limejoose Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Well Ive been broken up with my girl for about 2 months now and over the last month Ive been doin NC. We were together for a year and than she went to go pursue other things that left me out of the equation. I got all the bullshyt of "i still love you but we cant be together". For the first month of the break up I lived off the hope that we could be together when she came back but this was just causing me more pain than good. After a month of being someone that I never wanted to become, (the emotional type) I called it quits with her and started NC. I feel like I got my soul back now but I would be a lair if I told you guys that Im 100% over her, cuz deep down inside I do miss her and the times we had and the times we will never have. NC has been good, we havent talked at all but sometimes she will leave me messages in her AIM profile. The messages are about being friends. I believe that there is a thin line that divides lovers and friends. I was her lover and she was mine because of this I cant be her friend. Why do people trample all over your heart and than ask to be friends? Ive shared so many beautiful things with her that I cant take a back seat and just be her friend. I loved her in a differnt way than I love my friends. I cant bring her down from her pedestal and put her in my heart as a friend. What do you guys think, is there truth in what im saying? Can people be lovers than friends? Truely I know deep down inside that she never ment to hurt me but what happend happend. Love is just a 4 letter word but my heart is for real. ~Lime Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Originally posted by limejoose Why do people trample all over your heart and than ask to be friends? Why LIMEJOOSE??? because women always look out for themselves and their own feelings first. She feels guilty about what she did to you and wants to give you the "consolation prize" to make herself feel better. Don't take that prize and never be friends with an ex-lover! If you need more words of encouragement or further explanation please send PM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author limejoose Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Dang Alpha I never really looked at it that way. Thats very understandable. Shes just trying to make her self feel better at my expense. That sucks and so does she. Hope she trys putting on her make in the car while speeding to the club and crash crash crash into a ditch. Just playin. I hope she gets a guy that treats her like shyht. Just strut, aint nothing else todo. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 because women always look out for themselves and their own feelings first. She feels guilty about what she did to you and wants to give you the "consolation prize" to make herself feel better. And SOME men do the exact same thing! Hope she trys putting on her make in the car while speeding to the club and crash crash crash into a ditch. Just playin. OK karma here....I have to knock on wood cuz I read what you wrote! I know, it's anal...I always feel better knowing I knocked on wood after saying something like you've said. It's OK to think it, but to write it or say it outloud is scary...Just never know... Link to post Share on other sites
Author limejoose Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hope she trys putting on her make in the car while speeding to the club and crash crash crash into a ditch. Just playin. Its just a part of the song Roses by Outkast. Dont forget the last 2 words JUST PLAYIN. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Why LIMEJOOSE??? because women always look out for themselves and their own feelings first. She feels guilty about what she did to you and wants to give you the "consolation prize" to make herself feel better. Don't take that prize and never be friends with an ex-lover! If you need more words of encouragement or further explanation please send PM. I agree letter by letter on this with ALPHA. There has been numerous posts like this on LS and all the time it is the girls who will dump and then ask to be friends. Oh please they think that ppl can't live without them MY FOOT... ALPHA pls make your explanations public, it will help all of us here. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn ALPHA pls make your explanations public, it will help all of us here. there really is not much to explain here GREENHORN. god gave women the power of emotional strength and men the power of physical strength. women will try to utilize their emotional strenght over men to get what they want. i've seen it a thousand times. the man who can be emotionally stronger than a woman will be in high demand and respected by tthem. and the other thing is that if you even want a small chance of ever getting her back the last thing you should do is be friends with her after the romance has ended. it is the kiss of death. and staying away from her completely shows her that you have emotional strength and are not a desperate and pathetic soul and that you are independent. what would ever be the point of becoming friends with someone you were romanticlly involved with after it is over???? being freinds during the relationship is recommended but not after it is done. screw that! Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Yes ALPHA you are 100 % true and I must say that most of the times they misutilize their emotional strength, they change relationships as they change their clothes. They will come out with jusfications, and I tell you I can kill anyone and yet come up with justfication that will be far more convincing than "I -Needed-Space" stuff. Regarding friendship I must say that one should never love a women or be friends, nothing at all..let them bask in their strength.. I just can't believe their audacity, take in this case, she dumped and then asking to be friend, as if the guys always require something to be, either friends or lovers or else they would die... Who wants to get back, anyone who has a tinge of dignity will atleast not want them back after seeing their true colors. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 You guys all sound salty as hell. I hate it when people generalize on this board. Anyways, I don't do that "let's be friends" bullsh*t. I think it IS bullsh*t, I'll definately do it if I only went out on like 1 or 2 dates with a guy and realized that he and I were not a romantic match (ie no spark or chemistry) but we got along as friends ok, but mainly I just do that to end on a good note and not be all bitchy and mean. But if I've had a LTR with someone, I disappear from their life like a bad dream. And I only wish that THEY would too. My exBF's MOTHER called me yesterday and I was like, leave me the f*ck alone, please? Thanks. Anyways, original poster, I think it's fine to not be friends, and I think she is trying to make herself feel better, and I think that it is usually healthier to just not be involved in each others lives anymore. I say this because you have established certain behavioral patterns already in the interactions between yourselves. You have certain ways you are used to being around each other. Changing those patterns of interacting takes a lot of effort and its not worth it if you are no longer involved. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 People who were lovers can be friends, but there's no obligation whatsoever. She dumped you and wants you to still be her friend so she doesn't feel bad. You don't have to give her what she wants if you're not comfortable doing so. My ex wife wants to be friends and I don't... long story. I agree with BO (back with a new hot pic... ) ... nothing wrong with staying friends with somebody you dated or f*cked a few times, as long as you can handle it. Where possible, I like to stay on at least reasonably good terms with women I sleep with... it's better to have friends than enemies, but you can set limits on that if you want. Link to post Share on other sites
CurvyGurl Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 I don't do the friends thing either... you want to demote me from 'person of interest' to 'chick you know' ??? ehmmm no. Most men I meet these days come out of the gate with the offer of friendship. "Yeah, if I don't like shoving my tongue down your throat, how's about we just pal around and you can just give me some good advice and insight on which woman I should date???" Grunt. No thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 I agree with BO (back with a new hot pic... ) ... nothing wrong with staying friends with somebody you dated or f*cked a few times, as long as you can handle it. Where possible, I like to stay on at least reasonably good terms with women I sleep with... it's better to have friends than enemies, but you can set limits on that if you want. My exH wants to stay friends and I go back and forth because it sucks to be friends with someone who knows exactly how to piss you off the most...... And thanks, RD. You know you love me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
prayformydownfall Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 i have to say it was the hardest thing i did but breakin it off and sayin NOOOOOOOOO to friends was the healthiest thing i ever did. I dont wanna hang round just to b in someones life wen they want me to! sod that! chapter closed, move on, be clinical about it and make the break... for your sake and noone elses. PFMD Link to post Share on other sites
Author limejoose Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 Thanks all you LS dudes and dudetes for the help. Its everything or nothing. She cant have her cake and eat it too. pura vida folks! Gracias Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts