Gaeta Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 My ex-husband died about 9 months ago. We have a daughter together, she's 27 yo. Him and I were married for 15 years. We had been divorced for a long time, at least 12 years. I was not in love with him anymore and that for a very long time. Despite the divorce him and I always were respectful of each other. We were not a couple but we were parents together. My ex-husband was a good father to our daughter, he was present in her life and he meant the world to her. Last time I saw him before his death was at the hospital where our daughter had been brought to. She had a work accident and had to have an operation. Him and I waited all night together talking about what a good job we did at raising our beautiful daughter. So he died, it was sudden, no warning, he just collapsed and died in a split second even though he was in tip-top shape. It just feels so unfair for our daughter that he left so early in her life. Once in a while when I am alone I cry still that he's gone. I guess it's normal, he was part of my life for a very long time. It's so very strange to be going through this. I don't know if people can understand. Thank you for listening. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I am sorry to hear this, Gaeta. Despite the fact you've been long divorced, after that amount of time it sounds like you still have a true love that exists for him. That in itself, despite the sadness of his passing, is a beautiful thing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Time and circumstances cannot easily replace the bond you shared with him. The two of you created your daughter. In that sense nothing can replace him. At the same time, your daughter is carrying a piece of him in her. All you can do is what you can do to be there for her as she continues her voyage through life without him. You are now more important to her than you were before he passed. I hope you can take some comfort in your ability to bring her comfort with your actions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 My EX BF died almost 8 years ago. On the anniversary of his death & around his birthday I still miss him. I don't want him back but for his son's sake I wish he were still alive. You have a daughter with this man. It's only natural that you grieve his passing. Nobody can tell you how to feel. As long as you are coping -- still functioning in the real world -- just keep doing what you are doing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I can understand Gaeta. My ex husband went through a major heart operation a few years ago after suffering a series of strokes. We were married for 9 years, I've known him altogether for 20. I don't know what I would have done if he had died then. Luckily he has fully recovered. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Sorry for your loss. Even though he was your ex husband, he was still a part of your life and you two were on good terms as co parents. You share a child together so you are tied to him and now are feeling that loss too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 15, 2014 Author Share Posted July 15, 2014 Thank you so much. I did not expect anyone to post. I was really sad last night when I made this thread, my daughter had sent me a picture of his tombstone she had draw her self. He could draw anything to perfection and she inherited his talent. Thank you, now I'm gonna get out of her before I start crying again 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 That's very sad and I'm sorry for your loss. I never married my oldest son's dad but my heart would hurt if he suddenly died. Mostly I'd be sad for my son. Now the exH can't die soon enough..but that's a whole other story... I think it's really sweet that your daughter is designing the headstone. It will probably be just beautiful. I hope your pain is replaced soon with fond memories. xo 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Everything you described is very normal. I am sorry for your loss and for your daughter's. This is a fallen world, and, unfortunately, death is normal. I pray that the God of all comfort will draw near to you and make His presence very real to both of you. Thoughts and prayers coming your way... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 It's very weird and disheartening when you lose compartments of your life like that. Through death or otherwise. Even if you haven't visited in a while. Whenever I start to get sad I just try and remember all the good times and how lucky I was to have them. She was lucky to have him for a good 27 years. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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