johncourtz Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 So it happened...almost 2 months to the day my ex texted me last night. I actually had given away a coat that she bought me last xmas, the last of anything i had that reminded me of her. Went out with a lady friend and was having dinner and drinks. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and when i finally went to the bathroom and checked BOOM! If you look at my original (and long) post you'll see how this has all played out and how much of a mess i was. Whats funny is that last week i was at a bar with a girl and saw one of her friends there, who grabbed her phone and excused herself to the bathroom to prob call her smh. I've followed directions and been NC since 11/6/13 with any and everyone related to her. She basically said in the text that she hopes im good and healthy, that she hopes im ok and she's lost me for good. she said she knows she did a horrible thing..and then switches it by asking why didnt i want to have the baby with her. She said she doesnt know why she's texting me but ive been on her mind alot. Then she texted me that she cant sleep and she's been sick the past 2 months cutting herself (she sent me a pic of her arm with cuts all over it smh) and that she needs help and wants to say sorry to me. She said she cant stop crying and fighting and that she hates herself and wants to die. She ended it with you must be happy then. I dont know what to do, the good dude in me wants to help, but overall im getting to a point where i miss who i thought she was and im becoming indifferent. I still love her and i dont want to see her doing bad, but i remember how i felt like i wanted to die. She got family and friends and she still got that dude..so why does she bother me? and its so crazy cause im right in the middle of dinner with someone and she wasnt even on my mind at that moment. Just wanted to share with you guys..you were right. 2-6 months and they reappear. Ima leave it alone. I cant afford to go thru that heartache again. Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 I know exactly where you are coming from, my ex texted me almost 6 months to the day. It set me back and messed me up a bit. If you are doing well and moving forward, as many other have said, I suggest going completely NC including blocking her number, so you don't have to deal with texts anymore. As harsh as it sounds, she's not your problem anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted December 13, 2013 Author Share Posted December 13, 2013 Thats the thing i have removed her number, email everything. She tried calling me through that google app and texted me from there as well. But you're right as much as i do care she's not my problem anymore...she chose to walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 I know how you feel, I have always tried to be a stand up guy and gentleman. I foolishly responded to hers texts and it did absolutely nothing for me but set me back. The short-lived elation felt from hearing from her turned into false hope, confusion, resentment, and frustration. It is important to remember that they are an ex for a reason, especially if they broke up with you. One bit of advice I like is "never get back with an ex, they broke up with you thinking they could do better, now they are settling for you". That's no way to live!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted December 14, 2013 Author Share Posted December 14, 2013 I know how you feel, I have always tried to be a stand up guy and gentleman. I foolishly responded to hers texts and it did absolutely nothing for me but set me back. The short-lived elation felt from hearing from her turned into false hope, confusion, resentment, and frustration. It is important to remember that they are an ex for a reason, especially if they broke up with you. One bit of advice I like is "never get back with an ex, they broke up with you thinking they could do better, now they are settling for you". That's no way to live!! So true. Now she's on my mind a lot and i haven't even responded to her texts. She tried calling me at work but i didn't answer and emailed me a blank email to see if i'd take the bait. Im going to pray for her and hope that she gets the help she needs.I would love to help, but i can be superman to her anymore.She made the decision to throw us away for a dude who wasnt worth it and she feels that by sending me pics she's gonna get sympathy from me? so sad. And i still love this woman but I'm not playing the fool anymore. If she wants to talk she knows where i live Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted December 22, 2013 Author Share Posted December 22, 2013 Well its been over a week since my ex was texting and calling me numerous times . She stopped, and i can't help but wonder if she's ok. If she really needed my help. Guess its just the part of me that misses her so much still. As much as i try to erase her from my mind i can't help but wonder how she's doing. If that was my opportunity to speak with her again i feel i may have blown it by doing nothing and staying NC. I know people say if she wants to see me she knows where i live. Guess this is the part where those feeling come rushing back. Prior to this i had stopped looking at my phone and checking my email every minute. I'm now back to that smh. Anyways just wanted to post here. I don't have her # in my phone anymore so that prevents me from calling her, but i do still know her email. Feeling real weak this morning. Somebody please slap some sense into me! The strangest thing happened the other day too. I got home and there were 3 loaves of bread in a plastic bag hanging from my front door handle. I don't know if it was a prank or it signifies anything. Anyways just venting. Link to post Share on other sites
2fargone Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 SLAP! This is a test. To see what you will do. Do nothing. If you feel you must do something, then give it a week, or two before you do so. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted December 22, 2013 Author Share Posted December 22, 2013 SLAP! This is a test. To see what you will do. Do nothing. If you feel you must do something, then give it a week, or two before you do so. It's been a week and its still on my mind. I've made it this far so i'll give it some more time. And with Christmas and New Years approaching I'm sure I'm in for a rough period. Link to post Share on other sites
Softie Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 It's been a week and its still on my mind. I've made it this far so i'll give it some more time. And with Christmas and New Years approaching I'm sure I'm in for a rough period. Focus 100% on yourself over the festive season, we all feel softer & prone to forgiveness too easily this time of year in My opinion. Wait until after see how you feel Once your through the hard part of Christmas. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 Do nothing shes trying to suck you in using harmful strats like cutting and scuicide helping her will do nothing for her but teach her to keep acting like that in the future with other men to get what she is looking for. To be honest the most helpful thing you can do is stay no contact so she will see its no use and stop doing harmful things. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 F*ck that manilpulative BS. She already set you back. Do you want more punishment.? Worry about your recovery not her. Cav 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 So what. Ignore and move on. Or if it bothers you, block the texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 I swear this forum is the sh*t. It's prevented me from doing something dumb and reaching out. I appreciate all of y'all for real! Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 Made it through Christmas without a peep from her. Guess it wasn't genuine when she was trying to reach out a few days back. More motivation to stay NC and move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted January 6, 2014 Author Share Posted January 6, 2014 I dont know wussup with me today..its been almost 3 months, but for some reason it feels like day 1. I have not contacted her. I ignored her attempts to reach out to me in December and didnt hear anything from her on Xmas or New years. Maybe she had a moment of weakness and wanted a ego boost cause if it was genuine she would have reached back out again or came by my place. Heard she reactivated her FB account. All of our mutual friends say they see her profile on FB and she hasnt posted anything since 10/11/13 which was out last day together. Im told my pics with her are still up. I wish i could ignore how i feel but today i feel weak. I been doing good. Going on dates, spending time with my daughter staying busy, but i miss what i had i cant front. Anyways im venting cause i cant even focus on my work today. I know it'll get better with time but today i feel like crap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You're doing really well, keep going forward. I went through similar with my ex although she kept at it for close to 4 months, every contact was salt in the wound but I didn't give in. I miss her but she was trying to manipulate responses out of me like your ex. Not a good sign of a changed person IMO. Just shows they are inconsiderate about your need to heal and feel entitled to your time and affection on their terms. Keep doing as you are, the 3-4 month mark is a tough milestone. Feel better soon! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 You're doing really well, keep going forward. I went through similar with my ex although she kept at it for close to 4 months, every contact was salt in the wound but I didn't give in. I miss her but she was trying to manipulate responses out of me like your ex. Not a good sign of a changed person IMO. Just shows they are inconsiderate about your need to heal and feel entitled to your time and affection on their terms. Keep doing as you are, the 3-4 month mark is a tough milestone. Feel better soon! Thank you. I don't know why I'm waking up with this empty feeling. I feel as if I missed my chance to get her back but I know it wasn't genuine because she stopped after 3 days. I just wish I could forget and move on Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I definitely understand that. I feel like that from time to time and wonder if I made the right choice but I would say pics of slashed wrists is emotional blackmail and says you will in no way experience a healthy reconciliation with this person. 3 months is rough, it sets in but you are doing what you know is best for your healing. I wish there were a way to forget hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johncourtz Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 I definitely understand that. I feel like that from time to time and wonder if I made the right choice but I would say pics of slashed wrists is emotional blackmail and says you will in no way experience a healthy reconciliation with this person. 3 months is rough, it sets in but you are doing what you know is best for your healing. I wish there were a way to forget hang in there. I'm trying my best to not break. I hear she's back on FB now but I have her blocked. I won't break. I made a promise to myself Link to post Share on other sites
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