Abandonment Recovery / Coping

[abandoned386]

Just a brief overnight ramble.. Had one of those rough days.. Gf left me June 2.. (A Friday.. So every Friday since, it kinda haunts me more than usual) via text message while I was asleep.. Blindsided out of the blue.. And the thing that bothers me the absolute most is not being able to fathom how someone can do that to someone. Haven't heard from her since and I don't really want to.. It's just the idea of it.. She's 28 and I am 31.. We dated for 2 years and 2+ months. While I hate hearing about anybody's break up on here, when I hear it was done in person, I can't help but respect the mature handling of it.. I'm kinda flooded with grief every day when I wake up and open my eyes because I always remember how it felt to reach over and see that text message.. I know it'll get better eventually.. Just hate this drag of a time it takes to get there. I loved her so much and I wanted to marry her.. But don't worry, I've got a good head on my shoulders during this and there's no way in heck I would ever give her another chance if she ever showed up again wanting one. I'm thankful we were only dating.. I couldn't imagine waking up to a divorce.. And that's what would happen if I let her back in.. She would do it again. I guess while I give her credit for even saying anything.. I still consider what she's done a form of ghosting.. Since she sent it while I was asleep.. Such a heartless thing to do.. And cowardly. I'd tell you if I thought I ever gave her a reason to do it that way, but I promise you I cannot think of any.. We were seemingly happy together. I was personally super proud of the fact that I'd had a 2+ year gf and was starting to feel those proposal butterflies. I wish her the best of course but I hope she grows up someday and understands the kind of pain her handling has caused someone. I texted her 30+ times and called about 10 or so times 13 days later and she ignored all of it and that's the last I have ever tried to contact her. And the last time I will ever try. Slowly moving on. I know it will get better but some days it feels like it's getting harder to comprehend. As always, I thank each and every one of you for always being here. I love that I found LS.. It's a daily help.

[bummer]

pick an awesome healthy routine to do every friday that makes you feel like a rockstar. bike, gym, pushups, drum set, air guitar, painting happy trees. find something that makes friday's fun.

 

also, sorry about the text message breakup. that should tell you she wasn't marriage material if that's her confrontation method.

[Soak]

Her behaviour is hers, i'd just leave her with it.

 

You're best to go no contact at this point, and continue to withdraw from her completely.

 

I second what bummer has mentioned. Doing a new hobby could be a life changer, and will help you form a new 'you'.

 

Just a little fun thing to do: change your phone wallpaper - you know, the one that is visible when your phone is on etc. It'll give you something different to focus on everytime you pick it up, rather than thinking about her.

Edited August 6, 2017 by Soak

[Zul]

My friend, I know what you are feeling. Although I was broken up with in person, everything about all that she said was a lie. She lied to me for 5 years while we were together, and she lied to me the year after our breakup. I eventually find out the truth, and that's what kills me. I get so angry some days to think that someone I thought loved me, didn't respect me enough to tell the truth.

 

I know it is difficult, and I completely understand about the every Friday feeling. She left me in July of 2016, and cheated on me in November of 2012 and every November, even now after we are broken up; it still haunts me because of how evil she is. Even though I feel more free than ever, because now I don't have to worry or wander if she's lying to me anymore, because I ghosted her, it just sucks.

 

Ghost her in return, move on with your life and find your happiness. I promise it's out there, I do.