Marco Valerio Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 wow...yesterday I had the urge of peeking on facebook for her and that's where I saw it, pictures of her with a new SO. It's such a strange feeling to see the face of a person who meant lots to you in the past, posing in pictures with someone new... It has been two and a half years since the break up. I knew this day would arrive someday. I still feel the wound, the scurf it has left. Seeing the pics didn't make me feel jealous or anything like that, it was just awkward, like not being sure if you ever met that person in the pic...and of course... I was up all night with the images on my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
JollyDays Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 (edited) That's basically the reason why I got rid of my FAKEbook account: I simply didn't want the urge to look at an ex who has been out of my life for nearly 12 years but who suddenly joined last year. I found out because FB informed me on my former account for reasons that I don't understand---in fact I had been DEACTIVATED for about 2 weeks, so I don't know why it showed me friend requesting her. It had to be a glitch and she was friend requesting me. Block her account so that you can move on. Better yet, do as I did and delete your account to resist those psychological urges to check her profile. If you haven't already, read up on No Contact. Edited May 31, 2016 by JollyDays 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Oddly enough I had the urge to look at my exhusband's fb tonight too... from 20+ years ago. I had the same feeling you did..... who is that person and did I really have a relationship with him? I was with the man for 8+ years and he looks like a stranger to me. Then I realized that he had friended the girlfriend he had before me, but hasn't friended me. I even said it out loud... "hmmmph... he friended HER but he can't friend me? I was his wife, not just some high school girlfriend." Then I laughed at myself. Seriously? Why do I care? Then sat here shaking my head at my own stupidity. I think the fact that you didn't get all emotional about it says something about your progress. You are moving on, even if you don't think you are. Remember... the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If you felt indifferent looking at her pics then you've made progress. After my momentary lapse of reason, I laughed at myself for even looking. You should do the same. Laugh at it and say... man, that was pretty dumb... and then let it go. The images will go away, just go look at something else for a bit. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Facebook showed me the most popular posts from last year and they were with my ex, and their profile picture next to it. I looked at it for a couple of minutes and thought "God, I would never go out with them again, they look ridiculous". I felt very indifferent. I don't know why I thought that, but the fact that I didn't get depressed about seeing their picture made me quite happy. I hope I never have to "bump" into a picture of them with someone new, but I'm sure it wouldn't affect me that much. I am more concerned about myself at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 wow...yesterday I had the urge of peeking on facebook for her and that's where I saw it, pictures of her with a new SO. It's such a strange feeling to see the face of a person who meant lots to you in the past, posing in pictures with someone new... It has been two and a half years since the break up. I knew this day would arrive someday. I still feel the wound, the scurf it has left. Seeing the pics didn't make me feel jealous or anything like that, it was just awkward, like not being sure if you ever met that person in the pic...and of course... I was up all night with the images on my mind. It has been 2.5 years for me, too, and I can relate to all the sentiments you describe here. My ex, I know through our local grapevine, hasn't dated anyone since we broke up and neither have I, but I found him on a dating site (was browsing anonymously) and I feel it's just a matter of time before something pops up somewhere, either live or on social media, of him with a new girlfriend. Like you I was up almost all night with his dating site profile in my mind. It's always strange to see glimpses of someone in their new life and you're not a part of it, when once you were the biggest part of it. You start to think, gosh, where did it all go? It's hard for the emotions to wrap their "mind" around it all. On a good note: look how far you've come. I'll bet if you'd found such pictures a year or so ago, you'd have been crushed. I've never known how people manage when their ex immediately gets into a relationship with someone new. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Same thing happened to me about a year and a half ago. I signed on to FB, and, to my surprise, the fist pic that popped up was my ex and his fiance. Talk about a shock. I'm not friends with either one of them, but I have mutual friends who were commenting on and liking the pic. They were at a wedding shower. I think I stayed off FB for about a month after that. I knew he was engaged, but seeing photographic evidence was something else entirely. But yeah, I do understand what you are feeling. You see a person you don't know anymore. It feels like the relationship happened in another lifetime. I think one of the weirdest feelings is that of knowing a person so intimately in the past and, then, not knowing them in the present. I can't even really put those feelings into words. And I do think it's different when a relationship is severed by choice as opposed to death. Just very bizarre. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Seeing my exes with new people has always given me a sense of relief. It's like they had definitely moved on with their lives. Gave me a chance to live mine in peace. I tend to be amused by the men they choose after being with me. Usually a calmer, safer, less intense guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RelationshipAdviser Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 (edited) I'm going to say this man I don't know who you are, I don't know how you look like and I don't know what happened during the relationship but I can definitely say that your better than your ex and any one of her SO's. You've moved on and I know that when you see your ex with someone else, you get that feeling as it's happened to me before but you need to let ir go. Just forget about her and enjoy your life. Dalai Lama once said," Don't let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace2 Bottom line: Just laugh it of and think about the time, money and peace you saved by being single. You are your own ma, don't let anyone or anything destroy you Even if it's her and her SO Edited May 31, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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