London_girl_1985 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I wake up early and just lay there thinking about my ex, sometimes I even cry, and then fall back to sleep for an hour or so before getting up for work. I find that I can control myself thinking about him for most part of the day while I'm at distracted but because I'm so sleepy it's like a subconscious thing. Does this happen to anyone else? It's been almost 6 weeks since our break up. 4 weeks NC. I always listen to music and think about him whenever I'm travelling to and from work too, which doesn't make me REALLY sad, more nostalgic. And I want to break out of this habit. Do you think it's a case of it won't end until I meet someone else? Is it healthy to day dream about your ex so much? By that I mean, is it a 'normal' part of getting over someone? I'm so happy I'm not in that want-to-die phase but I feel like I still have so may bad times ahead of me still What's the worst time of the day for you? Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I am 8 months post break up and while I have made a ton of progress, morning are the worst for me too. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Absolutely normal. I recall opening my eyes and this excruciating pain immediately would rush my chest. What worked for me was to immediately jump out if bed and just DO! Jump in the shower, get ready for work/school, eat a well balanced breakfast just do, do and do. Don't allow your brain or body any down time. You have a life, live it and remember that absolutely nothing remains stagnant. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author London_girl_1985 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 Absolutely normal. I recall opening my eyes and this excruciating pain immediately would rush my chest. What worked for me was to immediately jump out if bed and just DO! Jump in the shower, get ready for work/school, eat a well balanced breakfast just do, do and do. Don't allow your brain or body any down time. You have a life, live it and remember that absolutely nothing remains stagnant. I actually normally set my alarm really early so I can sleep in – tomorrow I'm going to set it for the time I need to be out of bed and just go go go to see it if it makes a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I actually normally set my alarm really early so I can sleep in – tomorrow I'm going to set it for the time I need to be out of bed and just go go go to see it if it makes a difference. It does, focus on you and no one else. You are important and have so much going for yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
StringsAttached Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Mornings are indeed, the worst. lol I remember about a month ago I had an amazing dream. When I woke up I felt powerful and strong like I used to be. For those brief few minutes I had completely forgotten about her and then boom her face appeared before my mind's eye and I literally FELT the negative wave of energy course through my body starting from my heart. It gets better. She used to be the first thing that came into my mind when I woke up. Now, she isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 remember HALT Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. In the morning you could be 3 of 4 of those right out of the gates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blizeow Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) It is completely normal- or if not then I guess we are all crazy... Mornings are so rough. BU 2 months ago; NC 32 days ago. I just started sleeping again with the help of medication from my doctor- I almost went a full 3 weeks without sleep. Not even one minute. I am doing much better in that aspect, but I completely understand how mornings are sad. I have the sad feeling about 3 times a day now. Once in the morning, once at lunch, and once at night. I understand the music sadness- my entire collection is completely "ruined." I was in the store the other day to buy an item and walked pass the CDs for purchase. For almost a month and a half I would listen to NOTHING when I drove because the memories from the music were too much. I walked up to the music rack and bought four CDs- literally never even heard one song from any of the CDs and I am slowly starting to build a new collection. I hope you start to feel a little better soon! Edited February 13, 2014 by Blizeow Link to post Share on other sites
somethingsomething Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I understand the music sadness- my entire collection is completely "ruined." I was in the store the other day to buy an item and walked pass the CDs for purchase. For almost a month and a half I would listen to NOTHING when I drove because the memories from the music were too much. Might sound crazy but I feel the exact same way. I love listening to music but so many songs are ruined for me now. I use to love EDM so so much but now the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. Everytime I hear Krewella I think of my ex and her sister and the times we all partied together. Sad songs FTW though. Link to post Share on other sites
DontBreakEven Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I was JUST crying to my mom about how, like clockwork I wake up at 4am every friggin morning in a sweat and have the most searing pain in my chest. It's unreal. 5 weeks post BU, 3 weeks NC. I know I have so many more mornings to go like this, unfortunately. This ain't my first rodeo .. Been here, didn't wanna do that again. Xanax helps me get through the night usually though and seems to take the edge off the searing morning pain. Since it is addictive though, I tried to go without it last night. Big mistake. This morning I actually was 30 minutes late for work because I literally had to massage my arms to get some physical relief from the pain I woke up in. It must be the subconscious at work for sure. You are not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author London_girl_1985 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 Absolutely normal. I recall opening my eyes and this excruciating pain immediately would rush my chest. What worked for me was to immediately jump out if bed and just DO! Jump in the shower, get ready for work/school, eat a well balanced breakfast just do, do and do. Don't allow your brain or body any down time. You have a life, live it and remember that absolutely nothing remains stagnant. I was JUST crying to my mom about how, like clockwork I wake up at 4am every friggin morning in a sweat and have the most searing pain in my chest. It's unreal. 5 weeks post BU, 3 weeks NC. I know I have so many more mornings to go like this, unfortunately. This ain't my first rodeo .. Been here, didn't wanna do that again. Xanax helps me get through the night usually though and seems to take the edge off the searing morning pain. Since it is addictive though, I tried to go without it last night. Big mistake. This morning I actually was 30 minutes late for work because I literally had to massage my arms to get some physical relief from the pain I woke up in. It must be the subconscious at work for sure. You are not alone. It's been about 6 weeks post break up for me. The pain has thankfully gone for the most part but the sadness is still there. The concept that you can feel PHYSICAL pain because you're so sad is just beyond me. You really forget how terrible a break up is when you're not going through one! I feel like i've come along way in 3 weeks, and I'm sure you will too. How long were you together for? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 It's been about 6 weeks post break up for me. The pain has thankfully gone for the most part but the sadness is still there. The concept that you can feel PHYSICAL pain because you're so sad is just beyond me. You really forget how terrible a break up is when you're not going through one! I feel like i've come along way in 3 weeks, and I'm sure you will too. How long were you together for? 4.5 years of what I've come to conceptualize as a part-time relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
jennifermariecole Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 I wake up early and just lay there thinking about my ex, sometimes I even cry, and then fall back to sleep for an hour or so before getting up for work. I find that I can control myself thinking about him for most part of the day while I'm at distracted but because I'm so sleepy it's like a subconscious thing. Does this happen to anyone else? It's been almost 6 weeks since our break up. 4 weeks NC. I always listen to music and think about him whenever I'm travelling to and from work too, which doesn't make me REALLY sad, more nostalgic. And I want to break out of this habit. Do you think it's a case of it won't end until I meet someone else? Is it healthy to day dream about your ex so much? By that I mean, is it a 'normal' part of getting over someone? I'm so happy I'm not in that want-to-die phase but I feel like I still have so may bad times ahead of me still What's the worst time of the day for you? Absolutely normal. I had this for months after my breakup (and I don't think THAT'S normal) but who cares whats normal? Everyone deals with things in a different way. Some can bounce back quickly, and some find it a bit more difficult. I think you're doing really well actually. A rule I have that I swear by, and that I'm going to include in a blog post later, is to never let yourself have more than half an hour before bed to 'think'. Thinking is negative when you've just come out of a relationship. You'll use the mental energy to think about what went wrong, what you could have done differently and beat yourself up about it, and that is pointless right now because you can't see clearly. Instead, definitely make sure your days are as full as possible - even if it means staying late at work, seeing friends until late, going to the gym for a bit longer, even just cooking the night before so you can take lunch to work - do something to keep your mind focused on a task at hand. That way it can't wander and cause you more pain. It's a cliche, but it DOES get better. I was where you are and I wanted to die every day I woke up, I used to throw up in the mornings because I was so anxious and of course, I missed him *terribly*. These days, the relationship is like a movie I watched years ago that I've forgotten parts of... It's hazy at best, and I don't care much about him. I'm using what I learned to help other people, though. Link to post Share on other sites
John83 Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Yes first thing in the morning and laying in bed trying to fall asleep at night are by far the worse times of the day. No other point of the day feels as low as those times, obviousl exception when something triggers it. Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 I can totally relate. The mornings are the worse, I wake up with the jitters, anxiety and feelings of despair. I think part of it (as much as my logical mind can grasp) is you wake up feeling stuck, while you feel and even know that THEY are moving on. You feel lost, scared, alone, feeling like life is so short. My I total reaction waking up is to check my phone. I think we all do things out of habit and of course hope for things to go back to the way they were. When we first broke up, all I heard was "time heals all wounds" and I guess there's more truth to that than we believe. Link to post Share on other sites
h3braica Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 it happened to me too. I've been crying day and night for months after the BU. I feel stupid not knowing where to go and what to do to ease the pain. But no matter how tired I am at the end of the day I still find myself crying, asking myself over and over again why it happened. until now I am still shocked that it happens to me. it's been a year... he moved on and I still feel miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
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