tom_gbr Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Im still finding it hard forgetting my ex - girlfriend, we broke up end of february last year and i still think about her everyday. We were only together for six months but it was pretty intense. She finished it due to wanting time to herself and to sort out all her problems. I guess she wanted a fresh start and that meaned without me. Since april last year we havent had any contact at all apart from birthday text messages and her apologising by text message for deliberatly ignoring me on holiday when we saw each other in a club. I sent her a message x mas eve saying merry xmas, but i was quite drunk at the time and ended up saying that i still think about her....she didnt reply which got me really down. I guess Im finding it hard to move on properly because my best mate is still seeing my ex's best mate so its a constant reminder of her. We spent the whole of summer 03 as a group of 4. We all agreed it was the best summer we have ever had. My mum says that since the break up I'm not myself anymore, and that Im like a different person....she says ive changed and that im more aggressive. What can I do about this? Also since I broke up with her I havent really been out with anyone else. Just had a lot of one night stands which i feel bad for. There was one girl that i really liked, we were seeing each other for around a month but she went back to her ex boyfriend. I just feel like Im never going to meet someone that i can ever love as much as my ex..she was so funny, smart and attractive...we had the best times together. How long is it going to be? I just found loads of photos of me and her together by accident and it really upset me...gave me this funny feeling inside : ( Link to post Share on other sites
Greencap2 Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 dude there is no right or wrong way to cope...it is what makes you get out of the doldrums. I know those pictures brought back a lot of memories of what could have been and for you to feel that in six months courtship is really great as it appears you really poured yourself into it. In my case was a 3 year relationship and living together for 2 years and was going to propose this past holiday season but she left before the ring was done. Anyway, do a search on LS to Lost_In-Chgo (nickname) as he published a Guide to No Contact v4 which is quite good in terms of how to cope etc. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Originally posted by tom_gbr I just found loads of photos of me and her together by accident and it really upset me...gave me this funny feeling inside : ( Put those, and any other reminder of her, away for good. Get out there and start dating again, not just having one night stands. This kind of heartache will likely reside for some time, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to find inner strength and move forward with your life. I bet once you find anther romantic interest, the pain will start to ease up some. In time, with the mindset of moving forward, things will be ok. But seriously, put those pictures away. After a breakup, they might as well be giant onions you are staring at because they will make you a teary eyed mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 You need to remove all reminders of her and put it somewhere out of the way, mine is in a sealed box with a big note saying "Don't open me". I think you might have a mild case of depression and should consider maybe finding someone to talk to about it, some colleges and works have counsellors you can talk to. Link to post Share on other sites
hit the floor Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 First off - hang in there..... Now comes a bit of "tough love" - reality is simply your perspective on the facts... Your are searching for external sources for your happiness.....unfortunately as I have learned happiness can only come from you. Yes, you had some great times with your partner, but your life has to be more that great times with A partner. Take some time and really start to do some work on yourself --- figure out why others are seeing the change in you... My c/l husband of 14 years left me in July 04 - up until December 31, 04 he lied and lied. Those months were horrible for me - I couldn't make sense of anything, until I started to understand that I could not control him or his choices, I could only control my choices and reactions. Does it suck to be dumped after 14 years ---- YES. Does is suck that he was sleeping with his co-worker and moved from our home into hers in one day --- YES. Did he lie about all of it ---- YES. Does is bite that he never kept visitation with our daughter and she became depressed and suicidal --- YES.... I hated every minute of it ---- but I had to learn to start to think in a different direction because as long as i made my happiness dependent on him,,,,,I was doomed for depression. Seriously, look into writings from Robert Burny (he is at Joy2meU) .... at first the stuff sounds crazy and for me it took a long time to understand who really is responsible for my happiness - this is no easy task, good luck hit the floor Link to post Share on other sites
Three of Swords Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 : ( [when will the pain end?/QUOTE] Not soon enough! Link to post Share on other sites
ion Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Let the river run it's course. It will pass sooner than you think, you're in a season in your life right now, unfortunately it seems like the dog days of August. Keep living, doing the things you love, be active in your life before and now find new activities, explore your interests. Link to post Share on other sites
Prinzess Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 It's hard. I've been in this situation before and yet, it still hurts everyday. My advice to you is to stay strong. Don't give up and don't give in. Enjoy the times you have with your family and friends. It takes time, but in the end, you will realize that things turned out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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