3 AM eternal: Late night survival

[No Foolin]

I was on last night during work (LOL), and I was saddened by some of the people on the coping board trying to find some comfort, distraction or answers to "just get through the night". So today I thought I would drop in on a good friend and pimp some advice on what she used to do when she was a wreck and trying to "just get through the night".

 

Background: Christy was a hard-core party girl back in the late 90s. I'm talking a rave/techno queen who could pull down guys like rain; she was a regular jedi knight. She had done it all and completely embraced the club scene. Cut to now: Christy is now a high powered corporate cutthroat: Independent, classy, ruthless, but very loyal. She proceeded to tell me (over drinks of course ) that when she was on the down low from some dude, the worst times were during the night. What she discovered was parallel to what I have read and studied. During the bad times, the all or nothing times, the best that can be suggested is to become mindless. The following is a paraphrase of our discussion.

 

-DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX

 

-Ditch the TV: TV will only give you constant reminders that you are lonely. Every show or commercial basically tells you, you're not ok. Love/sex/relationship shows will rock your sh*t on every channel and right now thats the last thing you need.

 

-Turn off the top 40: Yeah we all need to pimp some top 40 trash that mainly centers on the following premise. Lost love/try to get with someone/getting money so you can get with someone/taking damage from someone. Send the volume to zero.

 

-lay off the booze/hard drugs: Thats all you need right now is to enhance your pain. Put the bottle or the pipe down.

 

-No porn: Especially true for dudes, this isn't going to help.

 

-Rock the playstation/xbox: Nothing wastes time and gets your mind off of life like some electronic destruction. I had a buddy back in the day who flunked out of college over some lame Final Fantasy game (and that was on freaking Nintendo). Yes ladies this goes for you as well. Christy's all time favorite playstation game is Grand Theft Auto (Vice City). There is something about watching a cute, 30 y/o blonde, driving over people to the tune of "dance hall days"(rock ).

 

-If you don't have a playstation/xbox, rock your computer which you obviously have: Any game will do. Yahoo, MSN, are full of free interactive games that will waste considerable amounts of time. *A personal favorite* ugotgames.com.

 

-Read: Yes, read the most mindless trash you can find in your crib, unless you live in a cardboard box, you got some crappy books. Time to dust them off and jump in. Excluding any romantic crap (that you really don't need)

 

Before you know it, you have racked out or getting close to it. Trust me the first few days/weeks/months after the break up demand, trauma measures. Wash/rinse/repeat until you are ready to work on yourself. That is where the real fun starts.

 

You got to do what you got to do to get through the night. This is a good place to start.

 

No Foolin

[BlackGoaty]

Great post NF! I have read almost all your posts and I really must say that you are one of the best guru advisor here.

 

 

- DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX - Checked!

 

- Ditch the TV. Checked! Im very selective of the DVDs I watch nowadays so I will not be reminded of certain memories of her.

 

- Turn off the top 40: Checked! However I do have a particular album/group which I like during recovery from breakups by Matchbox Twenty and the new Rob Thomas solo album, Lonely No More is great too, otherwise, do not listen to all other heartbreak sappy stuff.

 

- Lay off the booze/hard drugs: Checked! It may drown away your sorrows for THAT moment, but when it dies off, I can assure you, you will be feeling miserable as hell like you were on your first day of breakup.

 

- No porn : Hmmmm not too sure about this though.

 

- Rock the playstation/xbox: Checked! Yes, I have dusted off my PS and having a helluva time playing it when my ex refuses to let me touch it when I was with her (she said I wasnt spending enough time with her and with PS, it will definitely rob me of more time. DUH!).

 

- If you don't have a playstation/xbox, rock your computer which you obviously have: Any game will do. Yahoo, MSN, are full of free interactive games that will waste considerable amounts of time. *A personal favorite* ugotgames.com. Checked!

 

- Read :Checked! I have read the most books in these two months then I have read in a year! It really takes your mind off stuff and time does pass very quickly!

 

Some more to add on:

 

- Exercise! & more exercise!: When I feel down/upset in my down time, I will exercise HARDER and LONGER than my usual 1 hour a day regimen and it does make me feel good and happier after it. Remember, exercising is the drug-free way to being happy! Endorphins makes you feel HIGH naturally without the booze and drugs or side effects! The only side effect is you will feel HAPPY!

 

- I'm creating a mini project checklist to work on like recreate my room, repainting it, making plans for that 3 month sabbatical trip which I have put off for as long as I was in the relationship, doing that 2000 pc jigsaw, taking up some new courses & wow, there's so much more to life than brooding about our ex or our failed relationship.

 

- Meditation : Doing this every night before going to bed for 15 - 30 mins gives me a dreamless/nightmare free/knocked out sleep.

[No Foolin]

Thats the spirit brother, excellent work BlackGoaty.

[cubbbb]

Hey, TV isn't always bad.. You just have to tune in to the right channels.. I'm always awake late at night and have been STUPID and broke the NC.. For me it always help to turn on Nick at nite and watch endless episodes of Threes company and Cheers until I finally fall asleep around 4 am! lol...

[beejsea2]

I guess for me during the first two months of my break-up I found writing in my journal very helpful. I filled two books up very quickly!!

 

Now I go back and re-read them and they've become a helpful tool.

[alphamale]

so then video games are the cure to loneliness? that is total krap. Are u like 22 yrs old NO FOOLIN?

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Originally posted by alphamale

so then video games are the cure to loneliness? that is total krap. Are u like 22 yrs old NO FOOLIN?

 

He didn't say CURE, He said help you get through the night.

[BlackGoaty]

so then video games are the cure to loneliness? that is total krap. Are u like 22 yrs old NO FOOLIN?

 

You are never too old for anything, let alone video games. Do you mean to say that a 85 year old retiree can't attend school in the uni because he is SO OLD?

[Marshbear]

I agree with the exercise therapy. It really helps to take your mind off her/him and you also get a good nights sleep. Kick,punch,lift your way to a better you...

[Fallen_Angel]

You're the best, No Foolin.

 

Oddly enough I've been able to sleep alright, but sometimes during the day I find myself stuck in a memory and I get depressed. Plus, I listen to the radio all day at work. I love the station I listen to, but every once in a while they'll play a song or mention a concert that will make me think of him. My challenge is to cut down on the number of times I have to run to the bathroom and cry and/or cry in the car during my lunch hour.

 

I love reading, I love video games (I really need to dig some out!) and I highly recommend exercise too. In fact when I'm on the treadmill and reading a magazine I completely shut out the rest of the world. It's a nice feeling.

[No Foolin]

Originally posted by alphamale

so then video games are the cure to loneliness? that is total krap. Are u like 22 yrs old NO FOOLIN?

 

*Silently listening to crickets after alpamales reply*

 

Wow, video games are a cure for loneliness, like taking a warm shower is a cure for a hangover. Use your head man, I didn't say that. Its a coping method, not a cure, lol.

 

No Foolin