In what ways, did your ex change after you broke up? Did it make it easier or harder?

[SameOldFear]

My ex used to be this shy guy who stayed at home on Friday nights and read books. He liked everybody and everybody liked him, he wasn't one for petty drama and he was number one in our class. He was a loner. Now, he parties every Friday nights, is always gossiping about people, and has become such a different person. He's a "bro," now I guess. He has a lot more friends, but I think he trades in a lot of things that were worth more. He's failing a lot of his classes. I never thought he'd become this guy.

In some ways it's easier, because I remind myself the guy I was in love with is dead, but in other ways it's harder because I've seen what he can be and I keep hoping, if he changed into this person, he can change into the person he used to be also.

 

Ughhhh, reminds me of a Pink Floyd quote, "Did they get you to trade a walk on part in the war for a lead role in the cage?"

[Jiivy]

My ex used to be this shy guy who stayed at home on Friday nights and read books. He liked everybody and everybody liked him, he wasn't one for petty drama and he was number one in our class. He was a loner. Now, he parties every Friday nights, is always gossiping about people, and has become such a different person. He's a "bro," now I guess. He has a lot more friends, but I think he trades in a lot of things that were worth more. He's failing a lot of his classes. I never thought he'd become this guy.

In some ways it's easier, because I remind myself the guy I was in love with is dead, but in other ways it's harder because I've seen what he can be and I keep hoping, if he changed into this person, he can change into the person he used to be also.

 

Ughhhh, reminds me of a Pink Floyd quote, "Did they get you to trade a walk on part in the war for a lead role in the cage?"

 

 

Tell me, what is you're looking for here? My ex changed the minute she left me for another man. Who is she now? I don't know...her friends told me that she started behaving the way she did when she was 16. She's 23! The last thing I ever read from her used phrases I've not heard her utter in years.

 

I don't think that keeping tabs and second guessing who your ex might/might not be is healthy or useful. Whatever transformations they're making in themselves may well be just superficial. In many ways it makes it both easier and harder.

 

*The person you loved is dead, that is hard.

*The person that's in their place isn't going to be someone you like!