I feel so alone in the world

[Kristine]

My family hates me, as usual. Always finding a way to exclude me or be angry with me. I used to think it had to do with who I was involved with, they just flat out want an excuse to be done with me. Is what I now realize. I have not lived up to their expectations and they are just not interested in being a part of my life.

 

So I finally have my own place. But it's sinking in that I'm really alone in the world. Sure I have friends but they have lives. My daughter visits, work keeps me busy. But all in all I'm alone.

 

Maybe I need to find my peace with it all. I made the choices that put me here. However, I'm dealing with more health stuff. It's just challenging.

[Aniela]

I'm sorry. I know that feeling.

[seamos]

Hi Kristine, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I reviewed some of your threads, it looks like you've had your share of ups and downs.

 

What's going on w/ your family? You say they hate you, sounds pretty serious.

 

Having health problems sure makes everything feel much worse when you're already dealing w/ other problems, I've been there before.

 

You've got my best wishes, I hope things improve for you.

[BelleSkye]

Will you not be able to join any social meet up groups or at least, create your own one for women around your age or health issues? A hobby or discussion group at the least?

 

Hopefully your daughter has friendswith mother's in their lives. Maybe she can organise a Mother's tea or brunch occasion (not particularly a Mother's day event) so you can meet the other mothers?

 

Gosh - even I realised how lonely my ex's mother (or my ex MIL) was. I set her up on a dating site and encouraged her to meet other people (dates or friendship possibilities). Also would spend most long weekends with her - and make her cook for me (only to keep her busy - promise I'm not lazy).

 

Another suggestion would be to volunteer though, I never found a charity or volunteer organisation where I was readily welcomed into.

[Kristine]

My health thing is temporarily annoying. Hormones out of wack or something. My daughter lives with Dad an is super active in soccer. Which I'm regularly invited to. However my job hours are awful so even my normal activities are left by the way side for now.

 

My moods are insane and my appt isn't for two more days.

[preraph]

You would benefit from a bioidentical consultation on the hormones. Get a hormone panel and then use the bioidentical creams to straighten you out.

 

I'm 63, and I live alone with my 2 dogs, and I'd feel very alone if not for them as my friends dwindle. I also have health problems. I think that alone can make you feel very helpless.

 

Get those hormones straightened out (I've been on hormone therapy since I was 18!) Then see where you are. Meanwhile, maybe ask your doc for a mild antidepressant?

[Buddhist]

It is harder when you get to later in life stages. Everyone has already made their lifestyles, way in the world. Often your peers are consumed with families of their own, not a lot of time for external socialising.

 

It's a bit of a joke, but I went the cat-lady route pretty early on.... I do have to say they are a family for me of sorts since I am also estranged from my own. More so now than in our earlier years together. Less socialising for me means I have more time for them and they are a godsend for company and just validation of your existence.

 

I don't know but it always seemed a comfort to have someone to come home to, even four legged someone's. Hope things improve for you soon. Take care of yourself.

[Kristine]

Thanks, I guess mom got over it temporarily. She and I spent a day together, but she's upset I took today to relax at my apartment and not take her up on her invite to come over. My therapist, when I saw one basically said I'm the family punching bag. All their frustrations are pushed onto me.

 

My emotions are leveling out, thank God. Iron was low, supplements are helping. So far things look fine so more tests to come. They think it's a repeat problem of last year. So that alone has calmed my nerves a bit.

 

Gave myself a new hair style, cut it off basically. Love it! Started really getting into cooking and baking. I'm really eating healthy these days, repulsed by fast food right now. Can't afford nice restaurant food, so cooking it up myself. And not feeling like it's a chore as I used to feel.

 

My apartment is nice, kept in descent order. I'm basically feeling happier. Just a bit stressed about money, but I've been homeless, so my anxiety level isn't quite what it was pre ex. I'm just happy to be with my stuff, my photos, and memories of years past.

[bathtub-row]

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. That's a very bad place to be. You know, just because a person doesn't live up to a family's expectations is no reason for them to stop loving that person. Your family is cruel to be treating you in such a way. I hope you know that and stop blaming yourself. Focus on the things you like to do, and on your relationship with your daughter. Things are likely to change and get better.