to get through all this crap soon.

[moon]

NotMakingSense,

 

I think you should probably make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist. You should tell them about this. They will at least prescribe you some Valuim or Zanax for an emergency. I hear Paxil helps too as a long range remedy. I don't think I necessarily have a problem with panic attacks. It was five years before I had my second one, but it was strange because I was cleaning out my dresser drawers over the weekend and I found some tablets I had bought traveling I think. There was a name on one so I looked it up online. It was a form of Valium. I don't even remember getting them, but I do remember going to a doctor the last time I had the panic attack and was given some mood relaxers. I think the tablets I found was the last of them. But anyway, I had some on hand a few days ago when I was flipping out---funny how that works. I feel fine right now. Sleeping is fine. I think you usually have sort of aftershocks for the next week after a panic attack. It's funny because I hear friends say oh I had an anxiety attack over this or that.......but I know that means they were just stressing. A real panic attack is no laughing matter.

[whichwayisup]

There are afew threads in the Personal and Improvement section. Check those out.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t63133/ Is one thread to read...and Naive's thread is another one about anxiety too.

 

My suggestion is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now and it has helped me alot! I'm not as scared of the panic attacks as now I know what they are about. I understand WHY I get them and that most of them are just physical reactions my body is feeling - So I know I won't faint, throw up or have a heart attack. It's all mind control and not letting the fear, the intense build up of anxiety and the actual panic attack take over you.

 

I became abit agrophobic, started avoiding various places - restaurants, driving far in the car, then eventually it almost got to the point I couldn't GO anywhere too far without somebody with me. I felt so alone and down. Didnt have anybody to talk to.

 

Realized I didn't like how I was feeling, decided to seek therapy because going down that tunnel scared me so bad - I didn't ever want to feel worse than what I was feeling back then.

 

Talk about it. Write about it. Don't isolate yourself, ask for help, rely on friends/family/neighbours to help you if you can't get to places on your own...If you start avoiding - you are teaching yourself some nasty behaviour habits...It's taking alot longer with my CBT cuz I allowed the avoidance to take over.

 

Fight it hard - Understand what it is that you're actually worried about. Your childhood fears? Something from your past? Or worried about the future? Find out what is the cause is and slowly work through DeStressing yourself.

 

Exercise, do yoga, get enough sleep, drink water, cut out caffeine, eat well, and even if you can take many vitamin supplements. Those definately help, especially in the winter.

 

Start a daily journal and write down your thoughts..

 

If you are experiencing an anxiety attack or not feeling well call a friend. Reach out.

 

Hope this helps.

[notmakingsense]

This totally helps everyone! ..... I'm pretty sure what is bringing this all on.... the fact that I'm losing my gf, the fact that I'm paying way too much for a house that I'm closing on in 3 weeks, and at the same time trying to take my kids on a vacation.... I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.

 

At this point, I think it will pass -- and talking to my friends and posting/reading on here has helped tremendously.

 

That said, I'm a believer in therapy -- so I will do that if it gets to the point that if following all your suggestions aren't making me feel better -- I'll get some professional help.

 

Thanks again!

[suegail]

I experienced one very sudden very alarming panic attack years ago. My heart was banging, thought I'd pass out, couldn't breathe...and I remember I said to myself, "Don't be ridiculous!" I splashed cold water on my face, went outside for awhile, walked around. It never happened again thank goodness.

[notmakingsense]

What were you thinking about when it happened?

[debs]

I am back from my shift.....

 

wow! You really do have alot of stress on you don't you?

 

Is their anyway you can back out of the house? Find something within more reason?

 

The kids and vacation...hmmm that is a toughie! If it were my kid she would understand. More than one your in a pickle there!

 

I just sat with an elderly gentleman and he finally got over his real anxiety! He is dying of an obstructive pulmonary disease and I was greatful just quietly sitting with him holding his hand calmed him enough to let his body rest!!

[notmakingsense]

Its nice to put things in perspective. The man you were helping has way more to be anxious about than I do....

 

Everything is too expensive here, so I just have to bite the bullet and jump into the market. Not much choice, I'm afraid.

 

2 kids and 1 of their friends would be too much to dissappoint -- so that has to stay on plan also.

 

I think I'll get through this -- you guys are a great help!

[mullins]

Panick attacks are the worst thing ever, i used to get them before counilling. Its all about breathing, breath in to the count of 4, hold for a second, then out to the count of six. Try to do this whenever you think about it, you will eventually do it naturally.

Tensing your whole body, then relaxing helps too. When thoughts come into your head, acknowledge them and move on, it teaches you sub consciuos (sp) to deal with things.

 

Like you i dont like taking pills, but i use Calms and St Johns Wort, both herbal, and really work.

[Jess xx]

They really do get better with time.

 

Its hard to believe that now, at the beginning of my break up I was having anxiety 24/7 for the first two weeks of NC then it became intermittent. Your body is in shock, but something else I noticed is although is is really hard you have to look after yourself by eating properly, I personally found the main trigger was when I didn't eat.

 

I really thought I was going to keep feeling it all the time and I do occassionally suffer from it, but as time passes is have definately lessened.

[suegail]

When I had my panic attack it was a family stress situation and I felt somehow that I had no control over something that had happened, and I just sort of built it up in my mind..."oh no, if this happens, that will happen. if that happens, I can't stop it. why didn't I stop it to begin with?" and I began to lose it. It was way over the top blown out of proportion, and next thing I knew, I couldn't breathe, felt like my heart was pounding so hard I'd pass out or die or both.

 

I once watched a documentary of some sort which studied why some people handle emergency situations well and some do not, life and death type of situations, and one man said that there are some who can stop and think and decide how is the best way to get out, and others who panic to such a degree that they cannot see the exit sign even if it's directly in front of them. I tend to see panic attacks in the same light, because I think it is essentially the same thing, an out of control emotional reaction to stress or fear. I know from having experienced it that it is a very real thing, total panic that makes you feel you're physically going to collapse, but I think we can learn how to control our reactions, as others here have pointed out.

[moon]

I just had another panic attack today. This time it was while I was driving. It was crippling. I literally had to pull over to the side of the road and ask somebody to take me to the emergency room. I don't know what is happening to me. I had to wait for a number of hours and then they gave me some valium. I am now living in fear that I'll have another one. I think it's a bunch of stress all built up for me. I am supposed to be moving soon to to another country and for the first time I just don't know if I can do it.

 

I am going to go get a real therapist on Monday....one who can help me find real strategies to help me deal with stress. I might also get on some anti-anxiety medication. The therapist I have now just listens to me for an hour and I think I've convinced her that everything is going so well in my life now. She almost seems more like a friend. But I need somebody who I can get real with and tell them about all the aspects of my life and have them help me get over them. So I think I've decided that I need to not go away next year and deal with all my issues or they'll deal with me accordingly. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I am sort of a classic over achiever........and I need to start just acting like a normal human being with issues.

 

Anyway, don't know exactly what to say about panic attacks except that I do think it really is your body telling you something major.

[moon]

I'd just like to say that my anxiety has totally gone away. I had a panic attack and then physical conditions that could have brought on a panic attack, but I am fine now.

 

What I had to do LITERALLY was make myself keep doing everything that was making me feel anxious. I had to walk through every situation, drive down whatever road, all of it and slowly my anxiety went away.

 

I think for me I was just going through a paticularly stressful period and I had a few crucial decisions to make.

 

But I can say that what you must do if you start to have panic attacks is to keep on doing what ever it is you're doing (not matter how painful). Don't let yourself get afraid. I also bought books and many of them point to bad diet and no exercise as a way that stress can build up and help create panic attacks. I started taking vitamins and I've been exercising more. I also realized that there were a few things in my life that were causing me great fear. I had to think about those things and think about why they were causing me so much stress.

 

So basically the key to getting over panic attacks and anxiety (at least the mild to moderate kind) is to take all your thoughts head on and to do a lot of self care. You also must continue to do whatever it is you do in your daily life, even if it starts making you feel anxious. It you are at work I noticed Motrin helps for mild relief or take a Calms from the health food store. Practicing breathing exercises helps too. You really have to try to slow your breathing down during a panic attack, not speed it up. Inhailing through your nose and out your mouth helps. But take a moment and hold the breath in before you exhale.

 

So anyway, I am not experiencing any more anxiety and I didn't take any medication (except a few valium).

But I think valium can really become addicting, so I'd advise only taking it in rare cases of extreme anxiety.

 

Sooner or later you'll start to feel fine again. My anxiety lasted about 5 weeks on and off. But I don't feel it any more......So I think there is a cure to this all. Most of all you should try to relieve the stress you are dealing with and combat the thoughts in your head. You must control your mind and try to think good thoughts about what ever it is you are stressing and worrying about. You have to make yourself feel safe! You have to be your own best friend sometimes.

 

Good luck.

[Rosalind]

I 'm so stranger to panic/axiety disorder...took a couple of weeks off the meds - and I'm a total wreck...today in therapy they actually administered drugs to me, right there, in the office!

 

I left, prescription in hand, immediently got it it filled at the pharmacy, and I'll be just fine again in a few days.

 

Do NOT EVER feel ashamed that you need help.

[moon]

I agree if you really need medication for anxiety attacks you should take them and not be afraid to ask for help.

 

But you can try a few other things first. I changed my eating habit, started getting more sleep, started exercising and relaxing more, I take multi-vitamens and tried to stop thinking sooooooo much and my anxiety went away.

 

Before you convince yourself you need anxiety medication you might want to look around for alternatives because thankfully, my anxiety went away when I began to take better care of myself. Now when my thoughts start getting exagerated or I begin to stress I totally tell myself, okay think about it later. NOTHING is so important for me to put strain on my own body and to create anxiety for myself. I try to just brush it off as best I can.

 

I have just been letting things go a lot more recently and feeling much better about it. There are a lot of good books out there to read about anxiety too. I know it SUCKS big time to have panic attacks or anxiety, but mine went away and I doubt I am any sort of miracle. Praying helps too. But by all means, if you have tried everything and you can't get past the anxiety definately consult your doctor and do whatever it takes to feel free again.

 

good luck.