kmyelneo Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I posted a few days ago with a rather extensive description of my situation-- and I did receive one piece of wise advice which I am thankful for! However, so many choppy thoughts are still lingering and I have nobody to vent to, so I need second opinions. I'll try to keep this one shorter, but it'll probably be long again: I started a platonic relationship with an amazing girl over the internet. It went from platonic to emotional pretty fast. We both understood and accepted each other on a different level-- it's a shame that it was all over the web; but I'll get to the point. Two months of being extremely close lead to something unexpected. She had been hinting at her "somber" nature and how she wasn't sure if the parts of her that she felt the most pride for, were being understood and recognized by me. I comforted her with the idea that I would accept her for who she is, no matter what-- and she understood me by saying. "I hope that when I show my true colors, you'll still know and love me." (There's so much to catalog, but I obviously can't explain it all. For now, understand that the relationship between this girl and myself was very strong and emotional) She then disappeared and told me that she needed "separate herself from my happiness for now." That it wasn't anything about me and I had nothing to do with what she had realized within 10 days of being offline. She gave me the rather cliche "It's not you, it's me." reasoning (literally, she said that)-- that she couldn't love others without loving herself and that it was time she tried to stand on her own. I asked her what I meant to her and she told me that she was feeling "indifferent" to everything before-- falling out of love with me-- but I could take all of her previous statements as the truth for that period of time. I was sad and over-reacted; kind of putting all of my gentleman-like behavior aside by saying some things that made me sound desperate and pathetic, regretfully. "Your ugly and sorrowful rage does not scare me away" as she put it. When I mentioned that I felt rejected and forgotten, she responded by saying "I am not rejecting the idea that one day I'll comprehend what you mean to me. I won't forget, I'm just going to go my own way." Also mentioning that she was unsure of how she would feel about me in the future. All that aside, it's been about one month and a half since she's chatted with me. I've tried messaging her a few times but alas, no responses. I totally feel like she's forgotten. I get the whole 'discovering yourself' ideology, but realistically... how long does it typically take for a girl who is confused with herself to discover or re-realize that there is a guy out there who loves them with all of his heart? I can't fester up the courage to remove her on Skype because she hasn't done that to me-- and she's the one who broke up with me. I feel like if I remove her from a contact, she'll never be able to contact me again or will somehow feel discouraged. I don't want to remove myself like that, but I might have to? A typical... "I want my ex back" situation, I suppose... No contact is hard when you have no idea when or if they'll ever contact you again. If I did remove her, I would send her a message explaining that she could contact me by phone... is that a good idea as well? General advice, please. =( I'm so confused and I've thought about it too much so I over think every little detail... two months is no time at all, I understand... and every girl is unique, so I won't expect a full on and descriptive answer... but keep hope? Maybe? I love her with all my heart and I know she knows that... when is a good time to contact her again? If ever? Or do I just wait for her? Feeling like if I wait too long I will lose it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 It was online... and she just wasn't that into you dude. It's as simple as that. She did her best to be avoidant with things and not "dump" you in the traditional way, but she did everything classic to say she didn't want you in a romantic sense. No need to message her. Delete, block, move on, and next time meet someone in the flesh next time. She's a flake who wanted your emotional support and ego boost, but not any real relationship with you. She was an emotional vampire who fled once it got too serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kmyelneo Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 I laughed at this post three years later. Your advice is perfect. Can't believe I was this upset over an internet relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Hey op thanks for coming back with sort of an update. Two things I have learned. When someone says they are confused, that is secret code for "I'm not into you but don't want to hurt your feelings by coming right out and saying it." And If you love someone but they don't love you back you love means absolutely nothing to them and more often repulses them. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 When I was a young woman I used to use the "It's not you, it's me" to break up with guys. It was my easy way out and I had no intention of coming back although I told them I just needed time to myself. I'm not proud of this but at the time I thought it would be less painful for them to hear than "I'm bored and want to see what else is out there". Don't wait on her, she won't be back. Link to post Share on other sites
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