stansmam Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Hi, Im struggling with things today, so i thought id write on here, seeking advice..... We split up in december and i moved out in january after i couldnt cope with him anymore. We were together for a year and 3months. He was amazing at first, i thought i had my husband! Then things started going bad as he slowly but surely started being controlling. He would fly off the handle at the smallest thing, but he had me convinced that everything was my fault. I was walking on egg shells, he'd go mad if i didnt do his washing properly or if i left the sponge in the sink. He was forever changing the goal post, like i had to get up early to feed the dog if i was on a day shuft. So id get up and he would go mad telling me it was too early to feed the dog. I vouldnt do anything right. He would call me horrific names and constantly raise his fist in my face (although he only actually hit me once), he'd spit at me and tell me how worthless i was. I started to believe everything he said. He stopped me seeing my friends, he'd tell me they were bad for me and they were slags etc and if i saw them, i was just as bad. He told me i dont need my family as i had his. It all sounds crazy and like, why would anyone let someone treat them like this?! But i knew no different, i had no escape, he took everything away from me, money, my home, my friends and family. I reached breaking point when he dumped me (again, he always split up with me at crucial times) and i ended up spilling everything. It was only that persons reaction that shook me into reality. But now, im out of it and im much much happier. But my friends are nowhere to be seen. They will literally have nothing to do with me. Told me they dont want my drama and they're too happy to have me in their lives. These were my best friends. We never fell out. Im distraught at losing them and i just dont know what i can do. They are refusing to talk to me. Please help. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 You gather around those who love you and you focus on healing. Get help from your minister or a mentor or see someone professionally. Hugs, I know this is hard. Link to post Share on other sites
crackerjax9 Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 You poor thing! I was in your exact spot 4 years ago. Surround yourself with family and friends. Rebuild your self esteem. See a therapist. Have you explained to your friends the situation you were in? Like really explained? Maybe write them a big email. They should want to help you. If they aren't being understanding and aren't there for you then they aren't real friends. I'm proud of you for having the courage to walk away and realize you were in an abusive relationship. And if your friends are sh*tty you can talk to me because I've been in your shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
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