Things I can do now because of Break Up

[SLee]

Hey all, I've been posting a lot here recently and everyone has been really wonderful. My break up is recent and I have good hours and bad hours. Mornings are usually the worst for me. But I've been trying to come up with various lists of things, and I'm starting one of things that I can do now without the ex. Feel free to read and add your own, I'm interested in hearing other people's thoughts.

 

Here's mine so far:

 

-Can go out with my friends whenever I want, not having to worry about him feeling lonely.

-Can make fish whenever I want without hearing complaints! (He hated fish and the smell).

-Don't have to be bored out of my mind waiting at the Apple Store for the newest gadget.

-Can watch whatever shows/movies I want whenever I want without him making dumb comments.

-Can listen to whatever music I want, that he didn't like, without him making dumb comments.

-Don't have to help him with his homework.

-Can decorate an apartment however I want.

-Can see my family whenever I want without him nagging about distance or anything.

-Can visit my family whenever I want without bringing him along and hearing about how much my mom annoys him or how much he hates my hometown.

-Don't have to deal with arguments when I need to focus on homework.

-Don't have to deal with him not standing up for me around his family when they made some insensitive comments.

-Don't have to worry about getting him up early to do his own homework.

 

And probably more I haven't thought of yet! Thanks for looking. It's this kind of thing that keeps me going.

[Leegh]

I liked your list of things you can do without your ex. After a break-up, and when alone, it was so much easier for me not to have to put on make-up, fix my hair, etc., and I didn't have to worry about wearing old clothes, while around my apartment. There is a great sense of freedom not having a boyfriend or being married.

[SLee]

It is great in a lot of ways. Even though I have my bouts of sadness and loneliness, I'm not accountable to him anymore. I don't have to worry about any of his feelings and I'm slowly rediscovering my freedom and how much I DO actually enjoy it!

[DJOkawari]

This is a great idea . Freedom has always been the most important to me and that's what I have now:

 

• Get the whole bed now (she would attach herself to me and just heat up as the night progressed...really useful in the winter however )
  
• I'm only accountable to myself. I've done a lot of silly, dumb, irresponsible things that I truly enjoyed without any fallout to another person.
  
• Picked up new hobbies. Immersed myself in old ones.
  
• Before I met her I set my life up so I could travel but she had a rigid schedule and it made her sad when i went alone so i stayed home more than i wouldve out of guilt. First thing I did when she left me was go on a huge adventure.
  
• Saving a ton of money
  
• Could take down this one horrible painting she did for me. She did others that were great but this one...I couldn't say anything before but I'm happier with new art up.
  
• Made way more progress on my side projects. I really regret the time I wasted, 6 months of being single and I went from 1.5 years to do 30% to basically 100% of this one project.
  
• Total freedom of existance. Sleep when I'm sleepy, eat when I'm hungry, etc
  
• Workout each day
  
• Able to find myself. I haven't done it yet and it sounds cliché but it's something I had needed to focus on for a while. At some point our identities fused and I'm not sure what I am any more. This soul searching was long overdue and I can tell now that my whole life will be better for it.
  

 

A lot of these things she didn't explicitly keep me from but I sacrificed them for the relationship without really thinking twice. For others the end of the relationship really gave me the kick in the pants I needed to "just do it". I also kicked a drug habit because I wanted to "get my life together". In a way I'm not really saying she was bad for me but that the me in that relationship was bad for me. I think that's important to recognize for my future endeavors.

Edited May 4, 2015 by DJOkawari