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divorced and resonating anger


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 4th August 2017, 7:01 AM   #1
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Question divorced and resonating anger

It has been almost 2 years since my divorce happened. Basically my husband left me basically saying he wanted to not be in a marriage anymore and wanted more out of life , also saying that it wasn't me and by the way was a real mean jerk to me the last few years of our marriage. Together 26 years and married 16 .
That being said , the divorce happened smoothly , we both cooperated in getting that done . I have always been civil , for the sake of our child and that has gone pretty well . Just recently I seem to be having memories trigger of how badly I was treated in the final years of our marriage . could be a scene in a movie or just something I see in everyday life and all of a sudden I feel very
angry . I was handling my internal anger pretty well , but lately it has been creeping out . I get short tempered and I am just filled with hate for my ex . It comes and goes. I am trying to let go of these anger bombs that happen to me . Any Advice on how I can manage this ? it feels like it is just getting worse even when I tell myself there is no point to it .
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Old 4th August 2017, 7:51 AM   #2
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Therapy. This was my major issue, too, and therapy really really helped me. I don't go anymore.

One practical tip for me, and this may not work for you (or be desirable) was this: I tended to get these anger flare ups when I was alone and thinking....so often in the car while driving somewhere. Then my mind would just start racing because of the unfairness of it all, how much I resented him, etc. So I started listening to Christian music in the car and focusing on that, the words, etc. It really helped me with that particular trigger (being alone with my thoughts in the car).

My counselor was also always telling me to journal, but I hardly ever did. Sometimes just getting your feelings/thoughts out can help. Even writing your ex a letter, but not sending it.
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Old 4th March 2019, 4:46 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Therapy. This was my major issue, too, and therapy really really helped me. I don't go anymore.

One practical tip for me, and this may not work for you (or be desirable) was this: I tended to get these anger flare ups when I was alone and thinking....so often in the car while driving somewhere. Then my mind would just start racing because of the unfairness of it all, how much I resented him, etc. So I started listening to Christian music in the car and focusing on that, the words, etc. It really helped me with that particular trigger (being alone with my thoughts in the car).

My counselor was also always telling me to journal, but I hardly ever did. Sometimes just getting your feelings/thoughts out can help. Even writing your ex a letter, but not sending it.
It's been a long while but thank you .
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